Passive aggressive Xmas presents for nightmare MIL

[Kathwithaknotc]

Please hit me up with THE best passive aggressive Xmas/birthday presents for nightmare MIL who is a right CF… must be able to pass off as thoughtful though. Age 70ish

My mum got given the 70s equivalent of one of these things by one of her sister-in-laws. Exquisitely PA if you think about it. Not sure she was ever invited to dinner at ours again.

A beautifully bound hardback edition of the Consolations of Philosophy by Boethius

Not sure about what to give your MIL but when I had to support a close friend through her DH playing away we gave him nut crackers for Xmas.

She has lots of grandchildren and. gg children and massively favourites three of them, doesn’t speak to the others. DH siblings partners have all fallen out with her because she’s tried to cause issues between husband and wife. Is very manipulative and very ungrateful. She has said some offensive and downright hurtful things all of her children a conveniently forgets about it. She has very thick skin and even why DH has spoken to her about things in the past, she turns it around and will not accept any responsibility for her words and actions.

My friend was one given some 'rejuvenating cream for the over 60s' (that was the wording on the tub) from her work secret Santa when she'd just turned 50. haha someone clearly didn't like her. You could do the same OP. Print off some labels and stick them onto some pots of Nivea - she'll love it!

You might find something to her exquisite taste here -

https://www.iwantoneofthose.com/gifts/funny.list#:~:text=Have%20the%20recipient%20in%20stitches%20with%20our%20silly,give%20the%20gift%20of%20tickling%20someone%E2%80%99s%20funny%20bone.

Not all of them do.

Or clothes that are far too small. Then next time you see her say - I thought you'd wear the lovely cardigan I bought you Sandra....

A crochet lap blanket - this sort of thing but perhaps a bit less tasteful a colourway https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/136491945567?_skw=crochet+lap+blanket&itmmeta=01K7W0ZJ3SD73VHH85VS35WBWE&hash=item1fc78dce5f:g:n9gAAeSwRJBoz9-c&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1f94x9gc2GZ1pE2Ge%2BXrxyM9GiUG1I67a3s4GJB1UtD1XN271ImnnN0MvfPFlbx1Lm%2BC2bHpDEHfLvsRnT%2Bz9x%2BmOlA4k1oc94WrCK04dnfmy%2B%2Br0wNdMYbjS4%2FQptOkMODiMPymlAzrcMr0LLMTGuZLkcMMOX5AnMyiMdR1jc5JM0AKBP8imt2MdT8qMZ5gN580uk543m3q90g6x2zoacFbdLUPb%2FNobySKsrq6HVT%2B%2FTObA0lLrW67H2%2FouJTbXdb0%2B%2BR7bGfuRsJCKh7sE5nyeZUstxoE2aNbC8O1PUtlw%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR5Si_oC_Zg

A cookery book designed for older adults - so lots of soft to chew items https://www.amazon.co.uk/ELDERLIES-COOKBOOK-Healthy-Amazing-Recipes/dp/B0CF4CXCCT/ref=sr_1_4?crid=26YM1M5HE46BO&keywords=elderly+cookbook&qid=1699351217&sprefix=elderly+cookbook%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-4

Why are you doing her presen? Why isnt your DH doing it?

Exactly, the threads on mn about awful mil’s, making me think are all u bores a mil with a guilty conscience? Scared u may end up with the crap pressie??
it’s a laugh peeps, chill tf out

You need to give more info on her likes non likes, what type of person she is other than her general unpleasantness, dose she look down on certain brands, people who wear certain clothes, think somethings are better than others etc…

Example - Someone suggested wrinkle cream, my mil would love that as a gift and so would my own nasty mother but for her brand would be important so she’d only get offended if I bought her a cheap brand. Mil wouldn’t care.

I had no idea that there was an unspoken rule that you can't disrespect your elders. I shall be using this to my advantage.

It's not your responsibility.

I would hate to think that I would ever even think such a horrible thought, let alone put it on here.
What a nasty unkind thread.

Toilet brush holder

Robert Shrimsley had a column about this on the Financial Times weekend a couple of weeks ago. It was exquisitely twisted and funny. I thought I was the queen of passive aggressive but he made me realise I am an amateur.

Amongst years of dubious presents, my MIL once gave me a tube of acne cream for Christmas. I was about 45. She was extremely well off and I had perfectly ordinary skin. I never answered her back, always did what I was told, didn't get between her and DH, saw her through convalescence after two major operations, took a genuine interest in her life and interests, never contradicted her, pulled my weight in the house and garden when visiting, chose presents really carefully. I'm a peacemaker and her difficult spiteful personality simply fed on it. Just keep on trying: you won't feel any better if you give up or start being vengeful. You can't choose your MIL, you're stuck with her. Life. Sound off here, or to a friend, but not to your DH.

But still, you're not 5 years old and your husband should be buying his mother's gifts anyway.

I disagree that it’s husband’s responsibility to buy mother’s gift. I don’t think it’s black and white and perfectly acceptable to buy for in-laws as a couple…

Nope! They have to earn respect like everyone else.

I have had some extraordinary presents from my MIL through the years. She is well off through substantial inheritance so money is no object:

Blank cassette tapes
Batteries
Socks she got free in a long haul flight
A tool kit to change your car wheel (I don't drive)
Household cleaning products
Tea towels and mugs after I explicitly said we have too many and can people please stop giving them to us
Everything with the price on, including stickers showing things had been reduced three times when she bought them...

...And so on

It's the thought that counts, and with someone people, it's very clear what the thoughts are!

More suggestions here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=inappropriate+gifts+uk&adgrpid=1176478341186004&hvadid=73530175529836&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=188&hvlocphy=41368&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-73530037311377%3Aloc-188&hydadcr=22585_2357743&mcid=5465dbfaeabe385c86c4d7a2aabad114&msclkid=65445bf3d6cd186be35b330069c39613&tag=mh0a9-21&ref=pd_sl_5jcc434457_e

Fucking genius! Gonna steal that idea for sure.

I would have loved that! and i don't think it's passive agressive, it's calling a spade a spade - your mum served food on cold plates so her SIL brought her a plate warmer.

Mine is a huge royalist (and a snob and anti American) so one year DH and I bought her Harry's book, Spare, just to see her face