Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

New partner has a historic conviction info on social services

94 replies

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 16:03

I have a new partner of over a year he has not been round my children. He has a conviction 25 years ago served 3 years for knife crime, daft teenager times no more convictions. My daughter has a severe special needs so has a disability social worker. I need to inform the social worker because its time to move my relationship forward in the next year, he will NOT meet my kids until I think its the right time.
my ex is currently taking me to court to force the sale of the family home that has been adapted for our daughter. He is using my new partners past against me in court but the judge is not interested in this issue. Any help would be appreciated

OP posts:
Zucker · 28/12/2025 17:49

So crack on then OP, I'm sure it'll all work out swimmingly. Laughing that you're trying to make out the mean streets of 2001 are wildly worse than anything happening today though. What you really mean was he was a scumbag carrying a knife who got caught and you're taking your relationship up a notch what ever that can mean without introducing kids, never mind a vunerable one. Crack on!

Can never have too many dramas on the go at one time, right?

soupyspoon · 28/12/2025 17:53

Do a Clares law application for yourself but if it was 25 years ago, and there is NOTHING more recent and I mean nothing, not even altercations or allegations or people phoning up about him and then not following through etc etc.....then no one is going to be interested in that.

happysinglemama · 28/12/2025 17:54

Do Clare's law if you're being serious

Lightuptheroom · 28/12/2025 18:00

Yes, it needs to be disclosed to your daughters social worker. They will then ask the police for all the information. You may be called to a disclosure meeting with a social worker if they feel that you dont actually have the full facts.
Yes, it's a spent conviction but the social worker needs to see that you are safeguarding your vulnerable child from this person. What steps are you willing to take and ultimately if they decide the risk is too high, then you'll need to be prepared to finish your relationship otherwise social services are within their rights to place your daughter on a protection plan as you're no longer her safe person and are knowingly putting her at risk. Yes people do change, but to put the sentence into context, a 17 year old has recently been given a 3 year custodial sentence for manslaughter so you need full details before deciding that it was just teenage behaviour.

OneShyQuail · 28/12/2025 18:02

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

A scuffle in the street is one thing. Carrying a knife and using it is quite another.
"Streets are rough" is not a justification. Clearly you have made your mind up and are looking for validation...dont think you'll get it here sorry

ItsameLuigi · 28/12/2025 18:04

Zucker · 28/12/2025 17:49

So crack on then OP, I'm sure it'll all work out swimmingly. Laughing that you're trying to make out the mean streets of 2001 are wildly worse than anything happening today though. What you really mean was he was a scumbag carrying a knife who got caught and you're taking your relationship up a notch what ever that can mean without introducing kids, never mind a vunerable one. Crack on!

Can never have too many dramas on the go at one time, right?

Edited

My dad went to prison in the late 80s for manslaughter. He was 15 I think and got 3 years, met my mum not long after being released and she chose to have kids with the criminal. Then he was a domestic abuser and traumatized all of us. He is a cunt and I hope he suffers for the rest of his life. These people don't change.

BeeCucumber · 28/12/2025 18:09

This relationship won’t end well OP. No one goes to prison for three years after a scuffle. Your partner admits to this crime. What else has he done that you don’t know about?

Tulipsriver · 28/12/2025 18:10

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

I believe people can change and should, when appropriate, be given a second chance.

But I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who has already demonstrated that they have the capacity for serious violence. That under the right circumstances they will use a weapon to hurt another person. Your vulnerable daughter's wellbeing is far more important than your partner's right to a second chance, or your desire for a relationship.

kenadams5 · 28/12/2025 18:10

OP: can anyone advise

MN: offer advice

OP: you’re all wrong. He’s changed.

Jesus wtf was the point?!

Obeseandashamed · 28/12/2025 18:13

I worked in child protection for over a decade. If it was 25 years ago, you’ve been honest about it with them and he’s never been in any trouble since then they’re unlikely to hold it against you.

GreenPoms · 28/12/2025 18:13

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

It’s not one mistake though. He was clearly carrying a knife for it to have happened in the first place. Every time he stepped out of his home with a knife was a mistake.

