How much should a working partner pay into a stay-at-home parent's pension?

[Karma1387]

How do you work out the right amount to put away into a pension from partners income as a stay at home parent?

Me and my partner have decided I wont return to work for the foreseeable future due to childcare costs and wraparound fees at primary school.

I am aware this means I wont be paying into my work pension. I have seen lots of advice that the working parent should put money into the stay at home parents private pension. How do you work out how much to put away?

I have considered doing 4% of a full time minimum wage salary ( as this seems fair as its what I would be earning if I returned to work. But I thought I would see how others do it before we commit to anything.

Any experiences appreciated.

(We are getting married just so it doesn't turn into a thread about needing to get married)

We share our pension 50/50 if we divorce. Talk to a lawyer.

I would say the equivalent of what the working partner is paying into theirs.

Or at the very least what you were paying in before.

4% is much too low - what level of pension are you planning for?

The auto enrolment minimum amounts are

Auto-Enrolment Contribution Rates (2026/27)

• Total Minimum Contribution: 8%
• Minimum Employer Contribution: 3%
• Minimum Employee Contribution: 5% (can be lower if the employer pays more than 3%)

Well it surely depends on affordability and what contribution you would get on current salary and workplace ?

Pensions are a joint asset in divorce.

In terms of tax relief you can put in something around the £2880 a year - the rest doesnt get the tax benefit over paying more into husbands pension.

But i get the feeling if security of having things in your own name.

Please have a full and frank discussion with your partner about your financial situation. Be explicit about who contributes what, in respect of everything. Be explicit about what you each would expect were you to separate. Essentially, because you’re not married, you are entering into a business partnership. You have to be clear what the contributions and expectations are to be.

Then get it recorded by a solicitor. By the time it matters, it’s too late, when you’re not married.

This is correct, as a non worker the maximum tax relief you can receive on contributions is £720. So if you pay in £2880, this is topped up to £3600. This equates to £240 per month.

If you can afford to invest more than this, I would recommend also investing in a stocks and shares ISA, something like a Vanguard FTSE all global. It is a tracker fund with low cost fees that won’t eat into your investment. The benefit of an ISA is that it’s not locked away until retirement, so should you wish to access the funds in 15 years you can.

Having said all that, think carefully about giving up your job. The market moves on quickly and it may be harder to get back into work than you anticipate. Additionally, the cost of living is only set to worsen, due to current geopolitical tensions. Childcare is so expensive but it’s not forever.

I assumed people suggested having my own pension was just so we had one each.

If we are going on the basis of being married we can just put into his and not worry about a private one for me? Then if we divorced it would be split anyway?

I haven't planned for any pension. My partner does 4% into his and his employer matches to 4% as well. So would we need to do 8% of a full time wage so £160 per month?

I already quit my main job 2 years ago. I have been working part time in a basic role but as my earnings are so low I haven't really bothered with pension. If I contributed it based on my current earnings it would be 4% a month equaling £42 a month so should we do it based on that or a full time mininum wage job?

Work back from the type of retirement you want. In today’s value a couple would need an income of £50k Pa for a “comfortable” retirement - regular eating out, one holiday and a few city breaks a year. You need around £250k of capital to generate around £10k income.

We are getting married soon so it wont be an issue for long but thank you for the info.

I'm getting the impression the pension for me doesn't really matter if we are married as everyone has mentioned divorce. So perhaps we can just increase his contributions instead.

This doesn't apply to public sector defined benefit schemes.

Gosh my partner doesn't even put £240 a month into his pension! I don't think we could afford to put that much away for me.

I gave up my full time job 2 years ago. I only do part time retail at the moment (although currently on mat leave) so there isn't a full time job to go back to and the prospect of 11 years (or more if we have another) of childcare costs eating so much of a salary and losing out on time with the kids is not appealing.

But I appreciate the comment and perhaps worth us considering if I keep my part time retail job. It unfortunately just means we never see eachother as a family.

£50k retired???? Our household income with me part time is only £64k and we pay out a mortgage, other half pays out £550 a month through his salary for his car plus over 1k per month in debt payments. Plus kids costs.

How can you need £50k retired?

No idea. We had a lawyer to set up our agreement.

I don’t think you should ask for more than you’d be paying if you were working, but the bigger question is how much can you afford it you will be living in one wage.

If we did it based on me working full time putting in 4% which is what he puts into his it would be £80 per month which we could afford to do.

So realistically thats probably the fairest way to do it is base it on what I would put in full time if I was working. Thank you!

We are debating me keeping my part time job. (I dropped to part time retail after DC1). We just don't ever get to see eachother or have time as a family which is sad long term.

I meant based on your full time work from before you stopped because that’s what you’re losing out
where you paying into a pension and if so what were yours contribution and your employers

once married pensions are joint assets but division is not always 50:50 and will depend on length of marriage, other assets , ages etc of you were to divorce

@Karma1387

you don’t need £50k retired, we’ve spent £34k and lived a good life including 3 holidays. Not having a mortgage, any debts or children at home really helps. State pension is about £12k once it kicks in (not yet here) so we figure we need £20k a year to fund a good lifestyle on top including car repairs etc.

I think I only put £120 a month into it maybe less. I don't think we could afford to put that and my employers contributions in.

Thank you. £50k seemed crazy consideriny lots of people don't have that a year!

Maybe besides the point but 4% employer contributions is really bad no? In my industry it’s min 8% (my employer does 12%, if you put in 5%). Perhaps 4% is average though 🤷‍♀️

True but neither OP nor her DH appear to be in DB schemes

Many (many many) private sector companies put the bare minimum in. Same as many also only ever pay SSP and SMP/SPP to their employees.