It’s over isn’t it

[Ghlp]

So exactly a year ago I met someone. We are both old and have grown up children and our own houses. We see each other twice a week. Never on a Saturday night as that is a hobby night for him with friends. Never said I love you. He is happy with this. I’m not

Have you talked to him about this?

It’s over if you say it’s over. He may be completely happy as you are - you clearly aren’t. Have you had a frank conversation about expectations?

I have said this isn’t working for me. No offer to give up Saturday night. No offer other than we can maybe do a Saturday afternoon. So I either except it as it is or move on

He has 2 holidays booked with friends this year. No discussing just booked

Then I would say he’s been honest, you’ve been honest, and you should part amicably. You want different things in a relationship; it’s nobody’s fault.

How old are you?
If you are otherwise happy, why is the declaration of love so important?
Edit to say just seen updates.
If you want different things from the relationship it won't work

In my fifties. I suppose important because I love him

Fifties isn't old lol

Seems like he's happy just having a friendship, or FWB if you're sleeping together. His friends are his priority. It doesn't sound as though it will progress further so if you want more OP, maybe best to cut your losses and look elsewhere.

That’s my thinking too

You are not old
I asked because I was imagining two octogenarians in their twilight years.
You want different things so maybe yes, it's got no future .

So your issue is that he sees his friends once a week and hasn't told you he loves you.... and so you want to end it?

It’s more that I feel like he is living in the past. He still talks about we referring to his ex wife. I do feel like other things are more of a priority and I fit around those. If he really wanted to see me and made me a priority than that and words would help. He knows am upset today but is still out

So there are two sticking points in your relationship from your side - he's never said he loves you and he won't ever give up his hobby on a Saturday night? If everything else is great but those are sticking points for you then they are sticking points for you.

Yes they are sticking points for me but I can’t get round them

Well that's what it is. He has his life and you fit around it. That's it. You don't feel like a priority because he doesn't make you one.

Tbh I doubt it'll.get any better. A year in it should still be oxytocin and can't get enough of each other

If you can't then I think that probably is the end after a year I'm sorry.

You're not old! You're not on the same page as they say. Move on.

I’ll talk to him tomorrow and lay it on the line. I’m not fighting for his time or attention.

Could you clarify with him whether he sees this as a casual relationship or wants to commit to a proper relationship. If he is happy with casual, then keep it in your periphery if you want - enjoy the moments you have with him while looking for someone else. Life’s too short.

Why are you describing h yourself as old? I thought you were at least 75! But yes, it's over, he prefers to go.out every Saturday (date night) with others and on holiday without you. Move on (quickly).

I’ve asked for clarification and he says he is not wasting my time but can’t give any promises about where it is going

Dont. Its demeaning.

I meant to finish it

You want different things. He wants a relationship that fits into his established lifestyle and you want it to be more.

Neither of you are wrong, you’re just not on same page.