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Original poster

OMG The Ick, what gave you the ultimate ick?

289 replies

ChaliceinWonderland · 11/12/2025 22:15

So boyfriend of a year ate his toastie from the plate by holding plate to face and pushing sandwich in, no hands. I cannot therefore unsee this.
Tbh our sex life is , let's say, poor at best. This has really finished me off. I'm having the massive ick.! Regale me with your equally dire stories!

OP posts:
Zov · 15/12/2025 10:02

@lilypetals · 13/12/2025 11:48

He used to eat "breakfast in a tin"

He use to have long hair, had his pony tail cut off and then kept it in his bedroom like some kind of weird hairy trophy pet

He used to ask me for a "cuddle" in a baby voice which made me want to vomit my guts up

He bit his nails down until they were so tiny that his finger started growing over them

He used to brag constantly about his prowess in bed. It turned out to be more disappointing than a vegan pizza

Oh fucking hell 😂 He sounds awful....... I feel queasy!

Also, I know it's a well used phrase on here, but I genuinely did almost spit out my coffee at that last line.. 😂 Never heard this before. Turned out to be more disappointing than a vegan pizza! 😆

Zov · 15/12/2025 10:10

BackHomeForChristmas · 14/12/2025 23:45

Totally agree with you! If ever DP dies or leaves me, he will be replaced by a couple of German Shepherd Dogs and no other men for as long as I live!
Ive dropped lucky with him, he’s very clean and tidy, has no weird habits and we mooch along nicely together.
But he’s the last - there’s far too many dirty deviants out there!

Show quote history

Oh yes indeed. My DH is a bit lazy, and annoying sometimes giving a running commentary of what he's watching on tv (or what he's looking at on his phone,) whilst I'm posting on Mumsnet trying to read a classy novel. But he is clean and tidy, he moves his own shit, he can be funny, and is caring and considerate, and he has excellent hygiene, and has never demanded any weird/nasty sex, or displayed any of the behaviour mentioned on here by some posters...

But as you say, if he dies - or leaves - no WAY am I ever having another man in my house, or in my life. I couldn't be arsed. If I could go back in time 35 years, I wouldn't change a thing, I would still marry him. I enjoy being married/being in a couple, but I wouldn't do it again, if he died or left. I would stay on my own. The horror stories I read on here about men are terrifying! 😂

.

BaconMassive · 15/12/2025 11:24

Professional northerner is brilliant.

Everyothernamewasalreadyinuse · 15/12/2025 12:21

The first time i stayed over, after doing the deed he jumped out of bed and gave a unprompted performance display of how good he was with num-chuks , including sound effects that were something out of a badly dubbed Jackie Chan film

AquaForce · 15/12/2025 12:38

Zov · 14/12/2025 22:17

I was dating a bloke when I was about 17 (he was 20.) I had been a chubby younger teen (about 11 stone at 5 ft 4,) and had lost 2 stone in about 5 months ... I had been 9 stone for about 4 months when I met him. I and felt pretty good about myself. I was toned too as I had exercised a lot...

On about our 7th date (and almost 4 weeks together,) we were sitting in the cinema watching a film, and on the 'intermission' he grabbed me around the waist and squeezed my waist (my 25" waist!) and said 'you're quite a bit fatter than my last girlfriend.' Just so matter of fact, as if he was telling me my zip was undone at the back of my dress, or I had my cardigan on inside out.

I was like Shock but speechless... He went to go back to the seats in the auditorium, and I said I needed the loo but would be back soon. The more I thought about it (when standing there shellshocked) the angrier and more upset I got. I walked out and left. Went home.

Despite his protestations and insisting he meant nothing by it, I refused to see him again. I got the 'ick' all right. Any 'man' who can say that to a woman/girl is nothing but a nasty, negging cunt.

Oh that's awful. Sometimes I wonder if they say these things to make us feel like shit on purpose. We know that a 25'' waist is not big but it can be hard to shake off a nasty comment even when we know it's bullshit. ❤

I was once sitting on the edge of the bed in my underwear. He said if I joined a gym I'd ''soon lose that'' as he nodded towards my stomach. I was the same height and size as you at the time.

Macaroni46 · 15/12/2025 13:47

sidebirds · 14/12/2025 22:51

How long was the relationship with this 'catch'? 🤔

Show quote history

Actually 3 different guys.

The wet underpants one, 3 months.

The couldn’t finish one, 4 months.

The licking wooden spatula one, 6 months.

Merrycrimssssxx · 15/12/2025 23:23

Gardener82 · 13/12/2025 21:49

Happily married now but I’ve had some shockers.

  1. Lying about random bullshit that didn’t even matter, seemed compulsive.
  2. Long toenails
  3. Licking his Plate.
  4. THE ULTIMATE OF ALL ICKS.. I was seeing a guy for a few months, gorgeous to talk to, look at, good cook, job but the sex was terrible and he couldn’t cum. One night I was determined to fix this, riding away like my life depended on it and it did the job (wish I hadn’t now) so just as his about to finish, he closed his eyes and SCREAMED…. Yes! Yes! Yes! Ooohhhh that’s it, right there, mmmmmmm, mum, mum, mummieeeeeee. Fuck my life.

