How much should a working partner pay into a stay-at-home parent's pension?

[Karma1387]

How do you work out the right amount to put away into a pension from partners income as a stay at home parent?

Me and my partner have decided I wont return to work for the foreseeable future due to childcare costs and wraparound fees at primary school.

I am aware this means I wont be paying into my work pension. I have seen lots of advice that the working parent should put money into the stay at home parents private pension. How do you work out how much to put away?

I have considered doing 4% of a full time minimum wage salary ( as this seems fair as its what I would be earning if I returned to work. But I thought I would see how others do it before we commit to anything.

Any experiences appreciated.

(We are getting married just so it doesn't turn into a thread about needing to get married)

It is very important that you have your own pension, even/ ESPECIALLY if you are married. It is commonplace that when they retire men take an annuity from their pension fund ( often after taking the maximum tax free lump sum to spend on a holiday etc)

If they put a woman on the annuity, the income will be lower as women live longer as a rule. So, guess what, they decide not to bother.

This often only becomes clear when the husband dies and there is no pension for their wife.

The financial risk therefore for a women / wife is often greater if they remain married than if they divorce when the woman would get half of their husbands pension fund.)

Helpful to know thank you.

Ask him and make a decision. Expect over time he may resent it so plan to get back to work as soon as you can.

I'm not even looking to return to work at all or properly until all kinds are in secondary so 13 + years based on having a 3rd.

Nothing. Get a job and pay into your own pension. This is better as the employer will also make a contribution.

I do have a part time job working 2 nights a week. This however means if I go back after maternity leave we never actually see eachother or have a day as a family which isnt ideal! Hence us deciding I will quit completely.

I only earn around 900 working part time so the pension contribution is miniscule (i think something like £30) and not worth doing just for the pension as it will equal virtually nothing.

I am not sure why you think you need to be a SAHM all through primary. Doesn't seem like you can really afford it, especially with prices going up. The retail job doesn't sound any good for you, but getting a part time office job when the kids are at school is fine.
I have just gone full time and have worked 4 days since finishing maternity leave. I am able to work full time now, earn a good wage and still take my kids to school and pick up most days. My husband used to do a lot of school runs but he has just started a new job so needs to be in the office initially. I use an out of school club a couple of times a week. Just saying it is doable so wouldn't disregard it for the next 12 years so soon.
We would be much worse off financially if I didn't work. It is a lot of pressure to put on the working parent.
It's not all brilliant been the SAHP you may resent doing all the cleaning and jobs while not having your own money as such.

DH puts 15% of his salary in my pension, and 10% in his.

I didn’t pay anything into my partners pension when they became a sahp. I figured my tax relief was 40% and theirs was only basic rate so wasn’t sure of the point. We are married so everything would be 50/50 if we split and I’m unlikely to be anything other than paying tax at the basic rate when I am a pensioner.

I put in £240 per month - I used to put the child benefit towards it

I'm sure if a miracle job shows up working 9.30-2.30 Monday-Friday in my small town so I don't need to commute then sure I would happily take that on when the kids are of school age but I feel like that may be like finding a needle in a haystack and would still involve me doing most of the household work due to being part time.

Wrap around care is expensive and makes working full time financially not appealing. Add in not wanting the kids in wrap around care then a full time job is emotionally and financially unappealing.

Wow. We couldn't afford to do anywhere near this. My partner only does 4% in his as it is!

Most of my child benefit goes into the kids S&S ISA. £240 per month into your pension is incredible though.

If he can only afford 4% into his own pension, with a plan for 3 children….then frankly you can’t afford not to work…

Bit to answer your question, he should
pay in the same as he pays into is own as a minimum.

Are you sure that you can afford to be a SAHP? Your partner earns less than me, and there’s no way that could comfortably support another person on my salary. Plus 1k per month debt payments on top?!

His pension contributions of 4% are already way too low. I don’t know how he can consider paying someone else’s pension as well.

You pay up to the limit that Hmrc set where they contribute a portion even though you are not a taxpayer. After that, your husband increases his portion in order to gain the tax advantage.

it doesn’t make sense not to take the tax advantage.

pensions are a marital asset on divorce.

