New partner has a historic conviction info on social services

[Ash9435]

I have a new partner of over a year he has not been round my children. He has a conviction 25 years ago served 3 years for knife crime, daft teenager times no more convictions. My daughter has a severe special needs so has a disability social worker. I need to inform the social worker because its time to move my relationship forward in the next year, he will NOT meet my kids until I think its the right time.
my ex is currently taking me to court to force the sale of the family home that has been adapted for our daughter. He is using my new partners past against me in court but the judge is not interested in this issue. Any help would be appreciated

You’ve got a very low bar op! Why are you wanting to hook up with a crim? At least get the actual details of what happened ( and not from him)!

How do you know what actually happened? Have you seen a transcript of the sentencing hearing? You can't safely assume that what your partner has told you is an accurate or complete account.

Yep, definitely move him forward, out of the door and far away from your DC.

Because she wasn't looking for advice on how to actually safeguard her child, she was looking for advice on how to defend herself against her husband who is quite rightly concerned. OP I'm sorry but you're being utterly daft having him in your life and the fact you're laughing it off as "he's changed" and "teenage stuff" is telling of your lack of judgement and ability to safeguard yourself and your daughter. I hope to God SS get involved before someone gets hurt.

Curious about why you're required to inform the social worker about the relationship? Is there a history of you getting into bad relationships that put your daughter at risk?

If court does force the sale of the house please don't feel your only option is to move in with this violent ex convict. There are safer options for you and your daughter. Speak to the social worker about housing and put a plan in place.

Surely you wouldn’t date them as you wouldn’t want to expose yourself, or your children to a violent person who thinks stabbing people is okay.

OP, I really think you should read this posters response carefully.
Put your child first ffs! Some women have such low self esteem that they put up with any old shit. It’s baffling

Streets weren’t rough in 2000.

If anything they are worse now.

Ah yes, the old ‘it was just a silly scuffle’ argument. And just how many people have been stabbed to death in ‘just a silly scuffle’? According to Chat GPT there have been between 5000 and 6000 deaths due to knife crimes in the UK since 2000. In the last year there have been over 300 stabbing.
Knife crime is abhorrent.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that of course someone can change in 25 years. You've been very sensible keeping him away from your kids, that speaks volumes about your sense of responsibility towards them. What I wouldn't do is try to downplay it to social services as they will think better of you if you agree how serious it was. Let them know you believe he has changed and put his past behind him.

You’re more trusting than I am. I’d have ended the relationship when I found out. It’s hard to say why. I think it’s a type of person who carries a knife and gets into fights. They might well have a temper, be volatile. Literally none of my friends or family would or have ever done that. It isn’t nothing. I’d agree with a pp, why is your bar set so low.

Sounds like OP has a disability social worker due to her DD’s needs, and nothing more. I imagine she has to inform the disability social worker about people who live with/spend time with her DD.

I’d never heard of this type of social worker previously, however I found out about this social work team after my DC was diagnosed with autism as part of the extra support the local authority offer.

Yes, people can do stupid shit as teenagers and go on to lead law-abiding adult lives. But at the very least you need to do a Clare’s Law application. You should not be risking your child’s safety.

ok, but why does he need to move in. Why do you need a next step.

you need to focus on your child and your home. Can you afford to buy him out? What your plan or solution to your housing issue. What is your counter offer to DH. Why is your relationship at the forefront. If it’s affecting keeping your DDs home put it on the back burner

You don't know what other stuff he has done, he was caught once and it was serious enough for a 3 year prison sentence, they don't do that lightly. Has he been in other fights? Does he have anger issues? You have known him a year, you know nothing. Let someone who doesn't have vulnerable children give him a chance. This is not something to be laughing about.

How many years in prison did you get for your 'crimes' when you were young and stupid? How many people did you stab?

If streets were rough, it was because of men like op's boyfriend. Not some kind of excuse to go stabbing people

Of course someone can change in 25 years, but they also might not. Why take the risk? I think I'd rather be in a relationship with one of the gazillions of men in the world who haven't ever gone to prison for knife crime, but maybe I'm just picky

Family court judge doesn't care and they're the ultimate arbiter, not the judgemental people on this thread. Agree important not to minimise to SW, but also important to let her know the judge is unconcerned. Both judge and SW will have seen far worse.

I will never for the life of me understand why so many women are so desperate for less than mid dick they’d even consider someone who has been in prison for knife crime! Ffs!