36 weeks pregnant & OH suddenly turning cold

[Mslongears]

I'm almost 37 weeks and recently my OH has become extremely disinterested in the pregnancy and the relationship in general.
We already have a young son who he's great with, but he keeps saying how I don't do enough around the home, or for him. I do his washing, cooking (when he's home for dinner). I do all of the cleaning, appointments etc. He's started going out drinking which he hasn't done since before we got together. He doesn't get blind drunk and is home by midnight, but it's that sudden change which has bothered me a little bit especially as we haven't been out together in years. When I express this, he says how I'm "free to go out whenever I want", but obviously I don't exactly feel up for going out on my own late at night at this point!! Nor do I ever get the time to. Last night before he went out he was acting so nice, perhaps a bit too nice. He was saying how we could have a family day today, which is something we very rarely do. But then ended up leaving first thing this morning to finish off some work stuff. He didn't come back until 5pm when he said how I need to change, how I need to "get off my ass", all while I was making him dinner. I spend the whole day cleaning, looking after our toddler and it seems he's expecting me to get a full time job alongside it before he'd stop thinking I'm lazy. This is very out of character for him, but he has been through some major stress recently and may be depressed, although he'd never admit to it. I've been considering staying at a hotel for a few nights without contacting him to give him space to see if that helps, but I worry I may go into labour any time soon, as I previously went at 37 weeks. I've just recieved a text from him saying "something needs to change. I'm not carrying on like this anymore. You need to find somewhere else to live". All out of nowhere. I can't think of what I've done wrong, I try so hard to be the best mother and partner I can be I hardly ever have time to focus on myself. I never, ever put myself first. My heart is breaking because I feel so unappreciated and severely burnt out. I'm absolutely dreading having a baby now and I feel myself slipping away

Yes, but he can't just kick her out right now. People have rights over where they ordinarily reside. He would need to get a court order to get her out, and given that she's 37 weeks pregnant, it's highly unlikely to be granted. It's true that she doesn't have the same rights over the house as a wife, but equally, he cannot just make his heavily pregnant partner homeless on a whim. There are laws against that sort of thing. If he wants her gone, fine, but it has to be organised properly, and it takes time.

OP, please see a lawyer and social services immediately.

He can just kick her out. That’s why people should get married if they are not on the deeds of a property or on the tenancy agreement.

The Op has no rights to remain in the property That’s the sad truth. I am a solicitor

Is there no immediate law/provision that would protect the OP, given her situation?
I don't know much about these things, plus I'm not British by origin.

Unfortunately no. It’s his house, they aren’t married, if he doesn’t want her there then she has to leave.

The benefit, if you can call it that, is that being made homeless at 37 weeks pregnant with a toddler would have you at the top of the list for housing but at least in my area it wouldn’t be a house but rather a shared flat or hotel room as emergency accommodation until they can get you something more permanent, again unlikely to be a house where we are but certainly a flat.

To get the kind of protection you are talking about you either need to be married, partly own the house, or be an actual tenant with a formal tenancy agreement and therefore protected that way.

If they aren't married, if her name isn't on the mortgage /deeds/tenancy then she has no right to remain in the property
At present, if that is the case, her partner has given her a licence to occupy while he wants her to reside there. If he withdraws that right, then to all intents and purposes she becomes a trespasser. She loses the right to reside there. That's the legal position. It's why marriage isn't 'just a piece of paper', it confers rights and responsibilities.

Yet another revolting man treating the mother of his children like a doormat. Honestly I despair. OP you deserve so much better.

No. Her legal status is that she has a licence to remain in the property. This gives her no legal protection. It can be ended with no notice

You have a right to live in a property because;

You own it ( you are on the deeds. Not on the mortgage which is a debt)

You are a spouse of or in a civil partnership with the property owner ( I’m not up on this )

It is brutal . The OP is entitled to maintenance for the children. That’s it

He sounds a right charmer.
I agree with others that it sounds like there is OW waiting in the wings.

Could it be that he's just terrified of responsibility?

