Me (33F) and my fiance (39M) have been together nearly 7 years and are planning our wedding for summer next year. We've also been family planning, after having some miscarriages, we've had appointments for health checks etc. My fiance lost his job in April but has successfully found another he is enjoying.
Last year we were in couples counselling because I had seen on his phone he was on only fans. He deleted the account before I could even see what he was doing on it.. he said he was only on it out of curiosity.
Anyway, we work through it. And go ahead with planning this wedding.
A couple of weeks ago I see on his laptop, not through snooping, it was just on his open laptop in our office as I passed it. I see hes got a secret Instagram account, following loads of explicit models and he has been messaging these models flirty stuff like "lovely thighs"... The account is a random username and no profile picture. It is also set up using a different email address so it doesn't link to anything on his phone.
Again, after working through counselling last year, he's betrayed my trust. We were both happily planning a wedding and very excited for our next chapter, I feel completely blindsided by it. He promised me he'd never put me through this again after the only fans saga, and here we are. I know he loves me, I don't doubt that. But he's not respected my boundaries. He wants to work on this in counselling again but I don't think I keep going through this. He says that losing his job was a stress trigger that causes this behaviour. He says that I'm throwing our life together away too readily but I feel like I don't have a choice after all this happening again.
Not sure I have a question, but anyone got any advice or experience with this kind of thing. I do love him very much and I don't doubt he loves me, we do have a lovely relationship, I just don't understand this behaviour.
TL;DR we are planning to get married next year but my fiance has broken my trust again by making a secret Instagram account and messaging naked models. There's a lot of love there but I'm struggling to see a way forward.