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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Partner says he hates fatherhood and I think this is the end

79 replies

FlutterByeBye1 · 06/04/2026 20:30

Partner and I have been together almost 10 years, we have 2 DC together, 4 & 10 months. They are a lot of work, as all small children are. DP is constantly saying he hates being a dad, even in front of DC, constantly moody and stroppy, snapping at our 4yo. Today was the last straw. This week our youngest has been in hospital for 5 days, I stayed with the baby, eldest stopped with grandparents, all came home in time for Easter Sunday, today DP told me everything was fine until we all came home. I know this is now the end of our relationship, I feel like I am constantly treading on eggshells and I don’t want that for our DC. Not sure why I’m posting, maybe for solidarity and practical steps moving forward. Feeling like this is really the end.

OP posts:

ThePoshUns · 11/04/2026 08:32

Thanks for the update @FlutterByeBye1, I hope your LO is on the mend. Sending you strength and best wishes.

Epp1 · 12/04/2026 11:00

Thinking of you OP
I hope baby is better soon x

CarolinaLiar · 12/04/2026 11:04

All children deserve to feel wanted and adored by their parents. It’s the cornerstone of childhood security.

I’d be getting them away from him asap before he wrecks their mental health.

Farmwifefarmlife · 12/04/2026 12:09

FlutterByeBye1 · 06/04/2026 21:54

To answer a few questions:
The house is owned solely by DP, he bought before we met and I moved in, although I have a considerable savings pot now which we intended to use for a deposit toward our “forever home”.
Eldest stayed with GP so P could theoretically be with us in hospital as much as possible as the baby was really quite poorly, I doubt his parents knew he wasn’t actually there with us.
I think I would actually prefer him to go NC with our DC, I wouldn’t have to worry about what toll he would be taking on their wellbeing then.
I think first steps, find us a new home, likely nearer to my parents so new school application for my eldest , new nursery place for my youngest. Lay the groundwork before starting fresh.

Edited

This sounds like the most sensible plan, it’s very sad for your children. You sound sensible and have saved enough to buy, good luck definitely not easy.

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