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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boobs in your face!

462 replies

YehaaYessir · 11/10/2025 16:01

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 22:23

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 22:11

Of course my words have been misrepresented. The girls I talked about in the OP weren't showing a bit of cleavage which is where the discussion seems to have gone. They had their very nearly (and I mean very nearly) out.
To the point that it was the first thing you noticed when you looked at them, you couldn't help but notice - hence the expression "in your face."

I will repeat once again, anybody can wear whatever they want, I would never dream of telling anyone any different and not would my misogynist husband ( who's anything but you judgemental lot 😅).

It was an observation that having the girls out (not to be mistaken by a bit of cleavage) seems to be more prevalent than I remember that's all. Now admittedly I may not be too keen on the idea, and I may even think it's inappropriate in some cases, but that's more out of sympathy for the girls doing it rather than any insecurity I must have lol.

I guess the "that's a man problem" people are technically right, it is. But there can't be a single one of on her who doesn't know the effect that boobs have on men ( many of us, myself included, may even have used it to our advantage before 😜), so it's disingenuous to think that you can go out with them very nearly out and take the moral high ground if a man dares to notice.

But the bit that I’m missing is you have no idea if any one of those women who “got their boobs out” were aggrieved or took a moral high ground that someone noticed they dared to have boobs. You are imposing feelings on them you have shown no evidence they felt. Women aren’t one homogeneous thing. We are all entirely different with varying motivations and emotions. You seem to be leaping to conclusions because of your own insecurities. It is absolutely you coming across as judgemental. You are completely sidestepping the fact that you have a previous thread on a very similar topic which really reveals the actual reason you have an issue with this.

PinkArt · 12/10/2025 22:31

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 22:11

Of course my words have been misrepresented. The girls I talked about in the OP weren't showing a bit of cleavage which is where the discussion seems to have gone. They had their very nearly (and I mean very nearly) out.
To the point that it was the first thing you noticed when you looked at them, you couldn't help but notice - hence the expression "in your face."

I will repeat once again, anybody can wear whatever they want, I would never dream of telling anyone any different and not would my misogynist husband ( who's anything but you judgemental lot 😅).

It was an observation that having the girls out (not to be mistaken by a bit of cleavage) seems to be more prevalent than I remember that's all. Now admittedly I may not be too keen on the idea, and I may even think it's inappropriate in some cases, but that's more out of sympathy for the girls doing it rather than any insecurity I must have lol.

I guess the "that's a man problem" people are technically right, it is. But there can't be a single one of on her who doesn't know the effect that boobs have on men ( many of us, myself included, may even have used it to our advantage before 😜), so it's disingenuous to think that you can go out with them very nearly out and take the moral high ground if a man dares to notice.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, hun.

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 22:38

ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 22:23

But the bit that I’m missing is you have no idea if any one of those women who “got their boobs out” were aggrieved or took a moral high ground that someone noticed they dared to have boobs. You are imposing feelings on them you have shown no evidence they felt. Women aren’t one homogeneous thing. We are all entirely different with varying motivations and emotions. You seem to be leaping to conclusions because of your own insecurities. It is absolutely you coming across as judgemental. You are completely sidestepping the fact that you have a previous thread on a very similar topic which really reveals the actual reason you have an issue with this.

You're quite right, I don't know any of them were aggrieved. If anything I suspect they wouldn't be, but I have no way of knowing.
I was referring to the posters on this thread who seem to think it would be someone else's problem if they were to notice them walking around starkers - or ideas to that effect.

It's disengenuous, our bodies are sexual, you can't just ignore that. If I wanted to attract someone for a quick bunk up then I'd probably wear a short skirt or have the girls on full display.

OP posts:
ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 22:44

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 22:38

You're quite right, I don't know any of them were aggrieved. If anything I suspect they wouldn't be, but I have no way of knowing.
I was referring to the posters on this thread who seem to think it would be someone else's problem if they were to notice them walking around starkers - or ideas to that effect.

