Boobs in your face!

[YehaaYessir]

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

Ouch - this is nasty, OP.

I came here to say yes, I have noticed. Although it's a far from recent phenomenon, I do think more women have large areas of breast on display, more often. It's probably a combination of changing fashions, changing female shapes & sizes, and different social mores. For instance, women are much more paranoid about nipple visibility than they used to be ... these things go in some sort of cycle.

Men can be quite disgusting about female bodies and breasts in particular, as any woman who's had to growl "MY FACE IS UP HERE" can affirm. Unfortunately, you've shown a disgusting attitude as well.

Saying these fashions go in cycles - here's some evidence! Going back even further, the women of many ancient civilisations wore high-collared dresses that skirted round the outside edges of the breasts, exposing them completely while pushing them together. Ancient Egyptian queens wore single-layer muslin dresses that were completely transparent, while slaves and working women wore nothing at all or just a skirt.

Naturally there are still plenty of pre-industrial cultures whose clothing is minimal, where women's breasts are fully exposed all the time. Would you say they're all sending messages about 'what kind of girl' they are??

Very intresting as this is - its about the context of day.

Yes times have changed, but what do those changes mean and what's attached to that?

Seems to me that younger people have a different attention economy than previous generations due to growing up on social media ( and predominantly a type of social media that is over s_xualised that ranks and competes their worth and looks via swpies and likes) one facet if that is decrease in long term commitment vs hook up culture.Alot of people sexualising themselves bc attention spans of dating market and attention from prospective partners.
Nobody has ever had so many options before and to think that hasn't changed society on a significant level is ridiculas.

The point you continuously ignore is that many of us don’t care if men notice.
We can’t control their thoughts and we don’t feel that we should modify our behaviour in an attempt to appear a particular way.
If a man (or woman) wants to judge me based on how I look or what I wear then that’s up to them.

It’s not about the moral high ground, it’s about doing what suits you as an individual.

I know how to dress appropriately for the occasion but I can’t control how other people dress.
I do trust my husband though. It wouldn’t matter if he was sat near someone dressed in the way you describe because I trust him to behave appropriately.

I would never accuse a woman as having no standards as that’s just nasty.
If I was feeling frumpy and my marriage was a bit dull why would I blame someone else? Or ban my husband from being in the vicinity of attractive women? Yeah you might feel a bit crap about it all but it’s not their fault.

You know they aren’t actually, physically shoving them in their face yeah?
Men can choose not to look, it’s not difficult.

Stop blaming women for men’s shitty behaviour!!!!!!!

Some of these responses are actually cringe worthy as is the the ops desperate back tracking from her awful comments.

so what if a woman wants to wear something low cut to attract male attention. Good for her I say. No one needs to cover up. So what if someone else finds it trashy, so what if some woman is all insecure and doesn’t want her husband seeing, that’s her problem.

How a woman chooses to dress at any given moment is no indication of her views in life, she doesn’t need to be progressive in her clothing choices and cover up, which let’s face it, is just a feeble excuse because you don’t like it and don’t want your partner seeing it.

women can dress as they please, when they please, be it for themselves, other women, male attention. Whatever.

that’s progression.

and other women getting the smelling salts out, acting like wanting male attention is some perverse crime, and judging them is what is not progressive.

Nobody is saying you are uncool. It is absolutely up to you to feel that way.
what is unacceptable is judging women, calling them desperate, embarrassing, thick, promiscuous, attention seeking, ‘that sort of girl’ ….
because they are showing a bit of tit

i am not surprised by some of the queen bee bullies on here, but I’m saddened that they seem proud to encourage their sons to view girls in this way, you would think Adolescence had never aired.

You have got the wrong end of the stick about the point that I was making. In her previous thread, OP was annoyed with her husband as well as with the topless colleague because her DH had no problem with socialising with his colleague who had her boobs out. In fact, he seemed to very much enjoy it.

In this thread, he has apparently come over to her way of thinking and now agrees that wearing low cut tops with cleavage on display at social events is inappropriate.

OP and other posters like you seem to be under the impression that men literally cannot control themselves in the presence of cleavage so it is perfectly reasonable for you to police other women's clothing choices. I disagree.

Me too. And I’m rolling my eyes hard at the posters arguing low cut tops aren’t progressive, whilst judging and being abusive to women who may occasionally dress like that. I’m not sure they understand the meaning of the word progressive, because judging other women and blaming them for men’s behaviour is as backward as it gets.

I would put myself in the don’t care if men notice camp. It really doesn’t bother me.

It also doesn’t bother me if their wives and girlfriends are elbowing them in the ribs when they do notice.

@CrystalShoe I have worn a dress similar to the red one in your pictures to a church related dance at the village hall. I got several compliments.

Please stop trying to make your marriage or your body hang ups other women's problems.
If you're feeling frumpy then why not ask for some advice on Style and Beauty. Or if your husband is a perve or a bore, post on Relationships. But don't make another woman and her choice of a piece of clothing responsible for any of that.