Oh my God. I just howled at the 4th one!! Made my day hahahaha 😂😂😂😂

dollyblue01 · 16/12/2025 06:44

When I was younger went back to his and he said his dad was a joiner and made his bed frame, it was mahogany and looked like a coffin, terrible sleep that night, never went back.
Another never made a sound when he having sex , even when he was finishing, it was weird and used to put me off.

sidebirds · 16/12/2025 19:31

Macaroni46 · 15/12/2025 13:47

Actually 3 different guys.

The wet underpants one, 3 months.

The couldn’t finish one, 4 months.

The licking wooden spatula one, 6 months.

Show quote history

🤯 I hope you have had better luck since. 🙏

Terrytheweasel · 16/12/2025 19:35

Pigeonsandgiraffees · 11/12/2025 22:29

My ex was a backside exploder - every single time. And every single time, he left it for me to clean.

I do not miss him at all.

And I haven't dated since because I can't face whatever form of nonsense there will inevitably be to have to deal with.

So many of us women are in absolutely no hurry to ruin the blissful peace we discover when we quit dating men!

I honestly shudder when I think about any of them; it's terrible, really.

Show quote history

isn’t sad but I am always so grateful (in my head) that my current boyfriend sits down to pee, only spends the time needed on the toilet for a number 2, showers daily and flosses daily.

CalzoneOnLegs · 16/12/2025 19:37

@Crikeyalmighty I hate that power of love song, they really let us down with that one, from the band that made welcome to the pleasure dome which is such a fabulous tune

BackHomeForChristmas · 16/12/2025 23:17

Those of you with the sexual ‘silent finishers’ think yourselves lucky!

I had one who made the weirdest noise, like air coming out at high pressure, a sort of very high pitched squeal… I imagine that all the dogs in the bloody neighbourhood were woken up by him!
He was a big chap (heavily built, I mean😱 ) and it just sounded like he was deflating…

I didn’t see him again.

Crikeyalmighty · 16/12/2025 23:22

CalzoneOnLegs · 16/12/2025 19:37

@Crikeyalmighty I hate that power of love song, they really let us down with that one, from the band that made welcome to the pleasure dome which is such a fabulous tune

Yes it’s an odd one - I don’t actually mind the song but those words though were just so bloody odd at that moment - mind you he proved to be a bit odd generally once his feet were under the table

BackHomeForChristmas · 16/12/2025 23:34

Oh, just remembered another one…
Royal wedding Day, 1981… ended up at a ‘minor local celebs’ flat after a day on the drink due to Charles and Di getting married.
This bloke played in a reasonably decent local group, good-looking rock star sort of guy. Flat was in the town centre, so I thought it’d be nice…

Dear God, what a filthy pit it was! It smelt like damp & death, and I wanted to go home immediately. The (dirty) bed was just a (dirty) mattress on the floor… my hand touched the sheet - it was stiff and crusty and stained!

I made an excuse about the time and shot out of there like my life depended upon it.

Refused to go and see his band again, and watched as he ploughed his way through the female population of the town…He’d be into his 70s now.

coronade · 16/12/2025 23:34

He was 57 but called his mum, mummy and every time he needed the loo he told me he was going for a poosies 💩🤢🤢🤢
I really didn’t need to know and who calls it that!!
He would then leave the bathroom door open with the loo seat lid up 🙄🙄🙄
He also had transparent white skin and wore lilac pants. Need I say more.

Giraffehaver · 17/12/2025 00:29

This is so shallow but I got the ick when a fly landed on his bald head

AquaForce · 17/12/2025 00:45

Giraffehaver · 17/12/2025 00:29

This is so shallow but I got the ick when a fly landed on his bald head

😂😂

sidebirds · 17/12/2025 00:56

Giraffehaver · 17/12/2025 00:29

This is so shallow but I got the ick when a fly landed on his bald head

relatable 😮‍💨

ladyland · 17/12/2025 03:28

Joeydoesntsharefood25 · 13/12/2025 22:52

This thread has confirmed my decision that if my husband ever drops dead I will never date again, unless its a woman.

That’s what I said…..and did!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/12/2025 03:58

coronade · 16/12/2025 23:34

He was 57 but called his mum, mummy and every time he needed the loo he told me he was going for a poosies 💩🤢🤢🤢
I really didn’t need to know and who calls it that!!
He would then leave the bathroom door open with the loo seat lid up 🙄🙄🙄
He also had transparent white skin and wore lilac pants. Need I say more.

How did you get together in the first place?! 😵‍💫

TheyreStillGoingWithThemPlumsKerr · 17/12/2025 05:19

Giraffehaver · 17/12/2025 00:29

This is so shallow but I got the ick when a fly landed on his bald head

A lot of these are very funny, but this one really had me laughing! 😂

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 17/12/2025 06:47

His horrendous moods.

coronade · 17/12/2025 06:57

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/12/2025 03:58

How did you get together in the first place?! 😵‍💫

Edited
Show quote history

Met online. It takes a few weeks for the real joys to surface. 🙄

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/12/2025 07:12

coronade · 17/12/2025 06:57

Met online. It takes a few weeks for the real joys to surface. 🙄

Show quote history

Oh, god. 🤮

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/12/2025 07:15

I'll just say this about my Ick experience:
Jack. Hammer. 🫨