They Are Not Always Going To Be Happy For You

[MentorChappell]

People don’t exactly want to hear about the great new car you bought, they don’t want to hear how great your family is doing. But suppose you are proud of your accomplishments, then what? What one calls “Sharing My Life Story” others call “Boasting”.

My wife is working with another woman and they have become good friends. They have the biggest fun sharing stories about their families and the success of both families; they are totally excited about one another’s accomplishments. We have another older couple we hang out with and we spend HOURS enjoying each other’s company, sharing success stories and wealth strategies, it’s great.

But on the other hand, we have many friends we no longer hang around with because they were just not interested in sharing success stories with us. Our daughter was living the life in her new adventure, their daughter was sharing butt pics with men overseas. We were excitingly sharing stories of our trip to Europe, they never left their state before. Over time, they just faded out, I’m sure tired of seeing our happy asses. We tried having single friends, but it just did not work out for us. So we have found that it is better to surround ourselves with people on the same plain. So one must surround themselves with people living a similar lifestyle.

This past 3 months I learned why the rich surround themselves with other rich people, why the poor surround themselves with other poor people, families surround themselves with other family-oriented families, spandex jogger moms surround themselves with other spandex jogger moms, and so on and so on.

You want to be able to share your success stories, but others are not always going to be happy for you. I have seen this on numerous platforms: Negative stories get thousands of likes, but positive stories get so so likes.

I have a Facebook friend who lives in rural America, whenever she posts photos of flowers and insects, she gets a bunch of likes. But when she posts something positive about a “Black” person, crickets. She posts something about a little white kid, dozens of likes, but a cute African kid, crickets. A celebrity gets into a train wreck, the internet goes crazy, and cries by the thousands. A regular citizen gets killed while trying to save a kid from an oncoming train, not much interaction.

Over time mankind has been trained to wish for the worst people, his life is miserable so he feels his entire surroundings should be miserable with him. Even tell-lie-vision has society rooting for the villain.

You sound AMAZING. I wish I too could spend hours in your company.

Bluntly, OP, you’re boring people. Most people are happy to listen to your tales of buying a yacht or getting the corner office or your child being appointed ambassador to France, just as they are to hear about the time you set your hair on fire or your toddler called 999, as long as you make it interesting.

@MentorChappell Are you American, by chance? The British culture is very different to the US regarding success and achievements and the way these are communicated.

Edited: changed "English" to "British" in reference to culture differences

Welcome to Mumsnet. That’s quite the introduction you’ve made.

A lot of us can be very happy whether we are hearing stories from rich people or poor people. IME though, “poor people” tend not to focus on materiality and sharing stories which only show the positive parts of life.

their daughter was sharing butt pics with men overseas

They must be so proud 😂

Definitely AI. It's very easy to tell an AI to include some spelling errors in order to appear more human. Cannot imagine any situation in which some random American man would create an account on a British parenting website in order to post this sort of pointless twaddle.

I also think Op is American. The Brits are different, we don’t share our successes with anyone as we just get the piss taken out of us, but we all love a good moan about the bad stuff 😆

This poster has posted on numerous other threads, though.

My mil loves to share success stories but from our perspective it feels like she is locked in an intense competition with her siblings and friends. When we’re sharing life’s ups and downs sometimes you can see that she’s thinking about how she’ll spin that piece of information. At other times she barely hides her dissatisfaction at some of our lifestyle choices when there’s nothing for her boast harvest.

God, how American

And fake

And every post is fecking weird and reeks of AI- strange AI-generated pictures, Trump stuff, odd posts about erectile dysfunction chock full of em dashes and other AI tells.

Sounds like you would fit right in in Dubai

To be fair, some men are actually know it alls like walking AI

I think it very much depends on where the other person is in their life. For example, it’s rude to boast when your friend is struggling with the same thing. This is why it’s more acceptable and appropriate to share ‘success’ with your friends who are equally successful in those areas.

I happily discuss investments, financial decisions, renovation ideas and costs, inheritance, with my friend who is of a similar financial status and background to me. However I wouldn’t discuss my reproductive choices with her because she suffers with infertility. My other best friend is the opposite - we both have similar health issues but no fertility qualms but I wouldn’t discuss money with her because she is disadvantaged compared to me and it makes her feel bad.

It’s about choosing your audience. It’s insensitive to gloat (share success at someone who doesn’t share the same success) but it’s no insensitive to celebrate (share success with those also on the up).

Article title: Boasting Tips for the Smugs; How to Be Bombastically Boring AF And Turn People Off

Yes, this. Surely people can tell if you're happy and healthy and doing well financially, why on earth would you need to draw attention to it? Of course I'm happy for my friends when they attain the things they want, but there's a big distinction between celebrating their successes and just being an audience for boasts.

To give an example, I have a friend who's been single for ten years, lots of dating, lots of heartbreak, lots of worrying she'd never meet anyone, and now she has finally met a really great guy and they seem happy. I'm very happy for her and looking forward to getting to know him. Does this mean that, for example, I would want an endless stream of messages about how amazing he is ad infinitum? Probably not. I have a friend who's out of work at the moment, and finding it very hard to get another job. I can see the impact it's having on his confidence, and his income obviously, and I'll be celebrating with him when he does find something. But again, if in five year's time he's financially doing really well, I doubt I'd be that interested to hear a load of boasts about expensive new purchases or whatever. What would be the need? His success would speak for itself.

I've also tried to be sensitive when talking about my own relationship and career to those two friends; of course I've shared updates, but I wouldn't expect the first to want to necessarily hear all about a romantic Valentine's Day, or the latter to want to help me celebrate a promotion. I know they're happy for me generally when my life is going well, but you've got to have some sensitivity. I'd hope people would show me the same sensitivity when needed too.

No it doesn't, AI generally reads much better than this. This just reads like a nobhead.

Then we can both agree it is not AI. But you still got the message.

Please please share your wealth strategies with us. Please.

You've allowed yourself to wander very far astray with this.
If you want to know who you are, you need to look within.
You need to look inside your heart.
It seems clear you are not doing / don't know how to do this.

Unfortunately, many or most of our "rulers" have succumbed to hubris.
It is the worst thing.

If you don't know what this means, look it up.
Hubris is the ultimate false step.

It's the "no-no, don't go there".
It's the Faustian solution. It never worked. Will never work.

Which is entirely obvious if you just think about it a little.

My reply may seem a bit off the point. Trust me, it isn't.

You are hilarious. Well done 🤣

Yeahhh… none of this actually happened, did it?

People connect with those they find interesting, perhaps share similar interests and like.

That wasn’t happening with friends you’ve become distanced from. Simple as that.

Not because you are better than them.

This is such weird writing. Doesn't sound real. Also very American.
I suspect Ai.

What a boring AI post. Don’t we have better things to do with our precious time and resources than create and respond to posts like these?