It’s over isn’t it

[Ghlp]

So exactly a year ago I met someone. We are both old and have grown up children and our own houses. We see each other twice a week. Never on a Saturday night as that is a hobby night for him with friends. Never said I love you. He is happy with this. I’m not

I’d not be happy a year in if it was still like that.

Friends and hobbies are fine but he should by now be more accommodating.

The holiday thing wouldn’t suit me either - being in a relationship is about planning that sort of stuff IMO.

If I were you I would be taking a step back, painful as that might be, as I don’t think you are on the same page unfortunately and might never get there.

He sounds very rigid and self-centred.

Sorry but you’re not even on his list.

Putting it politely, leave him to it.

I wouldn't give up a hobby one night a week for a partner, nor would I expect it of them.
It seems you want more and likely he either doesn't know you feel this way about it all or he is happy as it is.

Either way doesn't seem you are well suited to eachother. X

Never a Saturday or Sunday night.

That's very unavailable.

Personally I couldn't continue with an intimate relationship if my partner wasn't committed enough to give me some weekend time.

Just told him I am now busy on a Friday going forward he was surprised

Be interesting to see what he comes back with.

Well done though - hopefully it’s a wake up call and moves things on one way or another ❤️

No give from him just ok so we will see less of each other

Do you have a laugh together? Is the sex good? Do you see each other on other days eg Fridays? Does it have to be a Saturday?

Good for you op, stay busy, and smile, , he has become complacent and your too predictable, time to be unavailable op,

There is mutual making of accommodations and there is giving up your life to suit someone else. You know what you did OP but it sounds like you are putting it right now.

Exactly this .

Sounds like he doesn’t really care about you, I’m afraid. You’re never going to be happy in this relationship - please be kind to yourself and think about ending it…

There's 6 other days to see each other. Have you told him you love him?

In your 50s is young and a great age for less stressful relationships. If you don’t get what you want with someone then I’d say move on! Given the 50% or so divorce rate surely there’ll be men and women will have learnt a thing or two about how to be true to themselves and each other in relationships. When they tell you or show you what they want believe them and find one that suits you.

Thank you flogging a dead horse aren’t i

You’ve taken a step back, made your point, so sit tight and see what his next move is.

Sounds like you want to stay in the relationship so suppose give him a chance to reflect and to see if he does too.

Anyone who is saying it’s only a Saturday, there’s other days etc is missing the point - at the moment this relationship seems very one sided and if it’s worth sticking with then for me anyway things would have to change.

People like this don’t change, and let me guess, he’s had his set ‘procedure’ for years?

IF he was to go out with you on one of his set days/nights, he would hate every minute of it, and that’s absolutely no reflection on you. Why would you want to be with someone who really wants to be somewhere else.

His prime time is reserved for his first love and sadly that’s not you.

You’ve done the right thing by not allowing yourself to be second best.

I get a sense that you are too available to him OP. Set some boundaries and see what happens.

The whole time you’re accepting the crumbs you’re missing out on the sandwiches and cake! Sending good vibes

Basically then, until now he has assumed you would change all your plans to fit in with his, in order that the two of you could spend time together. Now you've told him you won't be available on Fridays any longer, his answer to that isn't a compromise of any kind, it is just ok, you'll see less of each other then.

That really gives you the answer you need. His weekend plans with his 'friends' are far more important to him than you are.

Flogging a dead horse is right.

If a man doesn’t want to see you weekends or make any plans as a couple, no love talk, then he only sees it as something casual not a proper relationship. I wouldn’t waste anymore time, a year in and it’s going nowhere.

He’s not really that into you. You are a low priority in the grand scheme of things.
“Can’t make promises” means he wants you to bend to his schedule.
Honestly, throw him back, he isn’t committed to you, beyond being a regular supply of Fanny for him.

I am in the process of a split and I think if anyone new ever came into my life then I wouldnt bend a blade of grass for them. I am completely done with bending myself backwards for a relationship and I dont think I would do it again. Ever. It would be nice to have a person I could be with for company once a week and text and speak to but I wouldnt be invested to the point where I give myself up in anyway again for another person.
I reckon your partner has this mentality. Which means if you want something more than that then it is not going to happen. He is putting himself first for whatever reasons he has and you should do the same.

50s isnt old at all op . You have plenty of years ahead of you to find someone else .

Why do you want him to give up his hobby? I like it that my 57 year old husband has hobbies. I wish it got him out more than once a week tbh.

If I was dating at this age I wouldn’t give up my hobbies for a new partner either, especially one that seems flaky and a bit childish.