This is abuse, plain and simple. It’s well known that abuse can start/ramp up during pregnancy and frankly, I’m very worried for you. No man should be threatening the mother of his children with homelessness in the final weeks of her pregnancy, much less seemingly without any cause (although alarm bells are going off in my head saying that he’s met someone else and is in up to his neck as he’s disappearing for hours/evening/days on end).

Do you have anybody in real life you can speak to? Please do, tonight if possible. Tbh if you’ve got supportive parents or a sibling or a close friend I’d want you and your toddler with a bag packed and at their house. Your midwife is a source of support too, but there’s also a few organisations you can ring if you don’t have anyone in real life, but even if do you they can help you leave this wanker and get what you and the children need to be looked after and safe.

Please keep you and the kids safe. This is a really vulnerable time for you and this man sounds dangerous and cruel.

National Domestic Abuse Helpline
Women’s Aid
Refuge

Good luck and stay safe.

Whatever happens OP, DO NOT MOVE OUT!!!
Even if you're not married and he owns the house, you will have rights. Can you get to a solicitor in the next day or so?
You are heavily pregnant, what a complete and utter cunt of the highest order.
He's clearly checked out of the relationship or got another woman involved.
Do not allow him to set a precedent of childcare either for your son by making you homeless and him caring for him as he'll be doing this to try and avoid paying you maintenance!

What an arsehole you married. Tell your midwife. Tell anyone who will listen. Call citizens advice and ask for numbers of women's services. Source a family law solicitor. Prepare to be a single parent. Unless you have zero rights to the house be careful about leaving. He probably wants to move another woman in. Sorry OP. Bad situation.

She has no legal right to stay.

Please see my previous posts. I wish women were taught this stuff in school !

Please, can you stop giving faulty advice. If they aren't married, don't hold a joint tenancy or her name isn't on the deeds, then she has no right to stay if he asks her to leave. As I said up thread, being married offers legal protection. It's not just a piece of paper.

I know she can't remain indefinitely, but are you saying that it's legal for him to kick his heavily pregnant partner onto the street with five minutes' notice? Surely not. There is another child in the mix, too.

You are heavily pregnant and this is abusive behaviour OP he is treating you really badly you need to reach out and get help from wherever you can you age really vulnerable and unfortunately it’s quite common for men to treat women this during pregnancy. Please speak to your midwife about what he is saying to you especially about having to find somewhere else to live, speak to women’s aid and reach out to your family or friends for some support.

Yes it's very legal. Her pregnancy provides zero protection.

You are wrong!
Yes she doesn't have legal rights to the property if not on the deeds or married but she can apply to the courts if children are involved and she would have nowhere else to live. The law is changing to help protect vulnerable women. If he becomes abusive then she will have even more rights even if it isn't her house.
OP needs to get legal advice immediately!

Yes. Sadly. Marriage protects women against arseholes like this

She doesn't have legal rights to the property if not on the deeds or married but she can apply to the courts if children are involved and she would have nowhere else to live. The law is changing to help protect vulnerable women. If he becomes abusive then she will have even more rights even if it isn't her house.OP needs to get legal advice immediately!
Her partner however cannot turf her out on the streets with no notice, he has to follow correct legal procedures which will take him a lot of time and money to enforce properly thus biding her time to get herself sorted.

What would she be applying to the Court for?

She is only allowed to stay while he gives her permission that is the legal situation. It's the same as being a lodger. A lodger is permitted to stay in the landlord's home while they are given permission to do so. The resident landlord doesn't have to obtain a possession order, but merely has to tell the lodger to go. Clearly giving a reasonable period of time is better, but in certain circumstances immediate notice may be given. The landlord can also change the locks. So landlord tells lodger to go in 7 days, after the 7 days locks can be changed.

This is true. He owns it/is on the tenancy not her. She's there until he says she can't be, the courts can't do anything about that.

Even with kids?

@Notasbigasithink This is what I thought, too, but there are lawyers on here saying the opposite.

Yes. She can apply for maintenance for the children under the Children Act. That’s the only legal right she has in this