We originally met for a hookup, but it turned into something deeper and we both caught feelings. However, he recently decided to step back. He asked me not to block him because he isn't sure if he wants a relationship right now. He got out of a long-term relationship just 3–4 months ago (about a month before meeting me) where he was cheated on, and he says he’s still hurting from that.
For the past two months, we spent a lot of time together. He initiated about 90% of the contact—texting me every day until 2 AM, asking to meet up every few days, being very affectionate, and making me feel like he wanted a real relationship. He told me he really loved me and enjoyed spending time with me.
The problem is, I found out he was still hooking up with other people 'just for fun' in the background. He claimed that what we had was much deeper, but when I asked him to stop seeing others, he resisted. He said being exclusive means being in an official relationship, which he isn't ready for but after asking he said he doesnt have clear explanation yet. I kept pushing for exclusivity, and two days ago, while we were hugging, he suddenly said, 'I don't know why we are doing this.' He decided to cut contact but again asked me not to block him anywhere - like he would like still to check what I am doing, when I am online on dating apps, I dont know - it seemed like that.
He has sent a lot of mixed signals. He used to get jealous, and one night after drinking, he told me he loves me, next time after drinking he was finally ready to be 'only for me.' But the next morning, he took it back, saying he only said it to make me happy and that he still needs time.
I am 27, and this is my first real experience with love. He is almost 25 and carries a lot of baggage from his past two relationships, both of which ended sadly for him. I know I should move on, but it's really hard right now. Because he initiated so much of our connection and kept giving me hope, a part of me is still waiting for him to decide. Will he reach out again when he figures things out?
I know he probably didn't do this maliciously, and maybe I am making excuses for him. I look at my own feelings—after dating for just two months, I know I won't be able to see anyone else for at least a month. He is also an expat and is very lonely here, with only a few friends in different towns. Sometimes I wonder if he used those casual hookups to drown out his feelings, but I don't know. Maybe I excuse him too much. Still, I actually appreciate that he found the strength to end it—at least for now—because I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. He is still online on some platforms looking for people for fun or just to write with them