OMG The Ick, what gave you the ultimate ick?

[ChaliceinWonderland]

So boyfriend of a year ate his toastie from the plate by holding plate to face and pushing sandwich in, no hands. I cannot therefore unsee this.
Tbh our sex life is , let's say, poor at best. This has really finished me off. I'm having the massive ick.! Regale me with your equally dire stories!

😂

An ex who didn’t shower for two weeks at a time
The same ex who ate tomato ketchup with EVERYTHING
Sloppy kissers
taking two hours to put makeup on, even if we were going to Tesco.

it’s not only men who give the Ick! Z

Living abroad with mine brought out the worst in him. He turned into an arrogant western shit who loved his ‘status’.
The final ick was him wearing mirror sunglasses in his open top car and deliberately driving fast to scatter a group of older women who were slowly crossing our driveway.
I can still hear him muttering ‘fuck out of my way’.

These are hilarious!

Who was the rock star??

@KiwiDollar

Haha, if you look again, I said “rock star sort of guy”

They were a local band, very very good, would pack out wherever they played, and he was the lead singer/guitarist. His name was Mark (his real first name was not rockstar- style at all) He had the shoulder length shaggy hair and dressed “the part” 😉

Oh Dear God! I’m dying on your behalf!

The UK answer to Magnum P.I 😆

Washed his bick and dalls in the sink after sex. 🤢

One guy kept ferrets and the first time we had sex I realised his sweat stank of ferret.

One ex - I looked at his legs and realised they were superskinny with bony, pointy knees. Instant ick that grew and grew every time I saw his legs.

Went on a few dates with someone. Third date he introduced me to his toy minions he kept strapped into the back seats of his car.

The guy who left a little bloody patch on my pillows from a scab on his head that wouldn't heal
The guy with the beige short-sleeved jumper that showed off his moobs
The guy who had scrawny bird like ankles
The guy who I had to tell him he had a boogie stuck in his moustache 🤢

Did he light a cigar and ask you to pour him a brandy? 😂

I’d have respected him more if he had! 😂

Yes I want to know too !

Re-read my original post and my reply to Kiwi Dollar —

I wrote “rockstar type of guy …. As in he styled himself to look like a rock star …the clothes & longish hair.

He was lead singer and the front man of a very popular band in my home town in 1980, 81 etc.

Last person I was seeing.

He came to stay over for one night, it was a last minute thing so he came over late, and we were planning on going to a theme park the next day and then he would go home after.

He parked his car, and he was walking towards my door when I saw he had a full blown suitcase and was dragging it behind but you could tell there was hardly anything in it from the way he was dragging it. He came in, went straight to my room, unpacked everything, and when he unpacked his tops, which were normal t shirts, he started steaming them with his steamer he brought, put them on hangers and hung them up in my wardrobe. Bare in mind we are going to a theme park not a fancy dinner. He then proceeded to put on his dressing gown and slippers.

It just gave me the ick and when he went home that was the last time I saw him.

This thread has made me laugh so much I am crying

My ex would sit on the sofa and eat 6 hugh Bratwurst sausages smothered in Ketchup, with his huge belly bursting out of his shirt.
His idea of foreplay would be to spit on his hand, shudder
I could go on

A couple of sex icks for you all to enjoy:

One ex who used to change his rhythm throughout sex. So he'd go slow for a few thrusts, then out of nowhere be like a hummingbird for 5 or six thrusts, then medium speed for a few, then the jackhammer. He was hung like a hummingbird too.

Another ex who had premature ejaculation. This wasn't such a big deal as he would do other things afterwards to get me off. All good, you might think. Except he would start making "girly" sighs and moans and fake sex noises while touching me. NO.

Several men I have been with who thought it was ok during sex to deliver a single hard whack to my arse.

😂😂😂

I like ‘em quiet, too. 🤫

I don't mind noise, but make manly noises! Don't try to sound like a woman when you're a six foot hairy bloke!

😂😂😂

'Hung like a hummingbird' 😂😂😂

I went out with a bloke that wasn't my usual type. He was sort of giving Rod Stewart vibes. He even had the bird shit highlights.

We were in a bar one night and he went to the toilet. A bloke came over to me and said, ''what the fuck are you doing with him?''

I was a bit stunned, I don't even remember what I said. Unfortunately, I started asking myself the same thing. The nagging doubts I'd squashed and the icks* I could no longer ignore. Most of all, it creeped me out when I discovered he'd been carrying a torch for me for years and I was the only one who didn't know.

The whole house of cards collapsed.

*Long, yellow toe nails that reminded me of an owl's feet.
*That hair he missed on his throat when shaving. Back lit by the TV, I saw it rise and fall as he was talking.
*Alternating the same two tops every weekend
*Every time I opened the front door to him, he would look me up and down and sort of twist around a bit to see a side view. He never once said I looked nice. Not once.

*The shoes that over time had moulded to the shape of his big toe.
*A flat arse. Totally flat.
*I felt sick to my stomach when he nonchalantly stated that my vaguju was 'sopping wet' the night before. I felt a little nauseous even just typing that.
*The shit he left in my toilet
*Worst of all he somehow misinterpreted something I said as a proposal. He said yes and had our whole lives planned out in mere moments. Meanwhile I'm wondering how the fuck I'd got into this mess.

@AquaForce ’Bird Shit Hilights’ is up there with the best things I have ever read, what a beautiful, perfect and hilarious description. 🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

We used to call them bird shit streaks in the 80s but no one has called highlights streaks for decades 😂

Yes!
Im crying with laughter, I’ve woken the dog up🤣🤣