It's disengenuous, our bodies are sexual, you can't just ignore that. If I wanted to attract someone for a quick bunk up then I'd probably wear a short skirt or have the girls on full display.

Ok, so now we’ve established you think women can wear what they like, and it’s a man’s problem if he assumes they are promiscuous judging them on what they wear, and that we don’t know if these women give 2 hoots (no pun intended) about who looks at them.

So what exactly was your point in this thread?

MsCactus · 12/10/2025 22:51

YodasHairyButt · 11/10/2025 16:33

This is something I struggle to get my head around. People can wear what they want, doesn’t bother me personally. But it seems a contradiction to insist you’re body confident and so want to go out showing acres of flesh and then call people perverts for looking? Why put it all on show unless you want people to look? I don’t understand.

Do you have small boobs? I have to say I thought like this pre kids when I had little boobs - the only way I would show cleavage was to wear a mega push up/padded bra and a low cut top - if I showed off my boobs it was VERY deliberate.

After kids my boobs are a lot bigger - I have a cleavage in literally any bra and any top I wear now apart from very high necked tops. And high neck tops REALLY draw attention to your bust if you have a large chest.

So it's interesting because before I had a large bust I genuinely thought people who were showing cleavage did it deliberately... Now I realise that's very often not the case.

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 22:55

ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 22:44

Ok, so now we’ve established you think women can wear what they like, and it’s a man’s problem if he assumes they are promiscuous judging them on what they wear, and that we don’t know if these women give 2 hoots (no pun intended) about who looks at them.

So what exactly was your point in this thread?

My point is the why. Why would you go out with your boobs on the point of falling out?

We've established it's definitely not for male attention, that's a misogynistic view.

It wasn't for warmth either, it was bloody freezing.

Do you think it's some kind of physics experiment? Perhaps they're studying gravity.

OP posts:
ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 23:01

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 22:55

My point is the why. Why would you go out with your boobs on the point of falling out?

We've established it's definitely not for male attention, that's a misogynistic view.

It wasn't for warmth either, it was bloody freezing.

Do you think it's some kind of physics experiment? Perhaps they're studying gravity.

why do you need to know their motivation? Do you question why people wear more make up than you? Or some men wear tight trousers? Who cares why? Different people, different reasons.

Just admit to yourself you have an insecurity and deal with it because other women’s boobs are not going anywhere!

JJZ · 12/10/2025 23:03

I’m proud of mine and love showing a bit of cleavage. It’s the one part of my body that I actually really love. Definitely not insecure here!

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 23:05

ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 23:01

why do you need to know their motivation? Do you question why people wear more make up than you? Or some men wear tight trousers? Who cares why? Different people, different reasons.

Just admit to yourself you have an insecurity and deal with it because other women’s boobs are not going anywhere!

I don't, I was just curious. It's not normal behaviour, unlike makeup and tight trousers.

In the same way I'd be curious if large numbers of people started going out with purple hair - although you'd probably think I was insecure because I was blonde lol.

OP posts:
AnotherVice · 12/10/2025 23:11

So, several posters have acknowledged that many women do indeed dress this way to make men look, or amongst women in a competitive way. Other posters have agreed that men do notice and do find it to be sexually appealing. It seems very backward to me that the posters stating ‘women can wear what they want!’ seem to think they are fighting misogyny when it seems to me like we have become THIS hoodwinked by men that young women think it’s normal/expected to bare most of their breasts in public. I don’t think we can just say ‘it’s the fashion’. It’s the result of highly sexualised images in advertising, social media etc….and I don’t think it’s as progressive for women as most on this thread seem to think it is.

ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 23:12

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 23:05

I don't, I was just curious. It's not normal behaviour, unlike makeup and tight trousers.

In the same way I'd be curious if large numbers of people started going out with purple hair - although you'd probably think I was insecure because I was blonde lol.

