Less than 2% of people marry their childhood sweetheart

[LillyP88]

… according to Google! Do we think this is true? Has anyone come across the studies that these articles refer to? I suppose some couples choose not to marry so whilst they are in a long-term committed relationship, that wouldn’t count towards the data here.

Me and my DH are childhood sweethearts which was what sparked our conversation. We have a few friends who are still together too so I was a bit surprised the figures suggest it’s less than 2%!

My brother and his 5th form girlfriend were broken up by her father as he thought they were ‘too intense “. Two failed marriages each behind them, they met decades later by chance, not living anywhere near each other and with no mutual connections, and have been incredibly happy for the past 15 years. They are so well suited and very much in love - who knows what would have happened if they hadn’t been parted then ? : could easily have fallen apart during 6th firm, the uni days or the ups and downs of family life or it could have been a lifelong relationship.

I also fail to see what’s sad about having a local life if two people are happy? I get the feeling people need to validate their own choices by saying others chose wrong.

I think this can work well for a relatively small number of people and it can be lovely but I don’t particularly see it as something to aspire to. We have such good opportunities to change and grow in our late teens/20s. Successful childhood sweethearts grow together but it’s not a given that that will happen.

And it’s quite fair and natural to want to experience a relationship with more than one person as part of working out what works for you and what doesn’t before settling down.

My first love was a wonderful guy and we were together nearly 3 years from 16-19 but we were drifting apart before we split. I know a number of people who now consider themselves to have stayed with their first partners too long including a couple of friends who went through with marriages they no longer wanted before realising they had to walk away.

I met DH at 16 him 17 we are in our 60s now we don't feel at all that we have missed out on anything.

I did but divorced 18 years later. My parents and my DB also did, DB and DSis still going strong over 30 years later. My DS is likely to as well.
There’s nothing wrong with it if you communicate and accept that people change over time and you either change with them or separate. I did the latter.

I suppose it depends on the life that you lead.

My grandparents met very young and were happily married for nearly 50 years. Other than the war they both stayed in the area that they grew up in.

One of my sisters met her (now) DH early in secondary school. They have been married for 15+ years and are sort of happy. My DSis went to a local university, as did her DH so both lived at home. I say ‘sort of’ happy because they still have fun together and have date nights etc, but a lot of the time she walks on eggshells around him. They are in a similar career but hers has flourished while he is still in the same role. He is not supportive. Really, she should leave but she has never known anything else.

When I went to University, most people that I knew split up with their school girlfriends/boyfriends as their lives were different. Similarly when we left University, a lot of Uni relationships ended after a few years of working life.

As we experience life we develop different aspects of ourselves. I was quite different in my late 20s / early 30s, when I met my DH, to the girl I had been in my teens. We would not have been interested in each other at school but definitely were some years later.

This is such a strange set of assumptions to make.

My DH and I have been together since school, but we left our home town, lived separately during the university years, pursued our own academic and career goals, travelled, lived in new places, have the life we want, and have done it while being supported by the person we loved and trusted most.

What’s to feel sad about?

My parents met at 17 and have been married for over 50 years. My parents are also the opposite of living a "little local life". When I was a child my parents' favourite hobby was moving house and working overseas. They were gutted to have missed out on a work opportunity in Kenya of all places. Now they just jet set around the world on their final salary pension. I'm the one with a little local life.

Wtf? Local life? Arrested development?

Meeting your life partner young does NOT equate to the above.

I married my first boyfriend and we're still together 27yrs later. I also went to university, did several post-grad degrees, have a good professional job, travel, have lived across the country in various counties.

A friend from primary also married her boyfriend who she's been with since YEAR 5. He became a professional footballer and their life has been the very opposite of a little local one.

I'm not with my husband because he feels safe. I'm with him because he gives me butterflies at nearly 20 years together. We weren't teenagers when we met but he was my first boyfriend. I don't need comparison to know he is one of the good ones. Why would I trade that in for heartbreak and shit men?

I’m early 50’s, I’ve just counted up and I think from the people I know well enough to know the details of their relationship there are 5 couples that have been together since 17/18ish. Does that count as childhood sweethearts? They seem as happy as those that got married at 35, more probably as their kids are grown up!
Many other couples that have been together from uni, early 20’s too.

I'm married to my first boyfriend. We met at 17. Married when I was 20 and he was 21. We've been married 31 years.

His brother married the girl he met at 15. Has 4 kids and they are still happily married 30 years on.

A friend of ours married his uni girlfriend and they've been married 28 years.

A lot of other friends and relatives have married and divorced in that time.

I think it depends what you mean by childhood. Becoming friends as teens is very different to growing up together.

I have read that "nature" prevents sexual relationships between children who grew up together, in the same way it prevents sibling relationships, by making it all seems a bit ick.

Either way, it must be quite unusual for people to marry their first relationship, regardless of when it started.

Seems about right, I don't know anyone who married their first boyfriend.

Agree. I married mine had 41 years together and still would be if he hadn’t gone and died.

I married my childhood sweetheart, we haven’t lived a little local life (not that there is anything wrong with that)

I don't believe it. I know quite a few couples who met as teens and have been married for a long time.
In the case of one friend, teen romance age 15 to 17, then split up. Married and divorced someone else, then married first love.

My best friend met her husband the first day of secondary school age 11. They got married at 19 - people said it wouldn’t last but they are 49 next year and 4 kids later and celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary very happy. But appreciate probably in the minority!

odd take. I met dh when I was 17 and dated from 19. We’re now mid 40s with 3 dc (older teens) and he’s still my best friend. I’m attracted to him and love him. We’ve grown and changed together along the way. We moved from our home town in our early 20s so not scared of change but just wanted to be together. Before dating dh i was with mostly awful guys and didn’t plan to ever marry but within a few months dating dh, i knew he was the one. He’s still “the one” 25 years later.

Childhood sweetheart (I googled it) seems to suggest a first relationship that starts platonically as a child.
So meeting someone at 16/17 wouldn't count (unless you already knew them for a few years).
This would rule out everyone I know - I know a couple of people married to Sixth Form boyfriends (though not very first relationship) and a few who met as teenagers, but most people I know met later than that.

Little local life 😂😂 DH and I live hundreds of miles away from our home town and have travelled the world together including some time living abroad. But whatever makes you feel better about your life I guess.

The only person I know who married his childhood sweetheart ended up getting divorced because she was banging his uncle.

Generally I don't think most relationships you have when you are kids are likely to turn out well. You barely know who you are, let alone who you're going to want to spend you're life with.

It's great for you @LillyP88 that you ended up together and happy, but it's surely not surprising that you're very much an outlier.

Big assumption there! What life experience have I missed? I'm married to my childhood sweetheart and neither of us have missed out on anything other than multiple other partners.

We've always both had our own lives and our own interests. We've lived far from a local life! We've done the clubbing with friends era and we've travelled the world both together and apart. We never stop each other doing anything.

I do think people needs to differentiate between 'first serious relationship' and 'childhood sweethearts' for the purposes of this thread, as they are very, very different.

Of my school cohort, I know of at least 12 couples who married someone in our year, the year above or below and they’re all still married, having got together between the ages of 12 and 16. All now in their 60s