Worried about daughter’s boyfriend and lack of contact or replies

[Craftyclaws04]

Hi, my daughter has been seeing this guy for around 10 months. He picks her up on a Friday and go to his house, then he drops her off Saturday night because my daughter likes to go to church Sunday morning.They live around 20 miles away from eachother and she doesn't drive. I have only met him twice so far, and he barely spoke to me. My daughter sent me a message from his phone a week ago, telling me her phone had broken and to contact me through his messenger account to which I replied to. I sent him a message last night and he's not replied, and it states 'message request'above it. I don't have a good feeling about him, but my daughter would defend him if I mentioned something to her. Any advice please?

This would send alarm bells to me. How would you know it's your daughter who is messaging you and not him. I would go and visit her, get her phone fixed, whatever it took so that you were in direct contact with her and not him.

I also think you should maybe go round there to check on her. Do you have phone numbers for any of her friends?

Have you not had any contact with your DD for a week? I take it she usually lives with you.

You should definitely go there and check she is ok, speak to her, away from him. I would ask police for a welfare check if you don't get to see her. Anyone can pretend to be anybody on a text

has she dissapeared for a week? i would be ringing the police, do you have his address?

Your post is a bit ambiguous OP, I've reread it and it's not clear if your DD just sees you on sundays and lives elsewhere. Either way I'd feel extremely concerned and be checking up on her today.

You need to go round. When did you last see/speak to her (on her own phone)?

Is she actually with him today! Your post says the see eachother on Friday and Saturday?

How old is your daughter and where does she live, if not with you?

No she came home as usual. But I get the feeling something isn't right.

Does your DD live with you? How old is she?
Does she go to college/work? If you’re worried she’s missing you could check she has turned up there. Also you mentioned church, did she go yesterday?
If you’re more generally worried about the boyfriend, yes this does ring alarm bells - again depending on her age there isn’t much you can do apart from letting her know you’re there for her and try and keep meeting up with her without him to check she is ok

I would like to add that she does come home every Saturday night. She only sees him at weekends.

My daughter sent me a message from his phone a week ago, telling me her phone had broken and to contact me through his messenger account to which I replied to. I sent him a message last night and he's not replied.

I don't understand? So your daughter is at your house currently? Yet you are messaging her boyfriend? About what? And surely you've spoken to her since her phone broke a week ago?

So when did you text him and why?
Wouldn’t he have been busy driving your DD home and not on his phone?
Why doesn’t your DD get her phone fixed?

It doesn’t appear like you have really a reason to be concerned and posting online about your daughters relationship, unless you’re going to turn around with some pretty massive additions to the story.

If it says message request, it hasn’t gone to his inbox, it’s gone to another folder. I only check that other folder maybe once a year, so I wouldn’t have seen it if I was the bf.

Like PPs I’m struggling to understand the fact pattern here, and why you are concerned about this bf if you know your daughter is safe. Have there been other red flags?

No, she comes home every Saturday night. I have seen her, but I've a feeling he's hiding something from me. He is reluctant to meet family members and now it looks like he's restricted me on messenger. He barely takes her out too, and didn't see her on her birthday or at Christmas or new year.

now it looks like he's restricted me on messenger.

You've only met him twice FFS! What are you messaging him for?!

Take her out for a walk to the shops or whatever and say (as you are walking)
"darling your happiness is so important to me and I want you to know you can tell me ANYTHING without judgement or negative reaction. It might be nothing but recently i have a strange but strong feeling something isnt quite right with you and I wanted to check you are okay. If anything is wrong you can tell me and I can either just listen or if you want i can help "

Why are you messaging him if its not to speak to your daughter?

Thats really quite odd OP, probably best you stay out of your daughters love life.

No, she came home as usual, it's the fact that he is reluctant about meeting me, barely takes her out and didn't see her at Christmas, on her birthday or new year. She said that he was tired and stressed because of work and he hates driving.

He gave her some pies as he doesn't like them and I just thanked him, so not it's not odd.

Edit: Cross posted

OP why are you ignoring everyone asking how old she is?

And why would he have spent Christmas and NY together when they'd only been together (I'm assuming) 6-7 months at that point?! I didn't spend Christmas or NY with DH until we were 2 years in!

That is odd OP.

She's in her 20's. I'm not ignoring anyone, but she falls for the wrong type.