New partner has a historic conviction info on social services

[Ash9435]

I have a new partner of over a year he has not been round my children. He has a conviction 25 years ago served 3 years for knife crime, daft teenager times no more convictions. My daughter has a severe special needs so has a disability social worker. I need to inform the social worker because its time to move my relationship forward in the next year, he will NOT meet my kids until I think its the right time.
my ex is currently taking me to court to force the sale of the family home that has been adapted for our daughter. He is using my new partners past against me in court but the judge is not interested in this issue. Any help would be appreciated

Laugh it up OP, laugh it up 🤦‍♀️.

Instead of laughing, maybe put yourself and your child first and seriously consider the risks associated with taking things forward. You've only been with him a year which isn't that long - I am hoping that you did a Clare's Law application as soon as you knew he'd served time?

Your child is extremely vulnerable. I wouldn't be bringing any man into my life / my house and then my child life in these circumstances.

If he served three years in prison, then it wasn't just daft teenager times. Bear in mind that he must have been sentenced to more than three. Three is just what he served.

Do you know exactly what happened?

He sounds like a wrong 'un, sorry. I would never, ever be with someone who had served time, especially not for a violent crime. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life.

Bear in mind as well that bad people are attracted to vulnerable people, or people who have vulnerable people in their lives....like your daughter.

Seriously, mate. Give yourself a splash with cold water. You can't possibly be this desperate. You and your daughter deserve better.

Go for it. Definitely worth losing your daughter over!

So many men without convictions but definitely go for the one with just to spice it up.

How much do you know about the offence and where did your information come from?

I’ve known a few men who’ve been in this prison before from when I was a teenager to much older. The younger ones have changed however both the older ones, one in particular had hardly changed.

I was slumming it so hard I was practically living on the streets in a large city in the early 2000s. Knives definitely weren't as commonplace then as they are now; I don't remember it being a thing among 'daft teens'. I think you really need to find out precisely what your friend's sentence was for. He should be entirely forthcoming about the specifics -any obfuscation or reluctance to be transparent needs to be noted. It won't be in your best interest.

Sure he might have changed. You should still be prioritising your daughter though.

Way back in 2000 as if that excuses anything.

I’ve seen this same sentiment pop up repeatedly over the last few months. Somehow thinking that the world of 2000 was so radically different and possibly dangerous compared to now. It is so utterly disconnected from reality.

your ex may not be getting any traction on this arrest issue with the judge regarding the house sale, but if the issue is custody of your child, it hopefully will be taken seriously. It is relevant for consideration for custody and your ex would be well within his rights to challenge your ability to continue to be the primary residential parent.

No way would I give the ex any leverage here. Get rid of him, not worth it.

I would do a Sarah’s Law request to the Police, it’ll show SS that you are taking this seriously before you introduce him to your daughter.
Say that though, SS won’t be worried about a sentence 25 years ago unless it was serious violence or involved children. Speak to your social worker, they will support but also safeguard if needed

If he served 3 years, his sentence must have been at least 6 years (half usually served for good behaviour), so if it was knife crime, he MUST have stabbed someone, or been part of a group that did (under joint enterprise). The victim perhaps did not die for the sentence to be that length.

Although it was 25 years ago, you have an extremely vulnerable DC, who should not be exposed to someone who has the capacity to “snap” with a knife living in her home, or on very close proximity to her.

I have a DC with similar needs and whenever I do get a boyfriend I’ll be spending time with him at his house, and never bringing him to stay in the house with my non-verbal DC.

The biggest risk to children in the home is the presence of a step-parent. One who has this sort of historic conviction is an even bigger risk. Don’t do it OP, for your DC sake.

I do believe that people can change yes, but I wouldn’t be bringing an ex con into my child’s life. Absolutely no way. That doesn’t mean to say i’d think he was dangerous, or hadn’t changed, but when you’re a parent you have to hold yourself to very high standards who you bring into your children’s life. Especially so when they are more vulnerable.

Hope SS think that your child’s safety is more important than your love life, no wonder your ex is kicking up a fuss, chances are if you stay with the convicted knife crime criminal you’ll lose your child.

Well, carry on then 🤷‍♀️

It was obviously a very serious crime if he served 3 years for it. It wasn’t just a teenaged scuffle was it, he or someone he was with was carrying a knife. What exactly happened?

Even if he really has changed and poses no risk at all, given your situation with your ex I really can’t see why you’d make your life and your children’s lives more difficult by inviting trouble into it.

This. I wouldn't risk it.

3 years? I've known people get less for rape and manslaughter.

Oh dear, you're not a serious person. And streets "wheren't" rough in 2,000 for knife crime so your boyfriend is a special case.

Good luck with Social Services. I hope you need it.

I was 20 in 2000. Living in a northern post-industrial city. No - the streets weren’t rough (though the media was beginning to report more on knife crime).

You say he served 3 years - was this the full custodial sentence. 3 years is extremely worrying and even more so if the sentence was actually longer. Even 3 years away suggests something that is far, far worse than being a ‘daft teenager’.

Yes - people can and do change. But I would want to align what he did and his subsequent reflection on the harm he caused with the facts of the case.

You should get all information from all available sources to safeguard yourself and your vulnerable child. Why wouldn’t you?

I would assume the ‘got out of hand’ was someone getting stabbed in the said scuffle.

If it was gang related or just a silly fight then that is not as much of a concern.

Is this sarcasm...?

I think gang related violence is a concern and I wouldn't want to date a representative of that world.

Op, your daughter is too precious to mess around with this man

If I were in this situation I wouldn't date someone with a criminal record until my divorce and finances were passed by the Judge. I wouldn't play into my exes hands

You seem determined to downplay this and your language 'silly teenage stuff' and 'scuffle' is incorrect for somebody who served a three year sentence. you don't serve the full sentence on a first offence it's usually half the sentence so he must have been sentenced to six years unless she had a previous offence and only would have done 2/3. The fact the conviction is not spent and it's now 25 years later suggests it was extremely serious.
how does your ex know that the current partner has this conviction? of course he's going to use this knowledge if you found out his current partner had a conviction I have served three years in prison would you not mention this to social workers involved in your child's care?

if it was just you and you decided to take a risk and trust him and put down what was obviously a serious crime as silly kid stuff- That's you. But the fact that you're endangering your child is rightly going to ring alarm bells for social services.

Do you know what he was convicted of and have you verified it independently? Of course people can change but your minimisation of his conviction is worrying.

Tbh I wouldn’t risk the stability of my children’s housing on someone I’d just met and informing the SW should have been done as soon as your Ex knew, he was always going to use it against you.

Having worked with child protection for many years if there are no convictions in 25 years then along as your fully honest it will be ok. Whatever you do do not lie as this will instantly bring up red flags.

I would be scared to be honest.
Would never want him in the house.

Think of your DD, fgs!