Are there any decent men?

[Southpaw67]

I don't come on here often but every time I do there's always loads of threads about women being cheated on by their husband or partner. I realise people won't really be on here if they have a good relationship but it's so depressing and very very sad that so many men cheat and lie to their partners. Just be nice to hear of men who don't lie, cheat, use porn etc, etc, surely some exist?!!

I agree with you.

These men pick women who can be gaslit into ignoring red flags, or will deny them because their self-worth is so low. As I said, vulnerable women.

So if I work with your DH and he asks me to start sending him nude pics of myself, you wouldn't see that as cheating? He's still just looking at pics of other women, so you should be OK with that.

If he went to a swingers' club to jerk off whilst watching other people fuck, you wouldn't see that as cheating? He's still just looking at other people having sex, so you should be OK with that.

That's totally different from porn. Porn has no interactive element and you know it. Complete false equivalence. I didn't say OnlyFans or cam girls.

THIS. Watching porn does not involve any contact or real life interaction with anyone.

I have a huge crush on Jason Momoa for example. My husband is fine with this. If I told him my crush was on his brother instead, I am quite sure he wouldn't be as fine with it. Context matters here.

Yes, there are decent men. But it helps to be MC/rich and educated to meet them (and sometimes that doesn't help either; those types can be horrible too). I read many, many threads on MN and dare not comment about my lack of experience with the horrible creatures who seem to inspire the majority of threads.

I have been fortunate to spend a lifetime amongst many, many good men in my immediate and wider family and across my life in general: not one of my dad's friends ever groped me; nor did I worry about avoiding any of them.

To a man, the men in my family and in-laws, seem to appreciate, nay relish, the benefits of upstanding, decent parterships with reciprocal women. Both sides, mine and DH's, are old fashioned/traditional British types without any George Cross aggression. Just decent, chutney eating, pull-over wearing, allotment types who want to watch some Scandi crime on telly with the Mrs of an evening and book a holiday cottage (dog friendly!) in Wales/Cornwall/Sandbanks/Lakes.

I was at an in-law 60th anniversary this weekend - second this year - and all the men there were with their wives and children. The happy couple have found their way through 6 decades and I can't imagine the 'groom' to have done anything untoward ever. The wives all have university degrees and careers. I think everyone is too busy with work, children, dogs/pets, campervans, hobbies, holidays and companionship to do anything other than be who they are. They/we all enjoy being at home with our loyal companions.

I usually hear of mc men cheating more and/or getting with younger women as they feel more entitled.

Erm, he's seeking it out, there's an element of interaction there as he browses the catalogue. There's also a porn genre called "jack off instructions", JOI for short, in which someone in the video instructs the viewer in how to handle his penis.

without any George Cross aggression

Do you mean St George's Cross aggression, as in spraypainting miniroundabouts?

The George Cross, named after King George VI, is a decoration for valour.

as a mum of teen and pre teen boys this is so lovely and refreshing to read

They do exist. You mostly see cheating stories because people in happy, faithful relationships don’t post about them. Online spaces show the worst cases, not the norm.

Some men of course are better than others. I belief that some women who can be in long term relationships compromise a lot. They accept men”s flaws even as terrible as cheating or accept that they are useless at times. This is according to conversations to few friends with long term relationships. The oh you know men all cheat, watch porn, are clueless… Personally I will be by myself and happy with not having to deal with men.

Of course there are, most of them. I don’t recognise the picture people on here paint of terrible men. The majority of men I know are decent, kind, caring, honest men. From what I see of my own sons they’re thoroughly decent too. I had a wonderful role model as a father and in turn my siblings and I have married decent men. Are they perfect? No. But they are honest hard working kind and decent people

I agree wholeheartedly @christmassytimeagain. Most women agree as well which is why there are comparatively few posts on this thread. @SouthernNights59. I just think it is lazy labelling of men in the way that the racist comments from the seventies were stereotypes. The racist stereotypes were anecdotal stories. Most of them were not based on fact. The same anecdotal laziness is evident on here with regards to men.

I have met a few, and they've had bloody good reason to when you get to know them.

99% of rapes, 98% of sexual assaults, and 95% of murders are carried out by men, who make up 49% of the population.

Distrust and fear of men is in no way comparable to racism.

Exactly. They're not spray-painting roundabouts or putting up flags with zipties.

They unreservedly support the UK at home and abroad in the line of fire.

One of them is mentioned in dispatches and an OBE. Another is in the police. Another went to Sandhurst and worked in the Far East.