Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anonymous message to partner

126 replies

Dontknowwhattobelieve2 · 11/01/2026 22:36

My partner has received a message on WhatsApp this evening from an unknown number stating..

Hey. I’ve recently been for an STI test and my results have come back as positive for chlamydia. I have been asked to inform any recent sexual partners and to advise them to get tested themselves. So sorry.

She won’t say who she is, only that he invited her back to his house after a night out in November (I’m not aware of any nights out that he’s had while we’ve been together, it’s something he’s never been bothered about, he also has his son full time so rarely has a night off) and that once they went back to his they had sex, when she left he passed on his number but she never contacted him as she wasn’t interested in seeing him again.

We don’t live together so it could be possible that he invited her to his and I wouldn’t have a clue. He’s adamant that he hasn’t cheated on me. I just don’t know what to believe.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dontknowwhattobelieve2 · 12/01/2026 08:08

I messaged the number myself last night and it still hasn’t delivered if it doesn’t go through within the next few hours I will try to call. They’ve blocked him now but hopefully she will answer me soon.

OP posts:
Itwasachristmasjoke · 12/01/2026 10:03

Sounds like someone trying to cause shit, if it was true I'm sure she'd have been more forthcoming with information? Dates/times/places....

mindutopia · 12/01/2026 10:21

Honestly, this sounds a bit like a prank or scam to me. The language is very clinical. I used to work in sexual health (doing partner notification actually) and this is the sort of thing we might say in a leaflet or something, but I don’t think it’s really how people speak to eat other. It sounds very copy and pasted.

Most people having casual hook ups probably don’t care about trying to inform partners or they would just give the number to the clinic and we’d ring and do it for them anonymously. It’s weird to go through the trouble of contacting him, but then being evasive and unhelpful. Surely, if you’re going to reach out, you’d want to actually help someone to get tested and have all the information.

This smells like kids messing around texting random people or a friend or someone doing it to be cruel. That said, if this happened to me, I’d laugh, block and delete. If I knew I didn’t have sex with some random, I wouldn’t even mention it to Dh. Why would I? It’s just a prank. Unless it wasn’t?

Original poster
Dontknowwhattobelieve2 · 12/01/2026 10:33

I’ve just been for my test so hopefully I’ll soon find out whether there is some truth in it. I’m so divided on it because why wouldn’t she give any details? But then has he told me out of guilt? So then it’s on me to get checked out?

He received a birthday card the other day addressed to him which had no name in it so that along with this has put doubts in my minds because how would they know his address?

OP posts:
Okiedokie123 · 13/01/2026 00:16

Thats so weird. My instinct says that his willingness to tell you about it suggests that he is just as confused by it as you - surely if he was guilty he wouldnt have kept it secret?

My thinking is that the person sending the message is a troll/poop stirrer/axe to grind - they could have found out his address as well as his phone number? Very convenient that both instances have happened so close together.

Catsandfluffybankets · 13/01/2026 00:25

100% a hoax. I had a message to say my daughter had changed her number and phone provider. I then phoned the network and asked for her number to be taken off the account I was paying for. All hell broke loose.

BBKP · 13/01/2026 00:32

You said he has his son full time? Could it be an ex partner/child's mother trying to cause trouble?

timeserved · 13/01/2026 00:57

People do play pranks like this.

What I cannot understand is his reaction, if it was true we would expect him to hide it, if it was untrue I would still expect him to hide it rather than introduce doubt into the relationship.
The only purpose I can think of for telling you is that it is indeed true and he is tying to leverage it to look honest and forthright.
Or maybe it is a prank after all and he is just not mature enough to delete it and keep a secret

WinterSunglasses · 13/01/2026 01:30

Just noticed this bit from your earlier post

Her picture was left blank and her name was “hey” which to me seems odd I just don’t understand why anyone or who would make something like this up.

Hey is the first word of the message sent. That suggests to me the WhatsApp profile was set up or changed for the purpose of sending that message. Why do that if it's a real person who'd slept with him? Why not send with your actual name so the recipient knows who it's from? For all they know he does this every night. That and the generic content of the message just feels off. It's like that scam of 'Hi Mum, this is my new number' texts that then ask for money and never say the person's name. If you ask for any details they go silent. Can you ask for some personal detail only you would know? I do think it's a hoax but I get that you'd feel better to be able to prove that.

kkloo · 13/01/2026 02:47

It’s weird to go through the trouble of contacting him, but then being evasive and unhelpful. Surely, if you’re going to reach out, you’d want to actually help someone to get tested and have all the information.

