What would you make of this msg…

[Nameuser321]

These are not the exact words btw…
this was sent after a night out.

sorry my performance was shit
don’t worry i get anxiety sometimes too

this was between 2 men after a group night out

Screams sex to me too. If darts etc, would think othe words would be used eg 'playing' .. def not performance. Wouldn't use performance for kareoke either, it's not as if it's something he would have been rehearsing for weeks! Hope am wrong OP - but sex is the thing that jump to my mind.

Why so cryptic op. Are you thinking homosexual activity, and that’s why being so cryptic, people are having to work hard to get additional info. Is it a partner, son, brother?

Meh I doubt it, I think thr response would not be, don’t worry I get anxiety too, it would be dong worry it was fab or something.

I do! And my partner, we play quite a bit of darts and pool though.

Could it maybe be ‘performance’ in a dramatic reaction sense. Ie this person reacted in a way that was a bit OTT, melodramatic or just a bit shit. In this context could be that the person feels a bit bad for mishandling their response when the other person shared something related to their anxiety?

Yes that’s another way of interpreting it I hadn’t thought about, I certainly wouldn’t be thinking sex unless I already had suspicions!

I agree with pp's - there is no context.

It could be a personal joke or something like that.

Did you look at the males phone? Was it just lying around open on the chat? Is it your dad, brother, partner.... Cousin? Can you set the scene so people have more understanding of the situation?

Im sorry i just wanted some opinions before i run with my thoughts but im thinking what @lostintranslation148 said
I’ve never heared him used the term performance before

more context
i found half a viagra well a different brand
on the floor the following morning

**Which wasn’t used to be with me

I wouldn't think anything of it because I don’t suspect my husband is gay. But clearly you have some sort of suspicions about him

As a bloke i wouldn't read much into it. It's a term I would use if I wasn't on top form on a night out e.g bit quiet, or got a bit pissed quite early in the evening

However...... I'm guessing op has other concerns to have been checking anyway, and the reference to viagra is a bit odd. Do people only take half a tablet?

Well given your update OP I'm afraid you know he has had sex with someone, not you.
Given he has been careless enough to leave the viagra lying about for you to find are you going to ask him whether he has something to tell you about last night? You would be fully justified after finding that without having even seen the message.

Yeah I do get it in that context - but I think that's it, if he was playing 'seriously' eg a team match or something, but he wasn't he was out for a night's drinking.

You wouldnt' be sending messages 'worried' about your performance if you were just messing around on a casual night out with friends and nor would the other person have responded that way.

Whatever his performance was for it was for something that mattered more .. and the absence of some drama performance that's been rehearsed it still screams sex to me.

With the extra info, it does sound like sex to me.

Really?
also theres been another occasion hes taken a tablet but ive not seen him leave the house so could it be something online as it certainly wasn’t to use with me
this was weeks back , i know because i seen the hidden packet and have been counting how many were missing

I immediately thought sex. Could be with a man or a woman, he could have bunked off the boys night altogether.

The half viagra would encourage my suspicions. Sorry OP :-(

How's the relationship generally? Has he got form? Something made you look at his phone.

I think it’s worth asking him and I hope it’s not what you think

Its a rubbish relationship anyway
verbal abuse/ emotional abuse narcissistic
not been sleeping together months

So, online perhaps? That makes sense.

Are you sure the other person is male?

Either way, given the viagra update, I would assume he’s fucking someone else.

Can you separate?

Then save yourself the hassle of confronting him about this and get out anyway. Work on the basis he hasn't been faithful and get yourself checked our at the GUM clinic. You're worth so much more than this.

What help do you need to dump him / leave him? Do you live together?

OP you don't need any more reasons to leave, you obviously already have a million. End it and don't worry about what the hell he is up to. Do get an STD test though because he could be up to all sorts.

I think the exact wording would be helpful here op but you obviously have your reasons for not using it.

given your update I would use this as the final straw. You don’t deserve to put up with any of that. Let him be whoever be wants to be, you aren’t getting anything out of the so called relationship. Are there children involved/living together etc? I hope you’ve got some real life support

I am a man and your first paragraph was my first thought. Sounds like the first man got too drunk and was sick or something, and the second man is making a joke out of it