Less than 2% of people marry their childhood sweetheart

[LillyP88]

… according to Google! Do we think this is true? Has anyone come across the studies that these articles refer to? I suppose some couples choose not to marry so whilst they are in a long-term committed relationship, that wouldn’t count towards the data here.

Me and my DH are childhood sweethearts which was what sparked our conversation. We have a few friends who are still together too so I was a bit surprised the figures suggest it’s less than 2%!

I have a very soft spot for my sixth form (and first) boyfriend. God he was the kindest, funniest, most loving man ever.

But I am an emotional fuck up. I destroyed him at 18 by buggering off with someone far more exciting.

He's very happy with his family now. I am going through shit with the alcoholic i chose to marry.

At "childhood sweetheart" age, you are too young. Only chance makes it work.

It’s strange that people seem to have a complete view of being against ‘childhood sweethearts’ ending up together and thinking they are somehow missing out.

just because one way of life seems to fit for you it doesn’t mean others don’t find someone they love young and continue to love them the rest of their lives. They shouldn’t break up just because some people on Mumsnet think they need to?

I also think to our grandparents generation and my grandparents also met very young and went on to me married until death at 69 and 82. My grandad didn’t move on at all after my grandmothers death and stayed heartbroken.
they lasted because they are from a generation where you worked at your love and didn’t just jump ship straight away.

I married my sixth form boyfriend.

We weren't settling - he was the most amazing bloke I've ever met then and a I still feel the same now. Nor were we scared of change, we've lived all over the world, both had two careers and have run a business together.

Certainly not arrested development either. We've both grown and changed together over the last 40 years. We've learned and explored and suffered life together. We don't sit around talking about school or reading comics.

Just think, if we didn’t marry our childhood sweethearts we could have become the personification of happiness displayed on this thread…because clearly people spouting bitterness and ignorance are entirely content with their own lives…

Nobody in my year at school married a childhood sweetheart, but I know several young couples (in their early twenties) who met at school and are now married. For some reason it seems more common these days. My generation (Gen X) wouldn't have dreamed of it.

I know childhood sweethearts who married decades and decades ago. Now they are 60 they just divorced. The man is beyond broken and doesn’t understand.

I know childhood sweethearts who married decades and decades ago. Now they are 60 they just divorced. The man is beyond broken and doesn’t understand.

I would imagine you’re the anomaly. Most who marry young don’t tend to go to uni or move away. We all know the people who still behave like they’re in school - hanging at the same pubs, same people. When I see them on social media I want to die inside!

I know three couples who met under 18 .

One was setting themseleve up to ahve kids early in life and got hit with fertilty problems and in end didnlt become parents and pivoted their life goals. Still together vey late 40s.

Another she left edcuational A-level went into work place and married a local farmer they had three kids still together.

Couple I met at uni - they went to seperate univeristies but weet back home to family and started their careers - he now a HT - 2 kids. I think they were unusal as uni seem to break most couples up.

I met DH at 18 at uni - he was two year older and we spent 8 years in different locations for education and work but still together and still toegether happy enough in late 40 early 50s.

I think these days uni and work moves people around more than in the past and we all settled down later than in the past due to economics - there also a zeitgeist idea on delayed adulthood ie not settling down to early or have kids too young being a desirable thing.

I also think to our grandparents generation and my grandparents also met very young and went on to me married until death at 69 and 82. My grandad didn’t move on at all after my grandmothers death and stayed heartbroken.
they lasted because they are from a generation where you worked at your love and didn’t just jump ship straight away.

@pinksheetss that’s disingenuous. People often stayed together because there was no other option. Divorce was frowned upon but, more importantly, women usually didn’t work, they didn’t have their own money, how could they leave? Even if their husbands were abusive/ cheated/ they just didn’t love them anymore. Women were stuck more often than not. Thank god times have changed.

I also think to our grandparents generation and my grandparents also met very young and went on to me married until death at 69 and 82. My grandad didn’t move on at all after my grandmothers death and stayed heartbroken.
they lasted because they are from a generation where you worked at your love and didn’t just jump ship straight away.