  1. You absolutely come across as having an insecurity about boobs, in this thread and the last one. And you have said some very unpleasant things about women as a result.
  1. It is normal apparently so get over it. You might not want to do it, and as someone who lives in polo necks I might not either, but not my boobs so not my problem.
YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 23:14

AnotherVice · 12/10/2025 23:11

So, several posters have acknowledged that many women do indeed dress this way to make men look, or amongst women in a competitive way. Other posters have agreed that men do notice and do find it to be sexually appealing. It seems very backward to me that the posters stating ‘women can wear what they want!’ seem to think they are fighting misogyny when it seems to me like we have become THIS hoodwinked by men that young women think it’s normal/expected to bare most of their breasts in public. I don’t think we can just say ‘it’s the fashion’. It’s the result of highly sexualised images in advertising, social media etc….and I don’t think it’s as progressive for women as most on this thread seem to think it is.

Thank you, I couldn't agree more, that's my point, it's not progressive at at, it's a worrying trend.
Although apparently that makes me a misogynist.

OP posts:
YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 23:19

ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 23:12

  1. You absolutely come across as having an insecurity about boobs, in this thread and the last one. And you have said some very unpleasant things about women as a result.
  1. It is normal apparently so get over it. You might not want to do it, and as someone who lives in polo necks I might not either, but not my boobs so not my problem.

I'm certainly not insecure about boobs, in fact I'm quite proud of mine and have never had any complaints.
You shouldn't assume that because I don't have them in your face I'm insecure about them.
They come out when it matters and that's not on a night out in a room full of strangers.

OP posts:
ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 23:29

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 23:19

I'm certainly not insecure about boobs, in fact I'm quite proud of mine and have never had any complaints.
You shouldn't assume that because I don't have them in your face I'm insecure about them.
They come out when it matters and that's not on a night out in a room full of strangers.

It’s having read your last thread really which shows your insecurities. Anyway, your problem, not mine. The very unpleasant way you have spoken about other women must just be that then. Good night.

YehaaYessir · 12/10/2025 23:30

ExposedCankles · 12/10/2025 23:29

It’s having read your last thread really which shows your insecurities. Anyway, your problem, not mine. The very unpleasant way you have spoken about other women must just be that then. Good night.

Are you sure it's not you that's insecure? Just asking.

OP posts:
Sashya · 12/10/2025 23:51

Op - you are really not self aware, are you?
You have started 2 posts on MN in the past few months - and both have been about women's breasts your H was exposed to.
And both - about THOSE women, with boobs on display - being sluts. You said as much in your August post about H's colleague, with her perfect boobs on display in front of your "red blooded male" husband....

Seriously - no one is after your H. Calm down.
And women can dress and display their boobs, waists, bums - because they like the way they look. And it can be also for attention - from women and men - why not? It does not make anyone promiscuous. And even if/when someone's sex life is (in your opinion) promiscuous - it's not your business. People can sleep with whoever they want, as long as they are all consenting adults.

You are in a different country/culture - a Brit recently relocated to France. You are clearly out of your comfort zone. So, your opinion on what is appropriate to wear to events is somewhat questionable. Especially as your "opinions" are mostly formed by some sort of guarding of your H's gaze.

You are only in your 20s. If you keep going like this - by your 30s and 40s - you'll drive yourself insane by all those "young ones" with their boobs that your H will be continuously exposed to...

In addition - you really need to check your misogyny. Women with boobs on display in low cut dresses; or on topless beaches; or anywhere - are NOT sluts. Women can sleep with as many men they chose to - and you don't get to judge them as promiscuous. At 43 - women don't have dog ears for boobs.

This is just a short summary. I am sure you can add to this yourself....

