Would you be annoyed if your partner lied like this?

[luluxxx]

So my partner is lazy
I do everything in our house
Washing ,cooking etc
He doesn’t even so much make a cup of tea.
I tell him all of the time he needs to pull his weight but falls on deaf ears.
Last night I told him again ,hoping for a change.
He said he would and this morning as we are out to the races today …he would make me breakfast in bed.
Woke up this morning,asked him to make me a cuppa and he said he couldn’t be bothered to do breakfast but he knows he’s lazy and he said “I’m sorry for being so lazy,I will give you £50 to treat yourself to a new top or something instead of making breakfast and to say sorry for how I’ve been lately.
So I said that’s fair enough
Got up ,made breakfast and said “oooh il see if I can find a nice top online for my girls night soon”
He replied “you would really take £50 off me for making breakfast ..wow…I was joking obviously”
”il make breakfast next weekend”

Would this bother you?
I feel stupid and a bit silly now

It would annoy me that he didn’t do anything. The £50 I could take as a joke. Do you make him breakfast/ tea? I wouldn’t be doing anything for him if he didn’t do anything to me. Tbh I wouldn’t be with someone like this though, so wouldn’t be having these arguments.

What kind of life is a person able to build with a lazy, inconsiderate liar? Not a very good one.
My advice would be to leave him, his behaviour will deteriorate further.
Good luck.

What a lazy bum. No way would I contemplate life with a man like this.

Time to down tools for him op. Make yourself breakfast, lunch and tea, wash your own clothes and then start making plans to leave

Let me flip the script for you, and I mean this kindly:
i chose to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t contribute to our household. I choose to stay in a relationship with someone who treats me like a maid. I choose to stay in a relationship with someone who does not value my labour. I choose to stay in a relationship with someone who belittles me when I raise valid concerns. I choose to clean, cook and care for someone who does not reciprocate in any way.

Why do you think you’re continuing to make these these choices? This is something you have power over. No one can do anything to you more than once unless you allow it.

Whose name is on the house because if it's yours then kick him out until he's learnt to be a fully functioning adult (ps that will never happen).

You are worth so much more than this. Does he even pay his fair share of the bills or is that down to you as well?

I just couldn’t with this bullshit - is he a child ? Do you find this attractive in a partner ? Im pretty sure my vagina just shrivelled up and died after reading this

Op He’s a selfish twat he humiliated you. Tell him you will make your own breakfast from now on and he can do his own and his washing etc. he’s a loser.

Oh I'm sorry OP. I'd be offering him £50 to GTF out of there and never come back.

Yes it would annoy me and yes I’d be planning my exit. He’s shown very clearly who he is. And he doesn’t seem to like you.

Your life would clearly be a lot better without him in it

Why are still with a partner knowing how lazy he is and happy to make you do everything?
Madness!
This is on you for still being around! Move on and be happy with someone that isn't selfish.

Take the money and run 😏

That’s a nasty thing to do and I think he knew it.

Why are you with him ? He is so unattractive
imagine if you had kids !!!

As lots of other posters have said get a new one. This one is never going to change unless you do something different, and that will take effort and conflict. He just doesn’t value you.

You are his maid (with benefits) and you deserve someone who respects and cares about you enough to make the effort.

Personally I’d just find another partner as there is no way I’d find this level of laziness attractive or tolerable. Imagine your future. Will you be happy if your life goes on as it is now?

How does he show love, caring and respect? You told him what you need and his response has been 😂😂not likely.

The only thing you're doing wrong is expecting him to change. He's shown you who he is.

Whose name is the house in?

OMG dump him! And get that £50, lazy fucker. Don’t put up with it, he’ll never change no matter how much you nag

I think the ‘find another man’ comments are bad advice tbh.

Yrs dump this loser but stay single until you’ve worked in your self esteem and raised your bar to not accept being treated like this again.

Id say do the freedom programme before you look at another man

So you're married to a lazy liar who likes to make you look stupid. Do you want to tell us why you're still with him, because it's not looking that great so far.

OP I just wanted to give you a random internet hug. I was there for a long time with my husband. It didn't seem so bad a first and he always had an excuse and then he said he'd make it up to me. Then he said that i was always snippy and it gave him anxiety. It was just so crazy making I couldn't see what was going on or how bad it was. Then one day my brain snapped and I exploded into anger. I didn't deserve his shoddy treatment. We care currently separated.

I wouldn't recommend sticking at it as long as I did. I also wouldn't recommend being a ball of rage either. But I just wanted to say that you are worth more than this. You can do better on your own and this is no way to live.

Please tell me you didn’t make his breakfast OP.

Also it is not unreasonable to expect so much as a cup of tea. He certainly should be giving you the 50 pounds.

I wouldn’t have accepted the £50 - it’s very telling that he thinks money if a fair exchange for time, care, attention and quite frankly basic adulting. He doesn’t love or respect you and sees you in the same way he views a professional cleaner, cook, housekeeper - except he’s not even paying you!!

It’s not a relationship, let alone a partnership. Up to you whether this is what you will accept - you know that if you stay it’s on his terms only and you will not get anything out of the relationship other than your one-sided love and care for him.

I wouldn’t stay personally- he’s shown you who he is. But if you do stay, it’s in your power to rebalance the division of labour. At least stop volunteering your services for his benefit - cook solo meals just for you, do only your own laundry, and only clean/ tidy to the extent you can bear to live in the house. No birthday treats for him, no organising his calendar/ arranging presents/ gifts for his family. And you’ll need to lower your expectations and accept he won’t step up for you but he just might step up for himself (if you force him to), which will lower your household burden just a little.

Quite frankly though, no man is worth this aggravation.

Just the tip of the iceberg by the sounds of it. He sounds really unpleasant - what a way to treat someone.