Boobs in your face!

[YehaaYessir]

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

Wow. You should be ashamed of yourself. No wonder you’re insecure and worried your husband is going elsewhere with this sort of stuff.

good luck op. You’re going to need it.

But yet again you are then implying that women should modify how they dress to avoid men making false assumptions about them and avoid unwanted creepy behaviour from misogynists.

The appropriate solution to this issue is for men to realise that they are adults and need to constrain their behaviour in public appropriately, which includes not staring at or ogling women who have shown no interest in them. The appropriate solution is not that women should be told that they can’t wear what they like in case such creeps like your husband can’t control their behaviour appropriately. It’s not women’s problem. It’s entirely the problem of these men and of women like you who are, for unfathomable reasons, prepared to be in a relationship with such a creep.

We shouldn’t have to “pretend we don’t know it’ll happen”. We’re all aware that misogynistic creeps like your husband exist. What we are not prepared to do is accept their attempts to belittle and control women and tell us how we should be and how we can dress because otherwise some creep might make a false judgement about us (the horror!).

Instead, the creeps need to be called out every time, parents need to raise their sons with some decency so that they aren’t total creeps and call out other men who behave like creeps and refuse to associate with them, and women like you need to grow a backbone and stop accepting creeps as partners so these creeps learn they learn that will be incels if they treat women with disrespect. You, OP, are part of the problem and blaming other women for you having married someone who disrespects you and can’t control himself a bit more than a 13 year old boy is your problem.

What a deeply embarrassing post. No-one has misinterpreted your words. They were very clear, very judgemental and very misogynistic. Don't try claiming we haven't understood you - we understand perfectly.
Just own your gross, outdated opinions.

Of course their cleavage is on show for male attention!

I've heard the argument, "I wear it like this for myself, not for anyone else!"

Oh really? So if it's just for yourself, do you have your cleavage out when you're on your own on the couch watching telly on a Sunday morning?!

Doubt it! 😆

I go to female only events. There are never men present. I dress up and this will often mean cleavage on show.
If there are no men there, how can I be dressing for male attention?

You're one of the exceptions.

I’m really not. I don’t attend these events on my own so clearly there are lots of other women not dressing for the male gaze.

And even if women are dressing for attention. Why is that an issue? Let women dress how they want for whoever they want. Just stop policing women’s behaviour!

To be fair to OP’s husband, we don’t know how he might feel. We only know that he has a colleague in France who went topless on a beach. Unless I have misremembered there was nothing to say he had done anything wrong. And in this thread he has apparently laughed at women. We don’t know how he responded or why, because frankly the OP seems a bit unbalanced on this topic. He might not be a creep, this might be all OP’s insecurity.

Oh goody we have another one.

who cares if it’s for male attention, so what. If a woman wants to do that she can, her body her choice. One poster here doesn’t do it for men, some women will. Who cares. Their body their choice.

as said, it’s not a look I like I find it inelegant, and it’s been out of fashion for a long time, very dated, but to your question I’m often to be found on the sofa in a silk cami and no bra, on a Sunday morning, both alone or with my husband.

what are you suggesting we normally cover them up even from our own gaze? But get them out when a bloke is around.

thats sick really.

So incredibly bitter.

I don’t think I’ve encountered anyone with such mysogynistic views of women and their bodies before. Not someone saying they are female. It’s like something out thr handmaids tale.

I live alone and am currently wearing leggings, so flaunting my legs and bum like an attention seeking tart. They're paired with a v necked jumper, which I have some cleavage with because that's what happens with big boobs, and obviously because I am a desperate man seeking prostitute who hasn't realised there are no men here 🙄

I'm sitting on my bed, on my own, right now, wearing a V-neck top (not nightwear) that exposes a fair amount of cleavage. DH is away so it's not for his benefit, and it's not for my elderly mother's either, who is the only other person in the house. And no, I'm not expecting a male delivery driver to ring the doorbell any time soon either.

Fact is, as I have a short neck I find high necks uncomfortable so most of the tops I own are V-necked. And because I have big boobs I have cleavage on show, were there anyone to 'show' it to. I am very happy with DH so I don't buy them for the benefit of any random males I might encounter outside the house, either. (I doubt even our male cat would be that interested if he happened to stroll into the room, tbh, given that he is absent of knackers.)

Doubt all you like. Women do not only expose parts of their bodies for the male gaze. I find it weird, not to mention misogynistic, that such a retrograde notion is still being put out there in 2025.

I do the same, but I’m dressing to impress the women I’m with.

Very similar background too.

See I find this a bit unusual, I’ve never found another woman’s boobs impressive to be honest; as said, I’d fight for your right to dress as you please, but I really don’t think women are in general impressed by another woman’s cleavage, it’s also a very dated look, but that’s fashion trends .

I’m saying as if you do that to impress other women you’re probably not, just do it as you like the look.

women tend to be impressed by well fitting clothes, good clothes, something that looks good on, and then depending on taste, quirky, or elegant, good quality. But cleavage, no, not really.

@Sandy483 said "I used to go out with a skirt that barely covered my arse when i was a teen, it had absolutely nothing to do with body confidence or being comfortable, it was literally only to get attention from men."

You then responded with "bollocks" (on dressing for male attention), followed by "I'm 43".

Adding your age only negated your argument, it didn't add to it.

Yes, I may have strayed off topic a little. I was thinking in more general terms, not focussing on cleavage.

I'm not saying "you're [insert older age] and you are done"

The other poster was responding to a teen having her arse showing in order to garner male attention, with "bollocks, I'm 43".

Bit of a difference with a teen, single, and looking for male attention, and a 43 year old married woman.

I stated my age because the poster was claiming that all women who dress ‘provocatively’ are doing it for male attention whereas at age 43 I’m pretty sure I know my own mind. They were one of a handful of posters telling me I was wrong.

It’s pretty tiresome having multiple posters assume that I don’t know the reasoning behind my own behaviour and choices.

Are married women supposed to dress in a particular way? Must have missed that memo 🙄

She is not an exception at all.

If she was 23, and single, and never dressed for the male gaze, that would make her an exception.

Why?

Of course my words have been misrepresented. The girls I talked about in the OP weren't showing a bit of cleavage which is where the discussion seems to have gone. They had their very nearly (and I mean very nearly) out.
To the point that it was the first thing you noticed when you looked at them, you couldn't help but notice - hence the expression "in your face."

I will repeat once again, anybody can wear whatever they want, I would never dream of telling anyone any different and not would my misogynist husband ( who's anything but you judgemental lot 😅).

It was an observation that having the girls out (not to be mistaken by a bit of cleavage) seems to be more prevalent than I remember that's all. Now admittedly I may not be too keen on the idea, and I may even think it's inappropriate in some cases, but that's more out of sympathy for the girls doing it rather than any insecurity I must have lol.

I guess the "that's a man problem" people are technically right, it is. But there can't be a single one of on her who doesn't know the effect that boobs have on men ( many of us, myself included, may even have used it to our advantage before 😜), so it's disingenuous to think that you can go out with them very nearly out and take the moral high ground if a man dares to notice.