Am I dating a narcissist or am I just insensitive?

[Downinthebottomofthegarden]

I'm confused and irritated, but I might be just insensitive.
So, I'll meet my partner after work and we'll chat. But the chat quick centres around his day and conversations he's had with his work colleagues. He'll repeat word for word things he's said to his colleagues and then their response. And it goes on. For some reason, it doesn't feel genuine, almost as if he's trying to paint himself in a certain light - it doesn't seem candid. And it irks me, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something. Perhaps he's seeking validation in some way? Either way, I sit through these conversations and I'm left feeling like he's trying to impress me with things he's said to other people who I don't know and have no real interest in.

He's not a narcissist, he's a selfish twat.

Yes, half the time it feels like he's not interested in listening to me or making a conversation, he's just waiting to talk himself.

Everyone who is in a relationship that is not working is dating a narcissist these days! and every man who tells a lie now and then is gaslighting.

Playing his advocate here- do you think he's stressed and needing to vent? Either way it sounds like hard work for you.. You're going to have to say something, maybe along the lines of " let's leave work at work please"
. Good luck 🤞

so why are you still dating him?

I don't believe it's stress, or at least not work related. His job is low stress.

He just sounds like a boring twat.

100% agree @BauhausOfEliott Couldn't tolerate that level of self centred ego mania.

Start interrupting his boring work stories with absolutely anything else @Downinthebottomofthegarden (thanks for that username and the Poddington Peas theme song I just had to sing)

Or stop meeting him after work for a couple of weeks, be very busy and only see him at weekends. He might have more interest if you aren't so readily available or you might realise you are happier without him.

Nobody can say if he's a narcissist or not because diagnosing from a far is unethical and quite frankly unhelpful.

What I will say is this is RIDICULOUSLY common. People in general do not know how to hold a conversation nowadays. This goes for both genders. I, my and me are everyone's favourite topics of conversation. It's gotten to a strange point where people talk at people rather than to them (this is coming from someone who in the 2000's was considered 'socially inept'). Instead of a back and forth dialogue it tends to be one sided.

There's a certain degree of grace that needs to be given for example if you ask 'how was your day at work?' don't be surprised that he tells you about his day. Be prepared to lead the conversation if he doesn't clock he's boring you than just tell him. He'll either leave or adapt. Either way problem solved.

This.

Just glaze over and say 'I don't know who these people are and I'm afraid your work stories aren't really very interesting. Can we talk about something else?' Then change the subject.

If that doesn't work I'd have to get rid. He sounds dull and also bizarre if the tales he tells have the essence of being untruthful.

Am struggling to understand why you are with him if you don’t enjoy talking to him or being in his company TBH.