Wife says I don’t make "any" effort for us

[marcusantonio]

I’m M35 and my wife is F31, and we’ve been having some issues lately.
We have two kids, and I work long hours, usually 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Friday. We usually spend Saturday afternoons together as a family, and I try to make sure we have at least one date night a month, just the two of us. On Sundays I manage a golf team, so I’m out from about 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
For the past year, my wife has been complaining (mostly to her female friends) that I never make plans, that everything is on her, and that I just go along with things without really caring. She makes it sound like I’m disengaged. Also, she is upset at me.
Sometimes I get a Sunday off and I take her with me when I can, but it still feels like she doesn’t believe I’m putting in effort. Now she’s planning a weekend trip for us. I told her I don’t think we really need another trip since we went on one six months ago. She still wants to go, and she’s planning to take her mother and the kids.
I told her she can go if she wants, but I also said again that I don’t think this trip is necessary.
I'm actually doing good as a man, but I don't know why her behaviour is something like this

This is either a reverse or totally pointless clickbait.

Initially I laughed at this. Either you’re a wind up or you’re completely naive.
Then I read your last paragraph. I could take you to task for so much in this. Who do you think you are?

This can’t be real - surely no one could give their family 0.5 days a week and think they are a great family man.

My husband was captain of the local rugby team but was clear to them that once our son was born he was done. I’m sure some could argue that he let the team down, but his priority was me and the baby, as it should be.

This wouldn’t work for me at all. You are basically saying you leave half a day on weekends for your family. What are you doing saturday morning?

I wouldn’t mind so much when kids are older but when they are younger they do need input and your wofe is carrying the can for the whole family at the moment.

Does she work as well?
You’re not at home in the week so all the parenting falls to her
your hobby eats up all of Sunday
can you not see how she may feel the way she does?

Do you think you are a good husband and father?

Do you spend quality time with your family developing and maintaining relationships?

Do you tell others you are a father and a family man?

Presently you give about 7% (0.5/7 days) of your time to your family. Does that sound like a sufficient investment to maintain a relationship? You dedicate more time to your golf buddies. Is it any wonder your wife feels distant and unimportant? It's because she is unimportant to you.

What memories do you think your children will have of you? Do you think they will maintain a relationship with you once they're adults (separate to when they see their mum)?

Men really are this selfish and clueless that they are

Op you are a man this is mumsnet.
You won't win.
You will be wrong no matter what.
You should not have a hobby.
You will never do enough.
You will never pay enough.
You will never be good enough.
However if it was a women all would be on her side.

😂😂😂

Would you be happy with it?

Seriously?

You don’t sound interested at all.

Is she ok with 100% of the parentung being on her 6 days a week @marcusantonio ?

Your job is not very conducive to family life can you change jobs to something that allows you to step up with your parenting responsibilties. Your working those hours must severely impact her career options.

You are taking the piss to be out all day on a Sunday too.

Do you honestly think 1 afternoon a weeks parenting is enough?
Or are you just women bashing to excuse a shit man's shitty behaviour

If this post isn't a wind up, I hope you're comfortable with the fact that your wife and children will move on from you. Wind your neck in on trying to police what your wife does with her time while you're ignoring them all too, I'd be taking a damn sight more holidays than twice a year.😆😆😆😆

I bet the 9-8 working hours include 'networking' (i.e. pub) too LOL.

My god, I hope she gets herself together to leave you soon. What you wrote is SO self interested myopic. I put up with someone like you for far too long. Tell her to post so we can support her in divorcing you.

No.
He's delusional
The divorce will 'come out of nowhere' obviously...

This has GOT to be a reverse. Nobody could surely be this deluded, half a day a week with family versus a full day of hobbies? Nah

How old are your kids?

If my DH worked those long hours and went off a full day every weekend to do a hobby I’d be seriously considering going it alone.

If this isn’t a joke, you either need to give up the golf or you’ll be losing your wife and kids!

So you get one full day a week to dedicate to your hobby. Which day of the week does your wife get to engage in non family commitments that exist purely for her on personal enjoyment/fulfilment ?

You are delusional.

Is this post a joke? I'd expect divorce papers quite soon. Will you be looking after the kids 50/50 when you are divorced? Because if you are your comfortable life is about to change drastically. No more golf for you.

She'd be better off leaving you and then you having the kids every weekend. She'd actually get more time to rest and recover and enjoy her own interests. Do better or at least don't cry when she finally realises you're selfish and choose yourself over the kids and her.

Is this a reverse because nobody can be this delusional.

😀