@mindutopia
Not really, she was reaching out to him about an STD, she wasn't reaching out to the OP to say her partner was a cheater.

ScullyD · 13/01/2026 03:29

I don’t really see why this would be a scam. Scams usually come attached to extorting for money and it doesn’t have that tone about it. Logistically, is there a chance it could be true?

Strawberrryfields · 13/01/2026 03:40

timeserved · 13/01/2026 00:57

People do play pranks like this.

What I cannot understand is his reaction, if it was true we would expect him to hide it, if it was untrue I would still expect him to hide it rather than introduce doubt into the relationship.
The only purpose I can think of for telling you is that it is indeed true and he is tying to leverage it to look honest and forthright.
Or maybe it is a prank after all and he is just not mature enough to delete it and keep a secret

If I got this message and knew it was a prank or a mistake I’d mention it to my partner without a second thought. It’s just something out of the ordinary to share in passing. Just ‘oh look at this weird/ random/ silly thing I recovered. I wouldn’t read into it as know it’s nothing to do with me.

Womaninhouse17 · 13/01/2026 04:09

TwattyMcFuckFace · 11/01/2026 23:11

Could be a hoax doing the rounds?

I always thought the clinics used to ask patients for the numbers and they would send the message on their behalf?

Could be wrong though obviously.

They don't now, or at least not in my experience.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 13/01/2026 05:18

This is really weird and probably one of the few times I actually think a man might not have done anything lol.

I’ve been in this situation somewhat recently (2024) and was asked by the clinic for the contacts of anyone that needs to be told. There’s no reason for someone to go through the trouble of setting up an anonymous account.

99bottlesofkombucha · 13/01/2026 05:37

This sounds like a prank message to me.

whatulookinat · 13/01/2026 05:41

Someone who has a crush on him and is trying to cause problems between you two?

Brahumbug · 13/01/2026 05:53

It's clearly a prank message. I would think nothing more of it.

NotMeAtAll · 13/01/2026 05:54

It sounds like someone trying to cause trouble.

flatterlylatterly · 13/01/2026 05:58

helplessbanana · 11/01/2026 23:11

Is starting a message with 'Hey.' a commonplace thing to do these days?

I think ChatGPT does.

moose62 · 13/01/2026 06:18

Could it be a mate playing a prank on him or someone he has upset?
On the face of it, especially as he sent it to you without any provocation, I would assume it was a hoax.
My DH received a post card a long time ago thanking him for a lovely weekend and asking if they could meet up again.
He had no idea who the person was, but it had his name and address on.
The only thing that made me realise it was probably a hoax was that they used his real first name...think Mark, when he actually goes by his middle name...I.e Bob.

Some people just love causing problems!

CremeCarmel · 13/01/2026 06:24

GiveafuckGertrude · 11/01/2026 23:16

If he had cheated and didn’t want you to know, isn’t it most likely that he just wouldn’t have shared this information at all?

I would message her myself and appeal to her for honesty, one woman to another, for your peace of mind/opportunity to move on and not waste your life with him.

I think it is the other way round. If he hadn’t cheated he wouldn’t need to send the message. He would also insist that Op doean’t need to get tested. If he doesn’t stop her doing that he is guilty as hell.

I suppose Op may never know if he gets tested himself but if he was innocent he wouldn’t need to.

Tpu · 13/01/2026 06:25

timeserved · 13/01/2026 00:57

People do play pranks like this.

What I cannot understand is his reaction, if it was true we would expect him to hide it, if it was untrue I would still expect him to hide it rather than introduce doubt into the relationship.
The only purpose I can think of for telling you is that it is indeed true and he is tying to leverage it to look honest and forthright.
Or maybe it is a prank after all and he is just not mature enough to delete it and keep a secret

You see, the only reason I would say it’s true is because it is so preposterous and he knows it’s crap.
If I received it, I would say “ha ha, look at this, do you think it’s a scam?”

babyproblems · 13/01/2026 06:30

Well worst case scenario is your test is positive.. then you’ve got your answer…

strange she won’t give any other details though… address would be telling..

Left · 13/01/2026 06:38

This happening, and the anonymous card, make it sound like someone with an axe to grind, or a stalker. Has anything else happened recently that’s odd?

Pudmyboy · 13/01/2026 06:40

TwattyMcFuckFace · 11/01/2026 23:11

Could be a hoax doing the rounds?

I always thought the clinics used to ask patients for the numbers and they would send the message on their behalf?

Could be wrong though obviously.

Clinics tend to prefer people to tell their sexual partners, but they will contact them on the patients behalf if asked.