I wouldn't be any better off working full time as I am now working my 2 night shifts we don't like the current set up as it means qe never see eachother or have a day as a family and unfortunately when my partner gets his next promotion my night shifts wont be feasible so unless I can find a job that is 9.30-2.30 on 3 specific weekdays in my tiny town which pays above minimum wage to make us eligible for the free nursery hours. Then I will have to give up even my part time job in the next couple of years anyway.

Thank you for the opinion regarding pension contribution. We cant afford what hes putting into his so perhaps I will suggest the £80 I would be putting in if I was working full time.

We aren't 100% sure what he could afford to put into my pension which is why we thought we would ask whats fair on here.

My current part time job means we never see eachother or have time as a family so we aren't keen to continue. Ontop of this he is aiming for his next step up at work and this would make me unable to work my shifts anymore so I would have to quit in the next couple of years anyway so we needed the advise regarding pensions whether its in a year when I am back at work or in 2 years when I have to quit.

There’s lots of remote work from
home jobs now OP. Perhaps you can consider refreshing your skills into a different line of work that gives you more options long term and more financial security.

They all seem tobe full time and require experience but I am keeping an eye out.

From my perspective (and apologies if this is blunt), as a couple you can't afford to be a SAHP.

You mention needing to be fully SAHP for entire primary years. I really don't see that's necessary at all. Even at min wage, a job would cover wraparound costs, which are actually significantly cheaper than nursery/pre-school. If you were open to FT work, you'd be more likely to be able to find a remote WFH role, and with that typically comes flexibility and less costs - for example: no commute, so morning school run becomes possible for example - and removes the need for breakfast club. Have you actually looked at wraparound costs, plus the support that may be available to pay for that (e.g., using tax free childcare scheme to pay some of it) and then assessed if working actually is more beneficial?

I know you say you need to be there with the kids and no amount of money will be worth missing time with them. But, to be frank, that's a luxury you don't seem able to afford (and the reason why its more common for 2 parent working households). They will also be at school for most hours of the day anyway - you're sacrificing financial security both now and in the future (pensions, savings) to spend time with children who aren't even home 6 hours out of the 8 hour working day.

Your husband's pension contributions currently are very very low for someone working full time. Contributing £80/month to your pension separately is absolutely tiny. I just feel that with that information alone it seems being a SAHP isn't truly affordable for you as you have barely any wiggle room in monthly finances.

ETA - I've worked 4days and FT for past 10yrs of parenting. I've never missed an xmas play, sports day, celebration assembly etc.

As mentioned above, you need to work I think. Being at home isn't a smart move at all - both financially and for your development.

Kids need to see their parents working IMO.

Thanks for such a long reply this morning.

I could work a full time minimum wage job but just the wrap around and holiday costs alone would mean I earn about the same as I do working my part time night shifts. I will have to quit the night shifts in a minimum of 2-3 years time anyway but I would prefer to not go back after Mat leave due to us never seeing eachother or having time as a family.

I have a minimum of 4-5 years before youngest is in school (if we don't have a third) and from what I have seen remote jobs are generally full time (how are you meant to do school runs unless you are lying to your employer and skiving off plus then trying to carry on working with young kids in the house?)

I am interested to know how you can guarantee being able to get time off for christmas plays, sports days. Celebration assemblies. Not to mention sickness.

I don't personally agree kids NEED to see their parents working.

If I can find a non commuting job 9.30-2.30 3 days a week I will happily work whilst the kids are in nursery.

To attend school events I use a mix of: annual leave (1/2day), shuffling hours (taking an hour to attend an assembly means I log on in the evening for an extra hour or in the morning early, using lunchbreak hour etc. I work in corporate, but have friends in NHS, teachers, charities, social work etc. and we all manage to flex somehow. DH is a teacher and whilst he has missed a few school events for DCs (as I was going anyway, so no need for us both every time) he is often able to arrange in advance to have cover in class so he can come along to the sports day etc.

Sick days we juggle between us. It is what it is, and parents have the right to time off for emergencies to care for sick kids. Every family has this issue and manages somehow.

I work hybrid - WFH 3-4 days per week, and commute about an hour to the office on others. I don't lie to my employer at all and don't double up working and childcare. When WFH I'm able to do school drop off in the morning and still be home for 9am start time (school is short walk and starts 8:45am). On office days, they get booked into breakfast club from 8am so I can commute and arrive on time. After school the kids go to ASC or after-school sports until 5:30pm, and once a week my parents collect them.