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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Passive aggressive Xmas presents for nightmare MIL

211 replies

Kathwithaknotc · 18/10/2025 16:04

Please hit me up with THE best passive aggressive Xmas/birthday presents for nightmare MIL who is a right CF… must be able to pass off as thoughtful though. Age 70ish

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
WhereYouLeftIt · 19/10/2025 01:45

I actually asked for this as a Christmas present a few years ago, and my son obliged.Grin

It's been very helpful!

SammyScrounge · 19/10/2025 01:58

IridiumSky · 19/10/2025 01:43

It’s obvious: The first payment on some kind of funeral or cremation plan.

That's a truly awful thought.

IridiumSky · 19/10/2025 02:26

SammyScrounge · 19/10/2025 01:58

That's a truly awful thought.

Thank you. 😀

Thunderpants88 · 19/10/2025 02:29

CalzoneOnLegs · 18/10/2025 16:13

What a horrible way to treat a 70yo woman, maybe it’s time for some self reflection on why you would be planning this two months in advance.

I agree it’s not the approach to take. However I hate the notion that 70 year olds are too old to be horrible. It’s ageist. They can be as hideous and mean spirited and get away with it just because they have loved a long time? Nope

AliceMcK · 19/10/2025 02:33

Irenesortof · 18/10/2025 21:20

That would be ageist, but it isn’t ageist to recognise that we tend to get less robust emotionally as we age, and avoid making old people targets for nasty behaviour.

And heaven forbid anyone getting old deserves to reap what they sow 🙄

suburberphobe · 19/10/2025 03:38

I'm 70 and not bothered about any more junk in my life

That includes any old tat- bad for the environment.

Or any psychos in the family.

Christmas has become an overused family nightmare for most women

Pherian · 19/10/2025 15:32

Kathwithaknotc · 18/10/2025 16:04

Please hit me up with THE best passive aggressive Xmas/birthday presents for nightmare MIL who is a right CF… must be able to pass off as thoughtful though. Age 70ish

what does she dislike ?

Owly11 · 19/10/2025 15:33

You sound horrible.

NeedATreat · 19/10/2025 15:33

How can you be arsed with this level of pettiness? Honestly, drop the rope and enjoy the inner peace

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 15:39

NeedATreat · 19/10/2025 15:33

How can you be arsed with this level of pettiness? Honestly, drop the rope and enjoy the inner peace

Absolutely no chance an op like this will ever find inner peace!

NeedATreat · 19/10/2025 15:39

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 15:39

Absolutely no chance an op like this will ever find inner peace!

True!

WatchingTheDetective · 19/10/2025 15:40

I'd match what she gets you. I think that's the kind of gift she'd like.

KmcK87 · 19/10/2025 15:42

Make a donation to an age related charity in her name

blacksax · 19/10/2025 15:49

Well well well. There's some right spiteful bitches coming out of the woodwork to have a kick at the OP on this thread.

Some of you might like to reflect on why your DILs can't stand you.

Londonmummy66 · 19/10/2025 15:51

thecatfromneptune · 18/10/2025 22:44

I’ve remembered the best one my MIL once got me. She has a long history of pass agg present buying — eg. the year before the rubber car mats I got a nylon shopping bag that folded up into the shape of a whale; and a frequent birthday gift is one jar of a supermarket chutney that I don’t eat. (No prob, the food bank appreciates it, and I quite look forward to the appearance of my yearly jar of Branston!)

No, the absolute best one was the year she got a random snap of me with the rest of the family including her, DH and DD and some cousins, but I looked particularly bad, and was caught at a bad moment with my eyes half closed, my mouth half open and a massive double chin. She got it made into one of those big canvas photo wall pictures! It’s like the most horrible present ever, because I can’t put it up and neither can I regift it, and I can’t get rid of it either because it was “expensive”. It lives at the back of a cupboard and makes me feel like shit every time I go in there 😆 I highly recommend this as one of the worst presents I’ve ever received. 👍

You could get a sharpie and draw a moustache on her photo.....

Catmother18520 · 19/10/2025 15:54

A cook book with very very basic things in it.

If she is slim a horrendous nightie in a massive size or if she is plump one in a much smaller size and say oh dear, I thought you had lost weight.

