At my wit's end with partner

[telsa]

I don't know what to do it think any more. Partner of 31 years, who is facing 70 this year, Ge has been going increasingly off the rails. He drinks massively, chases young women - at least one of whom - 40 years younger than him - reciprocated and included him in her polyamorous liasions. He is leading a very disjointed life, sleeping a lot. When home and not drinking he is depressed. He lashes out at me - is vicious wants me to let him have these relationships, calls me a shrew, an arse hole, is lying to me a lot, which I know because I do spy on his email. We have one dd at uni and one about to go in Oct. I never thought I'd be facing this much betrayal, unhappiness, anxiety in my 60s. I don't know what to do any more.
Anyone heard anything like it?

You need to leave that man. We get one life, write down all the benefits of a new life without him. The places you could visit, the people you could meet, the not being spoken to like shit. You can still lead a great life.

I think if he's not got a mental illness and is just disregarding your feelings, then sadly, for you, it is ok to divorce him...to let him pursue this lifestyle.
Get your ducks in order before you announce it.

I'm sorry OP. It sounds like he's not your DH so legally it will be easier to leave. I'm afraid you are a boiling frog here.
You are probably already acting as a carer for this man - meal prep, laundry, cleaning. He sounds like he has deteriorating health which will only progress with his lifestyle choices. He will soon need personal care. I would 100% leave this man as he is abusing you, and you might feel obliged to care for your childrens father. Leave now, while you can.

But OP. It’s your marriage that’s become pointless. He is disrespecting you every which way. Can you honestly say you are happy with him?

He sounds simply awful, no one should be the recipient of his behaviour. If you don’t look to either leave or ask that he leaves, I suggest you’ve got this for the
forseeable.

Are you married?

Whats your housing situation?

This relationship is over and you will have a much happier and more peaceful life once this Wankbadger is out of it. 💐

Can you imagine how peaceful your life would be without him in it? Would that make you happy ? If so start planning and saving. Promise yourself you will have Christmas in your new home. Would you like your daughters to live this relationship or would you want better for them ? Don't allow this lying abusive man to steal what is left of your life.