I personally have no issue with these dresses. Genuinely. And really don’t care if a woman wears them in front of my husband. However I am not remotely insecure. And I don’t feel jealous of other women or compete with them.

I feel sorry for women who are so insecure in their relationships or their own appearance that this makes them feel threatened.

as for rhe ludicrous question if they turned up at a funeral in it, I’d think it was inappropriate for a funeral, but it still wouldn’t bother me my husband could see a bit of boob. And my thought process wouldn’t go past I’d not wear that to a funeral.

what posters are failing to understand is if you’re insecure, jealous, or have issues with uour relationship, feel frumpy. Whatever, that’s a you problem. Controlling and wanting other women to cover up due to it doesn’t change that.

Because everyone needs to feel some kind of power or self-assertiveness or confidence. No-one like being powerless, overlooked, ignored, irrelevant.

I’d also remind posters that what men find sexy is often not the whole tits out look, that usually elicits a laddish type response, from laddish types.

what men find sexy is varied, a beautiful face, thick long bouncy hairy, a lithe, fit slender , strong, body, clothing that fits and shows off the lines of the body without being over tight or skimpy, confidence, a fun personality, intelligence , the list is endless.

reacting to someone in a low cut top or tight dress is simply a stereotype of what men find attractive, sure it makes them look, it makes everyone look, but what is likely to have him look twice is very different, what he is likely to lust after is not the woman sitting in the barely there dress, it’s the pretty/beautiful/fit woman with great hair, who walked into the room, in an outfit that showed off the lines of her body, without being half naked, who behaved with confidence and a smile.

that’s who he is lusting after. Not the woman with her boobs on display. No matter what the love island contestants would have you believe.

For validation then?

Meanwhile, back in the real world, I think most people recognise that having a large amount of boobage on display at a group event is rude and just bad form. To be clear, I am NOT talking about cleavage. I'm not even talking about deep cleavage. I'm talking about the dresses I posted where much of the breast is exposed. No one wants to give Uncle Percy a heart attack over the sherry trifle.

So you agree that the women who aren’t half naked are respected more by men?

Tbf I think they're more respected by everyone. Getting your assets out isn't big or clever. We all have them, and we could all do the same, and everyone knows that. It's a low-effort, lazy way to get attention. If attention is what people want, they could try dressing as elegantly as possible and/or being interesting and a good conversationalist. But those things are much harder and require a lot more effort than simply putting your sexuality on display.

And elegant doesn't have to be expensive. M&S has lovely things in their own range.

Sort of. Though I don't see expressions of assertiveness or power as quite the same thing as validation. It is a subtle difference.
Validation is like seeking approval or affirmation from others.
Asserting power is proving to yourself that you can have an effect on the world or other people, which gives confidence or an ego boost.

You seem to think that women who dress this way all have the same motive or mentality. I highly doubt this is the case.

Clearly the women who dress this way do so because they believe it flatters their figure and makes them feel sexy. Whether you agree is another matter. But your opinion is not fact.

Some women may have the motive to attract a man. Others may already be in a relationship and want their partner to think they look sexy, others may simply feel more confident in social situations when they are showing off their best assets. And if their aim is to sleep with a man why is this such appallingly behaviour assuming they are both single?

Your responses suggest that you believe their motive is to flaunt their assets in front of attached men in the hope of getting their attention and to show them what they are missing. Perhaps with the intention of ‘stealing’ them away. This is why people have labelled you insecure.

Im pretty sure none of these women are after your husband so whether he finds them attractive is of no consequence to anyone but you. However just as you pointed out it is disingenuous of those women not to realise their breasts would be attractive to men, it’s naive to believe that your husband on the other hand is completely unaffected by them. You can’t have it both ways. Either heterosexual men (including your DH) are attracted to breasts so it should be obvious to these women the affect it will have on the men if they flaunt them or men aren’t automatically attracted when breasts on show I.e. your husband.

Personally I know my DH would be attracted to a woman with a good set of breasts that are on show, and as long as he has self control and doesn’t ogle them or make the woman or I uncomfortable then it’s a non issue. I also know how attracted he is to me (and my boobs!) and he doesn’t make me question for one minute that I’m the most attractive person to him. If he had pretended not to notice or made negative comments about having to be around a woman who was flaunting her assets I would call BS and be more annoyed and suspicious since it is true to say some men ‘protest too much’.

I think based on your responses here and your previous post you need to really look inside yourself and work out why it bothers you so much. Do you feel secure in your relationship or are you waiting for the next hot thing to lure him away?

What if they just like the dress? I don't choose my clothes based on the attention I will get. I wear things I like.

And are you suggesting that someone wearing a dress like the one you appear to be obsessed with can't also be interesting and a good conversationalist?

What what is wrong with women embracing their sexuality? Why is that a bad thing or something to be ashamed of?

So you agree that the women who aren’t half naked are respected more by men?

I think the vast majority of men don't respect women full stop. I don't think what they are wearing even makes a difference.

Men respond to (and greatly appreciate) both 'classy' and 'trashy', it's not one or the other.