I asked chat gpt and it came up with these

Passive aggressive ideas for gifts for a horrible mother in law

ChatGPT said:
Ha — I see where you’re going with this 😏. You want something that technically counts as a “nice” gift but still carries a little sting under the surface. Here are some passive-aggressive gift ideas that walk that line between polite and pointed:

🕯️ Polite but Petty Gifts
A candle labeled “For People Who Always Think They’re Right.”
Still smells nice, but the message lands.

A “How to Be a Great Mother-in-Law” book — wrapped beautifully, of course.

A mug that says “World’s Nicest Person (According to Themselves).”

A self-help book on boundaries or emotional maturity — “I saw this and thought of you!”

A gratitude journal — “So you can write down all the things you should be thankful for.”

🪴 Subtle Symbolism
A cactus or succulents — low-maintenance, prickly, and thrives on neglect. Symbolism writes itself.

A bar of soap labeled “For Difficult People.”

A plant labeled “Tough Love” or “Needs Space to Thrive.”

🍷 Deliciously Petty
A bottle of “Mommy Needs a Chill Pill” wine.

A tea set with a tag that says “For when you need to calm down before calling me.”

🏠 Domestic Diplomacy
A passive-aggressive kitchen towel — e.g., “Bless This Mess (You Made).”

A doormat that says “Hope You Brought Wine (and Better Behavior).”

A cleaning gift basket — “Because you’re so particular about cleanliness!”

Passive aggressive Xmas presents for nightmare MIL
mySILisacow · 19/10/2025 15:55

Go for it! Don't bother being the bigger person, etc.

Doing something like this can be therapeutic for you!

My SIL is a cow and she often gets me "thoughtful" things...

Urea foot cream one year 😂. A really medical looking one, nothing that looked like it was intended as a "treat".

What about some tweezers and hair removal cream? Big beige knickers? Dish cloths?

I'm thinking about getting my SIL "Let them" by Mel Robbins. Perhaps a self help book?

AgnesX · 19/10/2025 15:58

Wine and chocolate. Zero effort. although personally I'd be happy with that 😬

ManteesRock · 19/10/2025 16:22

Do couples not shop together for Christmas presents? Other than our first year together when our relationship was less than 6 months old, we've always Christmas shopped together for all our family members. There's no DH shops for his family and I shop for mine. I actually find that concept really weird!

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 16:24

ManteesRock · 19/10/2025 16:22

Do couples not shop together for Christmas presents? Other than our first year together when our relationship was less than 6 months old, we've always Christmas shopped together for all our family members. There's no DH shops for his family and I shop for mine. I actually find that concept really weird!

Same arrangement here

but I don’t find what other couples choose to do regarding gift buying for family as “weird”

Newbie8918 · 19/10/2025 16:31

Deffo a charity goat 🤣

MrsDarcy1989x · 19/10/2025 16:38

Some kind of high maintenance exotic animal

Casperroonie · 19/10/2025 16:42

Kathwithaknotc · 18/10/2025 16:04

Please hit me up with THE best passive aggressive Xmas/birthday presents for nightmare MIL who is a right CF… must be able to pass off as thoughtful though. Age 70ish

Why bother? If you don't like her get her a chocolate, end of. Don't waste energy being unkind.

Casperroonie · 19/10/2025 16:43

CalzoneOnLegs · 18/10/2025 16:13

What a horrible way to treat a 70yo woman, maybe it’s time for some self reflection on why you would be planning this two months in advance.

Sounds like she's got the bigger issue tbh. Bit psycho. Imagine spending all this time and energy on being unpleasant.

Casperroonie · 19/10/2025 16:44

Kathwithaknotc · 18/10/2025 17:03

She has lots of grandchildren and. gg children and massively favourites three of them, doesn’t speak to the others. DH siblings partners have all fallen out with her because she’s tried to cause issues between husband and wife. Is very manipulative and very ungrateful. She has said some offensive and downright hurtful things all of her children a conveniently forgets about it. She has very thick skin and even why DH has spoken to her about things in the past, she turns it around and will not accept any responsibility for her words and actions.

Don't get her anything then.