To have actually served 3 years his sentence must have been even longer. It is a serious crime and it won’t go well with SS if you minimise it, which is what you are doing here.

hardhatson · 28/12/2025 18:14

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

Personally for me, yes it would be a lifelong dealbreaker. I’ve never got into trouble with the police, never got into a scuffle let alone brought a knife to a fight. Why would I want a partner who has done that?

My parents raised me better than that. Simple as that. I therefore don’t want anyone like that being near my kids as I intend to instil my own family values as opposed to mixing in some random man who did those things. Regardless of whether he was a teenager or not. The boys at my school who did things like that were wayward and feral. They can partner up with women who are equally wayward and feral surely. Not my circus.

Obeseandashamed · 28/12/2025 18:14

I would however ask social services to conduct a full bang round check and Clare’s law reference. Be prepared to end the relationship if he’s not telling you the truth.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 28/12/2025 18:15

Basically he’s probably stabbed someone. I agree with a pp that these types don’t change.

Three years inside is quite considerable.

AllTheChatsAboutTea · 28/12/2025 18:16

Whilst I agree that people can change, I wouldn’t be taking the risk on a man who’d had a 3 year custodial sentence. You’ll never forgive yourself if harm comes to you and your children. There are plenty of other men out there who don’t pose such a risk.

myhaggisblewup · 28/12/2025 18:17

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

It's good that you are laughing now, because this could end in tears big time.
See you in a year or two on here whining because it all went to shit.
I feel sorry for your d as most of us probably do on here.
Still as you were...

angieloumc · 28/12/2025 18:17

You don’t want peoples advice you’ve made your mind up.

TheMorgenmuffel · 28/12/2025 18:18

Start by not minimising it as a daft little teenage thing.

Show them you understand that it was a serious crime and they may take your assessment of his current character more seriously.

Dismiss or minimise it and they won't.

Notmymarmosets · 28/12/2025 18:18

Honestly OP he may well have changed. People change. He may now be great. But I would not live with him if I had a vulnerable daughter.
It's too big a risk for you to take on her behalf. If you had no dependents it would be up to you to make your own choices and you alone live with the consequences. But making that choice for someone else will never be okay.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for him if he has changed. I'm sorry you don't get a happy ever after, but still NO. While you are in charge of her, you have to prioritise her.

PaperMachePanda · 28/12/2025 18:18

OP have you had a disclosure on him done?

If not, you should.

Go from there.

PermanentTemporary · 28/12/2025 18:19

Yes people can change. I’d wish him well in life, in a place well away from my exceptionally vulnerable daughter.

IWantToSneeze · 28/12/2025 18:20

Ash9435 · 28/12/2025 17:32

Thanks! So no one can change in 25 years then? It was a scuffle that got out of hand with a knife, streets where rough back in the 2000 again while teenagers are daft and do stupid things! Just because someone has made ONE mistake wont make me hold it against them? I have had several second chances in my time, some of these comments made me laugh!

You are minimising this to an alarming degree. It wasn't a "scuffle", he went out with a knife, he will have done so many times, and stabbed a man. Probably in pre-arranged fight, certainly a turf war.

To have served three years he must have been sentenced to more than that.

And yet here you are going "Oh lol it was just a daft teenager you are all meanies" 🙄

hoodiemassive · 28/12/2025 18:20

Please listen to the comments on this thread instead of laughing at them.

Heathotstuff · 28/12/2025 18:20

Only2daystogo · 28/12/2025 16:28

Have you asked the police for Sarah/Clare law disclosure?

Edited

Was about to suggest this! Then make decision on this

Eyeshadow · 28/12/2025 18:35

Yes of course (most) people can change.

The issue would be the reasons behind his crime.

If it was sexually motivated or because a gf made him angry - then that is likely ingrained in him and I’d be concerned.

If it was gang related or just a silly fight then that is not as much of a concern.

I would be looking at the type of crime, the reasons behind it and how he’s been since that.
This is what SS will also be looking at.