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Original poster

New partner has a historic conviction info on social services

94 replies

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 16:03

I have a new partner of over a year he has not been round my children. He has a conviction 25 years ago served 3 years for knife crime, daft teenager times no more convictions. My daughter has a severe special needs so has a disability social worker. I need to inform the social worker because its time to move my relationship forward in the next year, he will NOT meet my kids until I think its the right time.
my ex is currently taking me to court to force the sale of the family home that has been adapted for our daughter. He is using my new partners past against me in court but the judge is not interested in this issue. Any help would be appreciated

OP posts:
yeesh · 28/12/2025 16:09

A 3 year sentence is really serious not a ‘daft teenager’. You must know it won’t look good to SS to be in a relationship with a person convicted of a violent crime, you shouldn’t try to downplay it with the social worker as it it will even worse.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 28/12/2025 16:13

25 years ago?

It's serious but it's 25 years ago. I'd give him a chance. I'd talk to the social worker about it though and I'd be very careful about red flags.

People sometimes don't change, but sometimes they do and look back and wonder who the hell that person they used to be was and are very glad they aren't like that any more.

OneShyQuail · 28/12/2025 16:13

3 years for knife crime is not "daft teenager things" given how hard it is to actually get sentences for these things.

Just be very careful OP

PInkyStarfish · 28/12/2025 16:15

Leopards don’t change their spots.

He was a thug and whilst the thug tendencies may have been dormant for awhile, he is still a thug at heart.

Dreamerinme · 28/12/2025 16:16

You need to be completely honest with the SW but tbh this probably won’t reflect well on your judgement.

Is moving your relationship forward mean you want him to move in? All DC are vulnerable but one with severe special needs is even more so - tread very carefully and put your DC first.

MiloAndTeddy · 28/12/2025 16:18

3 years for knife crime? What actually happened.

Your child is especially vulnerable with a disability, what does move the relationship forward mean? I’d keep them separate, he doesn’t need to be around your kids at all.

Geeseinarowhonk · 28/12/2025 16:18

Yeah, this would be instant throw back for me, and it's worrying you seem to be trying to minimise this.

You don't just get a custodial sentence for 'daft teenager' stuff. Do you even know the details and whether there were aggravating factors?

Adding in a vulnerable daughter? Hell would freeze over before I would let a previously violent man anywhere near her.

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 28/12/2025 16:19

my ex is currently taking me to court to force the sale of the family home that has been adapted for our daughter.
that’s a shame, are you able to buy him out? I suppose it’s hard if he’s still on the joint mortgage to move on.

HippeePrincess · 28/12/2025 16:22

My dp had a daft teenage knife crime sentence 20 years ago, 6 months maybe suspended for carrying a bladed article in public. It was a fishing knife in his pocket following going on a night fishing trip with a car full of teenage boy, included in that sentence was him taking the wrap for all the lads weed because at the time he was the one doing the least well in terms of uni/career etc. that’s a daft thing that social services and court wouldn’t be worried about, I know this as dp has worked in schools and other caring roles.
However, serving 3 years for an actual knife crime is very very different, you must not have been told the full story as you seem so unconcerned about it.

Eightdayz · 28/12/2025 16:27

Somethings not right here. Anything other than very serious offences become "spent" after about 10 years and cannot "be used" against anyone.

What exactly does 3 years for "knife crime" even mean? Sounds like he got banged up for stabbing someone. And you call that daft teenager shit. Fucking hell you need to get a grip. Quickly. Please.

ohdelay · 28/12/2025 16:27

Three years won't just be for concealed carrying in public; he'll have used it in a crime, but the victim didn't die. 7 billion humans on the planet and you're in the middle of court drama with your ex, just throw this one back.

Only2daystogo · 28/12/2025 16:28

Have you asked the police for Sarah/Clare law disclosure?

myhaggisblewup · 28/12/2025 16:56

Geeseinarowhonk · 28/12/2025 16:18

Yeah, this would be instant throw back for me, and it's worrying you seem to be trying to minimise this.

You don't just get a custodial sentence for 'daft teenager' stuff. Do you even know the details and whether there were aggravating factors?

Adding in a vulnerable daughter? Hell would freeze over before I would let a previously violent man anywhere near her.

Think seriously about what peeps are saying to you on here.
One twat is trying to sell a home adapted for your SN child and all you seem to be concerned about is your love life and 'daft teenage' behaviour, ffs.
Wake up and smell the coffee and kick him to the kerb. I can't believe you even think this man is a good idea to have in your child's life.
He won't meet her until you think it's the right time? Hello.. there will NEVER be a right time for them to meet.
Do the right thing for your child and protect her for this person by getting rid.I would be seriously concerned if I was your ex and I knew this, although he sounds a prick I can't believe he wouldn't kick up about your suspect choice of partner.
I sure as hell would if my ex had done this.

myhaggisblewup · 28/12/2025 16:57

Only2daystogo · 28/12/2025 16:28

Have you asked the police for Sarah/Clare law disclosure?

Edited

Valid point.

DurinsBane · 28/12/2025 17:08

You should tell SS before your ex does

DurinsBane · 28/12/2025 17:10

PInkyStarfish · 28/12/2025 16:15

Leopards don’t change their spots.

He was a thug and whilst the thug tendencies may have been dormant for awhile, he is still a thug at heart.

So no one at all can change?

Original poster
Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

OP posts:
Geeseinarowhonk · 28/12/2025 17:39

Sure, people can change, but I would not be taking that chance to find out if I had a daughter with severe special needs who currently risks losing her home.

Fargo79 · 28/12/2025 17:40

Some people change. Some people don't. It's unconscionable that you would put your vulnerable child's safety on the line to take a punt on whether your new boyfriend is the former or latter.

Downplaying a violent knife crime, however long ago, as "daft teenager stuff" is not a good look and it's doubtful that SS or your child's father are going to be won over by that.

Arthurnewyorkcity · 28/12/2025 17:42

Jeez, a silly teenager is perhaps a bit of graffiti or drinking too much, not knife crime! How do you know this info? Have you done a Claire law? Yes people can change but social services will be seriously unimpressed

MiloAndTeddy · 28/12/2025 17:43

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

You don’t get 3 years for a scuffle. What happened?

Aplstrudl · 28/12/2025 17:44

Sorry, but you’re being very naive as you do not get three years for a knife scuffle. According to google, in 2000 the max penalty for possessing a knife illegally was 2 years, so he did more than just have it on him.

Simonjt · 28/12/2025 17:46

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

As someone who was very much alive in 2000 not only were the streets not that rough knife crime wasn’t as common as it is today. Choosing to carry a weapon isn’t a mistake, its an active choice. A scuffle wouldn’t lead to three years in prison, choosing to stab someone however could.

Fargo79 · 28/12/2025 17:46

She won't have made a Clare's Law application. That would mean taking the violent criminal conviction seriously for a start, which she obviously doesn't, and would also require a level of diligence and responsibility that she clearly lacks if she's involving herself and planning to involve her child with this man.

alexdgr8 · 28/12/2025 17:49

Didn't that man who drove into the crowd in Liverpool have no recent convictions...
Should have been alright then ?
But wasn't.
Over 100 people injured.
Sheer luck no fatality.

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