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 00:16

Yes, and it's a bit annoying. I know what you mean OP - it's not just cleavage, but half of each boob is fully naked top to bottom, and width-ways up to where the edge of the nipple starts. People have always shown some deep cleavage, but the showing the entire half of the boob that's closest to either side of the ribcage is a new thing. I just think they look really trashy with the whole length of both boobs showing, up to the nipple edge, and feel bad for them because no one has told them. I had a mother who taught me what was tasteful, but not everyone does.

And I would be really irritated by someone who sat opposite my man with her boobs showing like that. If people want to show off literally 50 percent of each boob, fine - but save it for date night.

shuggles · 13/10/2025 00:20

@Brightbluesomething Also given how many men judge what women wear,

We don't.

shouldn’t women be celebrating women’s choices to wear what they like?

This is begging the question.

Yes, they are wearing what they like, but the crux of OP's question is why they are choosing these clothes.

(By the way- I have no idea how or why women choose their clothes, and I do not care either).

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 00:24

Wishitsnows · 11/10/2025 16:20

It’s not a new thing. Teenage girls and women in their 20’s certainly wore clothes like that in the 80’s and 90’s and probably in the 60’s and 70”s too.

I was a teen in the 80s and 90s, and no one wore stuff that was anything like as chest-revealing as now. In fact 90s fashion was quite buttoned up. There was always deep cleavage, but most of the chest remained covered, and only the cleft was on show. Not like some styles today, where the entire boob top to bottom is revealed, with the material just placed where the nipples start. THAT is new.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 00:41

ForTipsyFinch · 11/10/2025 18:09

It’s really simply. These grown adult men (and yourself simply don’t look.

if men can’t control themselves that really says more about them. Do you think they’re animals?

We're all animals, and men are designed to respond strongly to sexual cues - it's how humanity has survived. We all know how exciting bare boobs are to men. I'm not saying a bit of cleavage isn't OK, I'm saying that tops which show boobs naked from top to bottom and up until the edge of the nipple should be reserved for date night.

There are a lot of disingenuous responses on here tonight. Everyone knows that most women don't want other women shoving acres of bare boobs in their man's face, despite what people are claiming here. And there's a big difference between some cleavage and some of the styles on offer today.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 00:43

EchoedSilence · 11/10/2025 16:33

This is a creepy thread.

It's really not. It's a tale as old as time, women being annoyed at other women flaunting their assets in front of their men. No one likes that - although most won't admit it...

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 00:51

This is the kind of thing I mean. This is well beyond cleavage.

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Boobs in your face!
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Boobs in your face!
CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 00:56

And for the anything-goes bunch, where DO you draw the line, if you have no standards? Would it be OK for your brother's or son's girlfriend to turn up to a family wedding or funeral like the below? It should be, if all women can dress as skimpily as they like no matter what the occasion, because it's her right to wear what she likes at all times, right? It's all very well to be a cool poster, but I highly doubt you would like to rock up at a wedding reception feeling frumpy because you have a toddler and a new baby, and your marriage is a bit dull, to find him sitting next to someone dressed like in this photo. Where do you draw the line?

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CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 01:14

Quiethelper · 12/10/2025 07:40

Boobs don’t bother me. Topless on the beach fine. Thong bikinis though 🤢 the thought of the cross contamination at the pool. Horrible. Don’t mind them so much at the beach but thongs in pools should be banned!!

I freely admit that I don't want my man looking at topless boobs and naked bums in person - at least, not when he's with me. And neither do I want him seated opposite or next to someone with most of her boobs naked at an event, when with me. I don't care if that makes me uncool.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 01:26

thepariscrimefiles · 12/10/2025 08:02

But aren't you the poster who made a thread complaining about your husband and a topless colleague? Your DH seems to have changed his views since you made that post where you said that he got angry with you for complaining about him socialising on the beach with a French colleague who was topless.

You seem very insecure about other women's boobs around your husband.

Hang on, so you would be just fine with your husband going to the beach with a female topless colleague? And any woman who isn't OK with her husband socialising with a topless female is insecure? So basically, all women should be OK with their husbands socialising with topless women?