My husband and I have been having problems for many years and this has come to a head this year. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 2 children, 12 and 10.
In the last 4 years I’ve had cancer twice. He has tried but I haven’t found him to the be the support I’d hoped he would be. For reference I’ve needed surgery and do not feel confident about my appearance.
He has anger issues and quickly goes to shouting. He never touches me, hugs me, shows me any intimacy or affection.
Anyway, I’ve spoken to him about this. He has basically said he doesn’t love me, but does care about me. He has no desires for intimacy with me but thinks we can be good companions. He believes staying together as friends will provide the kids with a stable home.
He has says he has no desires to be super happy, just content, and our marriage gives him this contentment. He also suggested if we divorced it would probably be game over for him, possibly suicide.
I genuinely don’t know what to make of all this. In a way I am pleased he has been honest and feel relieved that I know what our marriage ‘is’ (and isn’t). Part of me thinks I can live with him as a friend for the sake of the kids. I feel so daunted by the idea of separating and so sad on behalf of the kids.