If your Christmas gifts from DH upset you, would you say something or not?

[Moreshowergel]

We opened the gifts in a big family group as we had lots of family over.
He got me 4 lots of shower gel. 2 were basically the same. One did come in a box with a tiny scented candle. It just felt like he went to the l'occitane shop, scooped some shower gel off the shelves and thought "job done". I do like their shower gel but I actually have several in the bathroom already.

I guess I took lots of time choosing his gifts and it's just made me feel a bit of an afterthought

We've been together 10 years. I know he was busy in the runup.

He's asked me why I am quiet and I feel like it's unfair and petty to say something but equally it has left me feeling a bit shit and maybe its better to say ?

Don't you tell your husband what you want?
Mine asks me what I want, I send him the links and he buys them.
He always throws in a few little surprises which is nice but the main gifts are chosen by me.

Edit- just seen that you did have a list. You absolutely should bring it up. Tell him that your disappointed that he didn't get you any of the books you asked for and ask that next year you both stick to your lists.

I think I'd only be hurt that someone didn't like a gift i got them if I'd put a lot of thought into it. If I grabbed a few shower gels and wrapped them, I'd expect them to not like it. You have every right to tell him. It's also important to be honest in relationships, keeping it to yourself won't help anything

My partner used to get his mother to buy my presents and they were awful so I had to tell him to stop, now he asks me what I want or I buy it myself and he gives me the money back.

So i asked for a few things and I know im going to sound ungrateful. I sent a link of a few pandora rings i liked with the size I would need. Each ring was oddly a different size for the finger I intended to wear it and all I asked was that he showed my dsughter and she picked the one she liked best. Easy you would think. Nope. He didnt show her so she was upset she didnt get to choose one and rather than ask her he just sent all 3. Of course most didnt fit as I cant wear all 3 on the same finger so had to swap them all for different sizes and the one my dsughter would havr picked was no longer avaliable in thr correct size.

He also got 5 different gift cards of £20 ftor different stores so I can't go out and treat myself to something extravagent from John Lewis for example so every card will just go towards something else which probably means rubbish stuff that I need rather than a treat. I know i sound ungrateful but he just manages to throw money rather than thought into things.

But then it just equates to someone buying me 4 bottles of Radox.

One bottle of OPs favourite, along with some favourite sweets/chocolate and a book from the list he had of things she would have actually liked would have been thoughtful. This was lazy.

Tell him you are just feeling disappointed and therefore a bit sad - as you thought he might have made more of an effort in choosing your gifts.

Some men are just rubbish at gifts - my solution would be to suggest that perhaps next year you dont buy for each other. No.gifts no disappointment! and instead do something together as a joint guft to yourselves.

I wouldn’t dream of saying anything… some years he gets it spot on like this year, some he doesn’t, but I wouldn’t be nasty enough to show my disappointment, knowing whatever it was bought in love …and much appreciated….

Isn’t the whole problem here that it wasn’t bought in love but more likely as a last minute panic!

So what, makes no difference, still a gift

So if someone wrapped the contents of your fridge and gave it to you that would be ok because it’s a gift?

I can’t fathom how someone can be married for ten years and not be able to have this conversation tbh

It's not that I can't have it (the conversation). It's that I am not sure it's the right thing to do. There's part of me that feels, like some on this thread suggested, that it's rude or impolite or unkind to criticise a gift.

And it's not that they are awful gifts individually, but getting multiples is what felt so particularly odd.

As for why I haven't had it yet - we still have a houseful of guests

One of my ex's gave me a household cleaning equipment for my birthday (which is also close to Christmas) and I made it clear I never want anything to do with cleaning, ever, as a gift. That relationship taught me that women do receive such stupid gifts in reality, not just on the tv shows😅

He had a list of your gift choices and he didn't buy anything off the list. I would 100% have a talk about it with him.

I would definitely tell him, but in a kind jokey way.

Hey mr shower gel, the sales are on, let’s go out on Saturday and get me a proper present.

I wouldn't be nasty enough to expect the love of my life to be grateful I'd bothered to wrap up some last minute bottles of shower gel, like that's all the thought and effort she is worth.