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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I get past his BDSM past? Dating after r*pe

111 replies

Amibeingunreasonable123 · 21/01/2026 10:40

Im with a kind, considerate guy and I'm falling for him, together 3 months. I was rped in my last relationship. I've had counselling and time to process /recover.

My bf knows this and has been understanding and considerate, never pushing me to do anything I'm not comfortable with. But he told me that in his last few relationships he did Bdsm and has done it for years, nothing extreme but bondage, role play, sex parties etc. The second time we had sex he suggested using toys, I said no and he didn't ask again.
Then he asked if I'd wear lingerie if he bought me some. I said yes, thinking he meant in the future. The following week he got me horrendous crotchless lingerie and it really upset me and I refused to wear it. He appologised and reassured me. He's told me he would never want to do anything I'm not comfortable with and he knows I'll NEVER be tied up as I was tied up and rped.
Another time he sort of suggested role play as during sex he said bad girls push back when he took me from behind (I think he wanted me to go along with being "bad" - I just ignored the comment).

I worry he will just feel like our sex life is boring especially compared to his exes who did all sorts of stuff that he said he enjoyed. I'm feeling really vulnerable, insecure, boring (I've never even used a vibrator and I'm as vanilla as it gets, embarrassed to even go in Anne Summers) and I've lost my confidence. I just can't compromise on this stuff - anything new feels deeply unsafe so I can't try anything, nor do I want to. I bought it up (didn't tell him how insecure I was feeling as I'm embarrassed) and he said all the right things, reassuring me and telling me he's happy with vanilla sex and loves me.

I just can't get past the gut feeling that he's bored or will be and leave me or cheat on me. I can't stop obsessing about what he got up to in his past and judging him. Is there a way past this or should I end it? The beginning of the relationship felt great and I was confident.

OP posts:
BootMaker · 22/01/2026 04:49

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 21/01/2026 13:59

People who are into BDSM simply do not know how to have a healthy sex life. They rely on a particular stimulus to drive arousal as they’re unable to get aroused through the normal healthy mutual exchange of sensation and pleasure. They dismiss this by labelling healthy sex as “vanilla”, a subtly derogatory term. Don’t let him gaslight you about this.

Totally agree.

FFS. There's n'owt fun about being an edgy fucker.

Perversion is boring.

Serafee · 22/01/2026 05:42

Oh for goodness sake some of these responses are ridiculous. OP has described someone who is kind and considerate and it’s certainly not necessarily the case that he is a “pervert”. Most people have things that turn them on or turn them off and that is fine in a happy secure and consenting relationship.

However OP - however kind and lovely he is I’m afraid I don’t think that he is right for you. He will always be turned on by dominating and that isn’t what you need in a sexual relationship because of your past. So either he will always be compromising or you will always be compromising and that is likely to lead to resentment in the long term. Unfortunately I think that means you’re simply not sexually compatible and so it’s probably better to part ways although that will be hard if you really like him in every other way. it’s a really tough situation.

mrssunshinexxx · 22/01/2026 05:49

Your sex drives and life’s are totally mismatched this isn’t going to work and could end up causing you further trauma which would be awful.
im sorry for what you have endured x

OtterlyAstounding · 22/01/2026 07:53

Serafee · 22/01/2026 05:42

Oh for goodness sake some of these responses are ridiculous. OP has described someone who is kind and considerate and it’s certainly not necessarily the case that he is a “pervert”. Most people have things that turn them on or turn them off and that is fine in a happy secure and consenting relationship.

However OP - however kind and lovely he is I’m afraid I don’t think that he is right for you. He will always be turned on by dominating and that isn’t what you need in a sexual relationship because of your past. So either he will always be compromising or you will always be compromising and that is likely to lead to resentment in the long term. Unfortunately I think that means you’re simply not sexually compatible and so it’s probably better to part ways although that will be hard if you really like him in every other way. it’s a really tough situation.

Edited

The issue is, OP has labelled him as kind and considerate and said he doesn't push her to do anything she isn't comfortable with - but his actual behaviour as listed isn't kind or considerate, and it absolutely is pushing her boundaries. She's just not recognising it as such.

Instead of allowing her to lead and them both getting to know each others' bodies and responses, he was already trying to introduce toys on their SECOND sexual encounter (why? To subtly neg OP and give her the idea that either her reactions, or his experience, wasn't 'good' enough?)
He's talking about what he used to do sexually with other women (again, why?? It's not relevant right now if he's happy not doing it, so the only possible reason is to exert a sense of pressure on OP to do similar things, by making her feel lesser in comparison.)
He buys OP the trashiest, most exposing lingerie possible, without asking her what she might like.
And then the 'bad girls do x' comment is HUGELY inappropriate, given her past trauma (and a bit cringeworthy aside from that).

He's pushy and thoughtless at least, going off what OP's said.

BauhausOfEliott · 23/01/2026 17:44

holdtheline11 · 21/01/2026 13:57

You don't need a word for non kinky sex, it's just sex

It is clearly used and felt as pressure and criticism by women - I have felt this as have others

It implies there is another kind of sex that you are denying your partner.

