Is coffee really that important? (lighthearted)

[exhaustDAD]

This is going to be drama-free. For some reason, the last few weeks in multiple aspects of my life I have seen/read people saying a potential partner not drinking coffee is a dealbreaker. Seen it pop up in some threads here, heard a coworker say it a few weeks back and today a friend was listing reasons why she decided not to go on a second date with a guy...

Did I miss something? Did this become the latest nonsense to be given more importance than it should be? I might be an old-fashioned guy in an old-fashioned marriage, but for some reason me not drinking coffee never caused a stir in my marriage with a coffee-drinking wife. Just like how I am not fussed about which flavour crisps she's choosing for an afternoon snack...haha

What weirdness is this? Lots of people don’t like coffee, why on earth would this make or break a potential relationship? I don’t understand 🤣

Right? I can't wrap my head around it either. But for some reason this message keeps finding me. Maybe life is just funny like that

I don't drink coffee or tea and have managed to find people to love me despite such overwhelming flaws... 🥹

I could never look at a man who didn't drink coffee.

😉

If they tried to stop me drinking coffee with some sanctimonious clap trap then it might become a problem! 😀
So it most likely isn’t worth the risk

But them not drink making it themselves, odd, to me, like really odd, but not a necessity.

Coffee makes my pee smell weird. I also hate the smell of coffee off someone’s breath.
So coffee drinker might have the opposite effect on me.

As usual, the few make the most noise. Years ago people like this were just ignored. Now with the internet, they are being listened to. It’s a wild world.

coffee breath 🤮 Most definitely a dealbreaker

No problem unless you try to take my coffee.

You really wouldn't want to do that.

Funny thing is, I am all for personal preferences, everyone has the right to like and not like whatever in a potential partner, but coffee drinking to be a dealbreaker is just so bizarre to me... so oddly specific. Can I drink water with bubbles, is that allowed? Or only without? It's like being prescriptive of anyone who eats raspberry yoghurt, for example. Blueberry is fine, strawberry fine, but not raspberry! You are not attractive to me if you eat raspberry yoghurt (I am exaggerating for the sake of the example).

I don't know, I am no coffee drinker, you will only catch me touch it when I make tiramisu, but years ago I researched great-quality coffee machines for my wife as a present, and last December I got her a good-quality specialty coffee bean advent calendar... Somehow we are able to live together blissfully.. Did not realise we should be enemies, haha.

How very odd.

People who would try to meddle with your coffee drinking with some nonsense are just as puzzling as those who consider non-drinking an "ick"

I hate coffee - the smell of it, the taste of it, even when another food/drink is flavoured with it. My last partner was a total coffee fiend and had a really early start on workdays. I would get up at 5am while he was in the shower to brew him fresh coffee (using a cafetière I bought for my kitchen so that when he stayed over with me he could always start the day the way that he preferred) and also used to make him a Reuben bagel to to eat on the way to work.

I hate early mornings. I hate coffee. But I absolutely loved the bones of him.

I’m very happily married despite not being a coffee drinker. My husband does sometimes jokingly moan about it because there’s no attraction to me to going to a coffee shop and having tea. So we don’t. My friends often feign horror too. But it’s too late for me.

We did make every effort to ensure our kids are coffee lovers, so they don’t commit the same social faux pas as their unsophisticated mother.

Coffee is really important to me personally. The brand, the bean, the way it's made.

it never would have occurred to me that I needed a partner with similar coffee tastes.

by the by. I'm currently drinking an Etheopian coffee from Tug Boat. Filtered.

Funny how it can just work without it being even an afterthought for the two people involved :)

I mean, it’s a bit weird not drinking coffee tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why though, @FancyPantsDressup ? It is just one of the million things people consume.. I can't think of a time where the seasoning on someone's crisp or the fruit contents of their smoothie ever determined anything, either. It's the same level.

People are odd. I've had someone comment on me ordering decaf (like a 'what's the point?' sort of comment). Thankfully not a partner.

The point... is that I have high blood pressure and caffeinated coffee ramps it up! But still like the taste of coffee.

It's going to be tricky to find a partner if such tiny things are dealbreakers.

I don’t drink tea or coffee — they give me instant flashbacks to teachers’ breath, and honestly, I can’t un‑associate the two.
I’ve been looked at like I’ve grown a second head more times than I can count when I say I don’t drink either, which is strange really. I’m not stopping anyone else — but for some reason, my choice of drink seems to affect people far more than it should 🤷🏻‍♀️

Haha, same here, @Retro12 - I don't drink alcohol or coffee. Tea I could if I felt like it, I am just not fussed. I never understood why people find it so unimaginable to not drink these things, just because they do. Once I was told that if I don't drink alcohol or coffee, they don't understand what keeps me alive and that I am not like an adult.. Haha, ok I guess..

I think I've seen people comment on it being about maturity, but that's for neither tea or coffee I assume, as if there's something infantile about not having the refineness of palate to like it or the maturity to handle hot liquids in one's mouth.

If someone wanted to decide dating me on my coffee drinking habits, I'd be happy to be rid of them

Some coffee drinkers treat it like a religion and invest a lot of money on it. It's as central as alcohol to some people.
I think life is easier if you like similar things..not everyone has the flexibility and open mindedness in them.

Ha, I’d probably think twice about dating a coffee clutcher.

The tedious obsession, the breath…🤢

It would not be a dealbreaker for me but I know quite a few people who don’t drink tea or coffee and do find it quite unsettling- what am I supposed to offer them when they come round. I’d be more tolerant of a live in partner that didn’t drink it!

I think that coffee and tea drinking is an important ritual, and not drinking either of them is very strange in an adult. So I probably wouldn’t continue a relationship with someone who didn’t drink either of them. Which might make me odd, but I’m sure people have stranger dealbreakers than that!