Why are most people against being a virgin and single for life?

[Nando8039]

I'm 35, in london, two paid off properties, I have great friends and family. I've never been interested in relationships and I'm still a virgin, the thought of it makes me sick.

Poor you. Life is not all about sex. It's not a need, like eg. water and food. And not having to have sex or be attractive to the opposite sex is wondrously liberating.

I don't think people are against it. But until relatively recently, people have had to get married and have children in order to get ahead or for financial security. These days I think it's more and more common. I have no problems with it. People should live their best lives however it looks.

People can't do what they like. We have laws, ethics and moral codes which suggest and enforce not always doing what you like because it harms you or others.

Agree, I don't think people are against it as such, if that is your choice, but the feelings you express in your OP are unusual and a bit sad.

No, it's not 'normal' in the biological sense not to have sex and reproduce. But sex is also not a necessity for anyone, it's an option. It is possible to choose not to have sex, to remain a virgin if one wishes to do so. Many have chosen this path and doing so has been seen as 'normal' in many societies. True, women who did not marry have been lumbered with names like spinster and now it seems to be routine to to tell women who don't want sex, or don't want to participate in pornified fetishes, 'frigid' (which they are not). OP has a point that being sexually inactive in Western societies in the current era is seen as peculiar and wrong. It's not wrong. In some ways it's more sane and normal than a constant round of partners and hook-ups.

To me it sounds like the OP is asexual, which is totally fine and not at all 'sad'

The OPs asking why people are against it, I assumed you were answering the question rather than randomly informing us about your sex life

Religion aside, it’s accepted as scientific fact by almost everyone. We know this behaviour is normal, because it’s what all species do, ie everything they can to create offspring.

I don't think most people are against it as such? I think it's just not what they want for themselves, and some people aren't good at understanding that not everyone wants to do life the conventional way.

Because most people like and enjoy sex and feel desire for people? And it's such a basic need that they struggle to understand people who don't feel that way?

I'm similar to the OP in that I have five paid off properties (one of them a forty-roomed castle) and have not only never had secks, I'm so unfamiliar with such matters that I can't even spell the word.

The thought of it makes me so ill, I've been hospitalised on a number of occasions. Doctors always advise me, "Just try to keep any hint of it out of your mind."

Having said that, I do get randy at times and luckily have a very fetching and obliging butler.

Most people have sexual desire, and desire for companionship. Not everyone but many people wish to have children.

If you are asexual, which I think is what you're describing, that's absolutely fine. Nobody should try and force their sexuality on other people. It must be difficult as it's true you are in the minority.

If you have a happy life, friends (if you want them), hobbies, a family you get on with mostly, interests and passions then that's all that matters.

Plenty of people are happy being single. Though saying the concept of sex makes you feel sick is an extreme reaction. It might not appeal to you but it is perfectly natural and meant to be enjoyable. If you have sexual desire.

You don't have to say, but did anything bad happen to you, non consensual sexual activity? I hope not but if so I hope you can seek therapy.

Do you wear a badge announcing your virginity? Nobody cares what you do or don’t do with your genitals. What nobody wants is to listen to you wanging on about it. Are you judgmental about other people’s sexual choices, and therefore invite comparisons? If not, then there’s no reason this should be a topic of conversation.

I hazard a guess that you’re male, from your two-paid-off-houses comment. I’d stop talking about that, as well, if you value your friends.

Pardon me but not finding a partner and not being sexually active are two entirety unrelated issues. One can be sexually active without being in a commited relationship. Or we can even broaden the definition of sex to include masturbation.
I am also not sure where you are getting information that there is a disapproval of women NOT being sexually active when, historically, and in the present day women are judged for exactly the opposite.
Nobody in this thread called OP "inhuman". And nobody criticise them for their choice. In fact, many have said it's not for them but OP is free to make whatever decisions work for them.
Finally, I am having trouble with bot OP's "most people are against" and yours "plenty of women secretly envy you". Unless either of you can provide some statistical data, I would suggest you are both projecting.

I like sex because it feels good physically and I'm not single because I like being with someone who loves me and who I love in return. My life is happier with him and our children in it. That's my simple answer. If someone wants to stay single/ a virgin then that's their business and nothing to do with me.

Sex is a choice. Not having sex is also a choice.

About 1 in 5 adults in Britain are sexually inactive so it’s not abnormal.

If we were just animals, everyone would be driven to have sex - clearly we’re not.

Your “we’re animals” argument comes across like you think you know other people better than they know themselves which is patronising.

How do you know all animals have sex all the time?

I think a lot of these comments prove the OP's point, really.

Would people say things like "If you don’t and never had the desire then there
is something wrong with your hormone levels" "is it a clinical condition?" "because it's not normal" etc. to someone who said they were gay?

Asexuality is very misunderstood, and judged.

As for 'normal' it depends what you mean. If by "not normal" you mean literally not what the majority of people do, thus, outside of the norm, then fair enough. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. Same as being 6'8 isn't "normal" but doesn't mean anything else in relation to how healthy or happy you might be!

And people querying/being glib about the properties thing are missing the point that it's a list - OP is just giving examples of why she is, by all other objective measures, doing well in life/ticking of 'normal' criteria for success - to query why romance/sex is the one thing people focus on above anything else (or at least, I assume it feels like that to her). Also to counteract the assumption that virgin = socially awkward weirdo living in their parents' basement.

No, it's not "just a theory". It's a scientific theory which refers to a an explanation of phenomena which has been tested using scientific methods, be that intervention or observational studies or, where these are not available through abductive reasoning. Or any combination of the above.

A concept of scientific theory is rather different from common definition of "theory".

You posted about this earlier in the month and never responded, so wh are you posting again? You do you and stop caring but what other people think.

What do you mean “against it”? Against it for themselves, or for others?

I’d be against it for me because it’s not what I want.
I don’t care what other people do.

Asexual is a sexuality.
Some people might think "how odd" but it is one.
@Nando8039 if you are an actual real person then just tell people you are asexual (or "ace" as some people call it).
99% of people are unlikely to care.

I’m not a virgin, but I’m single through choice.

People generally do think it’s strange to be single in your 40’s. Personally I think it’s sensible 😂
As for sex, it doesn’t really interest me. I’ve had about 10 sexual partners in all (some long relationships, others not) but it wouldn’t bother me if I never had sex again.

The desire to have sex is not a choice. It is encoded in our genes.

Many of those 1 in 5 are sexually inactive, not through choice, but because they cannot attract a sexual partner, or some other powerful influence prevents them from seeking one, or because illness or disease precludes it.

We are animals. When we descended from some common ancestor of apes, we didn't magically become some new type of creature. We are still animals, we just happen to have developed certain advanced brain functions that no other species has. However, we still retain many of our original animal-like behaviours, impulses and drives, which our evolved minds are able to moderate, to a certain degree, and with varying levels of success.

People who are virgins don't know what it's like to not be one. People who aren't have had both experiences, so can compare. for themselves. Doesn't mean anyone's "against" it. It's not something you know about someone else unless they choose to tell you anyway!