OP also said she was vanilla, like its something you are. I've felt the same. Giving something a name is how you to try to denormalise it.

I'll believe that it's not sexist when I see men who don't want to be pegged labelled 'vanilla'

I won't because men don't have to justify totally normal boundaries

You don't need a word for non kinky sex, it's just sex

No it isn't. That implies that there is only one 'normal', which is a very small range of sexual activity that you happen to like, and that everything else is essentially deviant. But that isn't the case. You don't get to arbitrate on that.

It's a bit like saying 'It's OK for gay/lesbian people to be described as gay/lesbian, but I don't want to be described as a 'straight' person because a straight person is just a normal person' or 'A non-disabled person shouldn't be called able-bodied because that's just the norm'.

Non-kinky sex isn't 'just sex', it's a certain form of sex that doesn't involve things that you don't like. You can't just decide that your preferences are the default and therefore don't ever need to be described.

It implies there is another kind of sex that you are denying your partner.

No, it implies there is another kind of sex, which there is. It doesn't imply you are denying your partner anything. It simply defines the type of sex some people happen to prefer, and are perfectly entitled to prefer.

I'll believe that it's not sexist when I see men who don't want to be pegged labelled 'vanilla'

The term 'vanilla' gets used for men all the time. Men are no more likely to be into BDSM than women. The mismatch in sexual interests that the OP describes happens both ways. Plenty of women like (for example) dominating or being dominated and find that their male partner isn't keen on that. Of course men find themselves having to justify their boundaries. But in any case, simply describing a preference as 'vanilla' doesn't imply it requires justification anyway. It's simply a descriptor. It doesn't have to be justified. Expressing a boundary doesn't automatically equal being forced to justify it.

It is clearly used and felt as pressure and criticism by women - I have felt this as have others

You can feel however you want, but that doesn't make the word invalid. Any perfectly valid and neutral descriptor can be used to criticise someone; that doesn't mean the word itself is the problem.

I've had people use the following terms used in a very negative, angry way to criticise me:

Feminist
British
English
Lefty
Liberal
Socialist
Vaccinated
Middle-aged

None of those things are bad things, unless you happen to be personally opposed to them. And they're also all perfectly true ways to describe me. The fact that they can be used as criticisms by unpleasant people who don't like those things doesn't mean that the words themselves are negative or offensive. They're neutral descriptors. Some people might well use them as insults (as people have done towards me) or feel insulted by them (if they were vehemently against those things). But that doesn't mean there's actually anything wrong with them or that they are intrinsically insulting words. Everything has a context.

BauhausOfEliott · 23/01/2026 17:47

he was already trying to introduce toys on their SECOND sexual encounter (why? To subtly neg OP and give her the idea that either her reactions, or his experience, wasn't 'good' enough?)

Sorry, but there is nothing weird, wrong or neggy about asking someone if they want to use toys. It doesn't imply anything or anyone isn't good enough.

RedToothBrush · 23/01/2026 17:47

This is not the man for you.

The end.

Find someone more compatible.

OtterlyAstounding · 24/01/2026 04:00

BauhausOfEliott · 23/01/2026 17:47

he was already trying to introduce toys on their SECOND sexual encounter (why? To subtly neg OP and give her the idea that either her reactions, or his experience, wasn't 'good' enough?)

Sorry, but there is nothing weird, wrong or neggy about asking someone if they want to use toys. It doesn't imply anything or anyone isn't good enough.

There is definitely something weird and negative about asking to introduce sex toys on the second encounter - assuming that nothing is required for either partner to perform, or to orgasm. It's rather different if a man requires a cock ring to stay erect longer, or a woman a vibrator to orgasm. Then the toys solve technical difficulties.

But if all else is going swimmingly, then suggesting to someone on your second sexual encounter that toys would be better, absolutely implies that the sex wasn't good enough, and needs external assistance to be improved upon.

We're not talking about people who have been together for months, or years, we're talking about it being only the SECOND sexual encounter, and he's already acting as though their bodies alone aren't enough to have a mindblowingly good time. It's a bit bloody pathetic, frankly.

(Although I suppose it could also suggest that he's terrible in bed, rather than negging her.)

OtterlyAstounding · 24/01/2026 04:11

@BauhausOfEliott
Then why choose the term 'vanilla'? It has a negative connotation, especially given the way it's employed.

Someone's now deleted comment on this thread made it very clear the way the term is often used - they basically equated preferring 'vanilla' sex to being a prude who only has missionary sex once a year, and that in order to be a person who enjoyed sex, one must have wild, kinky, bdsm experiences.

Calling people 'vanilla' makes me think of the way that some gay men call straight people (especially women) 'breeders'.

It's intended to be derogatory, and in a world where thanks to porn and social pressures, women are pushed to not have any boundaries around what they'll do sexually, it's misogynistic.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 24/01/2026 04:35

Hes always going to push ypu for this.....and make you feel like you're not enough ...you don't need to get past it....you need to get past him x

Lady2026 · 24/01/2026 04:44

3 months and he's already wanted it in a way you don't so that's not love or compatibility

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