Partner says he hates fatherhood and I think this is the end

[FlutterByeBye1]

Partner and I have been together almost 10 years, we have 2 DC together, 4 & 10 months. They are a lot of work, as all small children are. DP is constantly saying he hates being a dad, even in front of DC, constantly moody and stroppy, snapping at our 4yo. Today was the last straw. This week our youngest has been in hospital for 5 days, I stayed with the baby, eldest stopped with grandparents, all came home in time for Easter Sunday, today DP told me everything was fine until we all came home. I know this is now the end of our relationship, I feel like I am constantly treading on eggshells and I don’t want that for our DC. Not sure why I’m posting, maybe for solidarity and practical steps moving forward. Feeling like this is really the end.

Thanks for the update @FlutterByeBye1, I hope your LO is on the mend. Sending you strength and best wishes.

Thinking of you OP
I hope baby is better soon x

All children deserve to feel wanted and adored by their parents. It’s the cornerstone of childhood security.

I’d be getting them away from him asap before he wrecks their mental health.

This sounds like the most sensible plan, it’s very sad for your children. You sound sensible and have saved enough to buy, good luck definitely not easy.

Just a little update for anyone who is still around, it’s the first night in our new little home for the three of us. It’s been a whirlwind couple of months and I’ve often doubted whether I was doing the right thing for my lovely babies but sitting here now, I know I have.
I want to thank everyone who gave me support on this thread, it gave me the courage to finally leave and make a better life for us.
I feel scared but excited in equal measure but here’s to new beginnings :)

Glad to hear it OP. Hope both the little ones are well. And wish you all the best. I think it’s incredibly brave what you have done.

Life has to be better for you all now. Best of luck. x

That’s amazing @FlutterByeBye1
you have been so strong and brave.
wishing you all lots of love and laughter in your new home.

What a fabulous update! Congrats OP 👏

Well done you.

Ah well done to you and your new beginning. Daunting I am sure but sounds like you know it is right.

Congratulations OP. Your little ones are so lucky to have such a brave, selfless Mum. Good luck in your new home xx

Thanks all :) my mum said she admired me for finally leaving and it almost broke me. Things are still rocky with contact arrangements and such but it’s early days

Congratulations! A tough decision particularly with a baby.
I left my husband of 20 years last year due to addiction and mental health (I have a 4 yr old and a 19 year old )now. Best decision I ever made!! money is tight, it is certainly hard but my goodness the home is happier and I feel more peaceful and positive !
how has the last few months been did he make life very difficult for you ?
wishing your little family all the very best in your new and bright future x

Oh I missed this first time around. I hope your DD is better now. Wishing you the best of luck your ex is a dick!

Well done. Make sure you have all the CMS and council tax discount and everything else to help you. All the best of luck.

Your DM is completely right to admire you. I would be extremely proud too 💐

Massive Kudos to you, I’m glad you’ve found peace.
It has been quite a rough few months. My Lo is over the worst of her illness but it was hard navigating returning to work after maternity leave with juggling her appointments. Moved back with my parents for a while. Ex at first said he didn’t care if we left, then started picking faults with every aspect of my looks and personality, I felt like a shell of my old self for a while. He has committed to having the DC every other weekend for now but he also said he would rather move abroad than give me a penny so I’m expecting him to drop off the face of the earth shortly. I’ll stop before I start rambling. Best of luck for the future to you x

Brilliant work - wishing you all the happiness you deserve with your babies and your new home! 💕

Well done on getting away.

Given his threats about moving abroad make sure you have the children's passports and if you think he might try and take them out of the county to spite you then don't hesitate to contact the police to put out an all ports warning.

OP get an application in for child maintenance asap, especially as he's said he's not willing to give you a penny!

At least they will be able to keep track of him through his NI and PAYE if he continues to work in the UK, and if he moves abroad the arrears will stack up and stop him being able to return to the UK?

Having 100% peace with zero contact would actually be a blessing for you as you won't need to worry about what he says to the kids when he has them.

Move abroad you say? Great off you fuck then!!

You’ll be fine on your own. Stay strong and don’t let him get to you.

I get the impression the very last thing he wants is to take the kids!!

Oh well done ... just well done! A happier life beckons ...

Glad to read you and he are now apart.

If he is that bothered about his children he could see them instead in a contact centre rather than every other weekend. Doubtless he’ll get bored with this arrangement soon enough.

Again this manchild does not realise or even care that money from him in maintenance payments is for his children. I would therefore submit a Cms claim asap. For him it’s still about getting back at you and or punishing you. Such men hate women too, all of them.