Condoms in DH room.Im post menopausal

[Thevegetarianchef]

Condoms in DHS room and I'm post menopausal.
I came home from work an hour after DH.
Tidying up I put something in his room and there were two condom packets open on the floor.
On further investigation I find a box of condoms with 4 missing and lube under his bedside unit.
I calmly ask why he has them and he said you won't have sex with me!!.
I asked him if he had a posh wNK to which he said he used the condoms as he had a circumcision a couple of months ago and he is still sore down below this is true as he has to go to the GP a couple of weeks ago.
He got cream to use which hasn't worked.
Surely a condom can't stay on once and erection has passed in my experience.
No we haven't had sex in ages I just don't believe the condom for comfort story either.

You think he had someone back to his room (?) in your joint home?

Why does he have his own room/why aren’t you having sex?

If he's leaving packets open on the floor in your bedroom then he's not trying to hide anything is he. He sounds like he is making a point - not a nice one - but it doesn't sound like potential cheating to me. All of the paraphernalia is in your bedroom and left in an obvious place to start an argument...

I don't understand his reasoning for wearing a condom? To keep on whilst the cream is on? Like you say though it wouldn't stay on unless erect. Also why is he hiding lube under the bedside unit? Maybe like other poster said that he's doing it for effect?

We haven't had sex in ages as I'm post menopausal and lost my sex drive completely.
He already had ED caused by medication for the last decade so it all seemed a bit pointless.

How does he feel about your “further investigation” in his room?

Nothing.He knows I clean and they were only on the bottom shelf.
Who wouldn't if they found condoms.

Could he be gay and the condoms were for someone else?

Is he fine with no sex?

This whole thing just sounds grim.

If you came in my room and then began quizzing me on my intimate behaviour as a grown adult I’d hit the fucking roof.

I’d be suspicious as well.

Vitriol insanity were are not married though

Yep sorry no one wanks with a condom .. that’s just some take cheaters made up to spin to gullible women. He might have left them out to test you and make you jealous etc but zero chance he used them to mastaurbate

I don’t really understand your post. I understand your circumstance to be married, but occupying separate rooms. If he walked into your room and found a vibrator and lube would you expect the inquisition?

Bit different , condoms usually indicate sex with someone else

If you have separate rooms and you don’t want to have sex with him I don’t blame him if he has gone elsewhere. It’s not a normal way for a married couple to live. Sounds like you would be better off apart.

Condoms usually are used to prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

When was the last time you had sex?

Barton10 I'm guessing lots of people in 40 plus year relationships are dwindling on the sex side of marriage.

They do it with a sock so why not a condom? Maybe it feels nice!

Or maybe he's thinking 'my room, my rules as my wife I'm not actually married to isn't interested in me anymore'!!

I can imagine knocking one off after circumcision would be painful so maybe experiment with condoms so friction is not so direct? Clutching at straws on your behalf op

Yes I think this could be the case topcat2014.
Fragile area and why would the wrapper still be on the floor.

He clearly wants sex even after 40 years and he has a right to do that in private in his own room. If there are no other signs I’d suspect he did masturbate and leave it al that.
on another note maybe explore the lack of intimacy in your relationship and be honest that he still wants it and if you don’t that may well be the end of you as a couple

Separate rooms, no sex, would you be that surprised if he was with someone else?

Why are you saying you’re post menopausal as if it’s some sort of expiry date on sex life? Poor fella. Sex deprived, shunned to another room and Can’t even have a wank in peace!

do you even like each other?