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Original poster

Living separately - over 50s

108 replies

ThatRosePlayer · 26/12/2025 20:41

I have been with my partner for over two years now. Both in our 50s. I’m divorced, he’s been separated for 20+ years, didyget divorced because of a joint business.
We have our own houses within 40 mins drive of each other. Yesterday he started hinting at moving in together.
but I am happy the way we are, I like my own space and do not miss the ‘domestic bliss’. I was very clear from the beginning that I didn’t want to live together. I don’t want to lose him but living together is not what I want.

has anyone else been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
MrsDoomsPatterson1 · 27/12/2025 16:21

ThatRosePlayer · 27/12/2025 16:12

Haha, I sleep much better by myself or with my dog too. And he gets it because he is similar. As I explained earlier today, he said he wanted to open a conversation so a false alarm but it has been invaluable to get everyone’s perspectives which also reassured me that I am not unique in liking this type of arrangement.
yes, living closer would be great but if you think about stamp duty for him to move (I like the community where I am), it would be a lot to move. Perhaps he could rent his house and rent something here.
The divorce situation dies bug me but I wouldn’t be looking at being in his will (why would I?), so not a deal breaker.

Show quote history

It might be though if he is intensive care or similar - you could be pushed out

Fernsrus · 27/12/2025 16:59

A friend said her relative wouldn’t move in with a man because she didn’t want an old man to look after her!

Liveinthewoods80 · 27/12/2025 18:26

Pavementworrier · 26/12/2025 20:47

He's not your partner if you don't live together, he's a guy you shag and socialise with

Otherwise I say do as you please

Really?? So what are over-50s supposed to call their non-resident 'partner', for want of a better word - their boyfriend? Which sounds pretty juvenile.
Their lover? Too weird.
Their shag buddy? Too rude. On every level.

Why do you have to live under the same roof in order for someone to qualify as "partner"?

How odd. I know married couples who don't even live in the same city who have very strong relationships. I know of two solid marriages where the couples even live in different countries.

NettleTea · 27/12/2025 18:28

Pavementworrier · 26/12/2025 20:47

He's not your partner if you don't live together, he's a guy you shag and socialise with

Otherwise I say do as you please

Ive been with my partner for 25 years and we dont live together. He is more longterm in my life than many marriages, so I dont agree with you.

we are both late 50s and its worked best for us like this

Original poster
ThatRosePlayer · 27/12/2025 21:52

MrsDoomsPatterson1 · 27/12/2025 16:21

It might be though if he is intensive care or similar - you could be pushed out

Show quote history

True, didn’t consider the intensive care/funeral situation. Food for thought, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatRosePlayer · 27/12/2025 21:54

Astra53 · 27/12/2025 17:36

Show quote history

Thank you for sharing. Articulates my thoughts better than I could ever explain myself.
this jumped out in particular: ‘I can’t get enough of these stories, of the reminders, as with LAT, that relationships are not made of stone, that they are plastic and can be moulded or broken into brand new shapes. I admire, from afar, all these people’s unwillingness to compromise on the only life they will ever lead.’

OP posts:
MrsDoomsPatterson1 · 27/12/2025 22:48

Everyone should do what suits them and not what others would do if it isn’t what they want 😍

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