@pinksheetss that’s disingenuous. People often stayed together because there was no other option. Divorce was frowned upon but, more importantly, women usually didn’t work, they didn’t have their own money, how could they leave? Even if their husbands were abusive/ cheated/ they just didn’t love them anymore. Women were stuck more often than not. Thank god times have changed.

Let's be real, they lasted because they were from a generation where women couldn't own property or have a bank account.

Do university couples count? I met DH aged 18 at uni (he was 21, in his third year), at least two of his school friends also married the gfs they met at uni, and another couple who got together at 16 got married 20 years later (they’ve now been together 30 years!).

I'm in my 60s. I only know 3 couples who met as teens who are still together (all 50s or 60s now). One couple never actually married, one married due to pregnancy as teenagers and the other couple married about 8 years into their relationship. The vast majority of couples I know who are still together in their first marriage met in their mid to late 20s or 30s.

Jesus 🤣.

I met my husband when I was 16. He was two years above me at school. I met him at a local punk concert. I was with the people in my year (4th) and he was in the people in his (6th).

I had, and never still have, seen a boy as handsome as he was and is.

He chatted up my friend and I was gutted!

Then he asked me out. I went out with him but wasn’t ready to commit.

So I basically mucked him around for two years, he obviously went “fuck this” and fell out with me.

Then I met him again in a “disco”, when I was 18 and that was it. I was, at the time, going out with a boy and had another one on the side.

Dumped them both, went back with him and we have now been together for 43 years and he can still take my breath away when he walks into a room, plus he’s as funny as fuck, the cleverest person I know and the best husband and dad on the planet.

My youngest son just got engaged to his childhood sweetheart- they’ve been together since they were at school, bought a house together when they were 23 and they are delighted with each other.

We bought our house when we were 23 also and, believe it or not, I had my own bank account and we own our house together! 🤣.

We both retired when we were 60. We’re now 63 and 62 and I have had the happiest life with him.

Owning our house and having bank accounts.

Some of the posts in this thread are hilariously weird!

Again, incorrect. I didnt do Univeristy but i did 3rd level.
We moved around a lot. Dont drink in the same pubs, have friends all over the world.
Travelled a lot. Run a business together. Have separate hobbies. Fantastic sex life.
Happy kids. Been broke as fuck, now have more money we cld spend in 5 lifetimes.
Its an absolute blast, the life we share.
40 years since i met him next month.
Off on hols to the place we got married 25 years ago and we cannot wait.
Its an absolute joy.

It's probably already been mentioned in the thread but one reason why it's probably not as common as it used to be as people are a lot more likely to move away when they get older whereas a few generations ago, it was more common to spend your entire life in the same area.

DH and I have known each other since we were ten, we went to school together. However, we didn't go out with each other until we were in our twenties. I think this has worked better because we each had a life beforehand so the grass didn't suddenly look greener when we hit middle-age, but we have all the same references and shared memories due to the fact we grew up together.

I would have been astonished if it were as much as 2% tbh!

Why do you want to die inside? Genuinely why do you care about people you see on social media but clearly don't like? It might not be the life you would chose but they are happy and it's really nothing to do with you
Do you not think you are perhaps the one who needs to get a bit of a life? Do you think these people you are judging have even thought about in years?

What I always think is bizarre on these threads is how many people associate your relationship status with life experience/personality/development. How key some posters see being in or not being in a relationship. There's so much more more life than just being in a relationship and dating, and how some posters can't imagine doing things while being in relationship?! How depressing are their relationships that they can't imagine travelling or growing as a person unless your single?

Obviously if you marry your childhood sweetheart you miss out on dating, but other than that being in a relationship doesn't impact any other life experience

Me and DH have been together since 16, we've both been to different universities, got masters degrees. Travelled (seperately and together). We've moved all over the country, lived with friends, alone and now together and we currently don't live anywhere near our small town. We've both developed our careers. I love my DH, he's an amazing man but being together isn't a key part of my personailty, and spending time with my DH isn't the only thing I've done since I was 16!

Well then you're obviously not of our grandparents generation are you? As the post I was referring to.

You said a generic “they”.

The three posts above mine were all discussing

they lasted because they are from a generation where you worked at your love and didn’t just jump ship straight away.

Obviously if you are able to have a bank account and own property then my post wasn't referring to you...