I feel completely lost as to what to do. DH have been together 6 years, married for 2 and have a nearly 1 year old. Since our child came along our marriage has been incredibly difficult. I struggled with PPD and he had no idea how to support, leaving me feeling alone and like he didn't care (he actually said "I don't have the headspace for this right now") and was judging me as a bad mother.
Moving on 6 months I am now back at work and feeling much better for having some time to be myself. However we have always argued over him not pulling his weight. When I was on mat leave I did everything and was so angry and resentful of the fact that he literally had a maid and a childminder and just got to do as he pleased basically. He was resentful of me because he saw me swanning about going to play groups and coffees with mum friends and having a lovely time. We have discussed this endlessly and he said when I went back to work he would step up and things would be more equal. They improved for 2 weeks and were amazing, I could see a happier life where I didn't feel taken for granted. But then he had a big falling out with his family (completely their fault and I have been very vocal that I support him) and now it's back to the way it was before.
We have also had a very difficult situation with my family to deal with. He has driven this dispute but I have supported him and agreed with him and backed him up. But now his relationship with my parents is damaged (he told them to fuck off and stormed out), I don't know whether permanently or not.
It's now all come to a head when I flipped out after coming home to find the house a mess, washing up not done, clothes on the floor, bed unmade, curtains closed, while he was sat gaming. I said I was fed up of being the maid again. He has done nothing since last Friday house-wise. He is now saying everything is his fault, he's arguing with everyone (me, his family, my family) and he thinks it would just be better if he left or killed himself.
What do I do? I have made him get a GP appointment for today but he just keeps saying he's going to ask for some bloods to be done and I honestly don't think he will be honest about what's going on. He is very anti-medication, even paracetamol so anti-depressants will be a no go.
While I am extremely concerned for him and I admit I am far from perfect, I am also so angry that we have got to this point. I haven't said it to him but I agree, he's at the centre of all the anger and dispute at the moment and I can't ignore the common denominator. And obviously, because he's 'unwell' everything falls to me....again....