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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boobs in your face!

462 replies

YehaaYessir · 11/10/2025 16:01

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 19:58

Roundlucy · 13/10/2025 19:51

I don’t imagine you have any friends either! Male female canine!

I am single. No “my man” for me! 😆

Totally friendless!

What does "male female canine" mean?

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 20:42

Anyone else feeling nauseas reading what the op and her side kick are writing. I know I am. These people walk amongst us. Consumed by jealousy over other women,

PinkArt · 13/10/2025 20:58

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 20:42

Anyone else feeling nauseas reading what the op and her side kick are writing. I know I am. These people walk amongst us. Consumed by jealousy over other women,

It's like hearing the Daily Mail have a conversation with itself.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 21:14

I’ve just got a funny feeling that none of these women in their revealing dresses, would be remotely interested in these posters partners , as in they’d rather chew their own legs off than get involved with these men, and they are not remotely dressing like this for these particular men’s attention, and the issue is the men themselves looking at them and the posters jealousy. That no woman is serving anything up to these men,

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 21:20

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 20:42

Anyone else feeling nauseas reading what the op and her side kick are writing. I know I am. These people walk amongst us. Consumed by jealousy over other women,

Everyone knows that it's not the done thing to go round with very revealing tops around couples and families. Only on here is there faux pearl-clutching at the very idea that some might not like it. 🙄 Meanwhile, back in the real world, most people understand manners and propriety.

PlanetMa · 13/10/2025 21:27

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 21:20

Everyone knows that it's not the done thing to go round with very revealing tops around couples and families. Only on here is there faux pearl-clutching at the very idea that some might not like it. 🙄 Meanwhile, back in the real world, most people understand manners and propriety.

Edited

Nobody cares if you like it, that’s the point.

It’s you who is clutching your pearls at the very idea that another woman might have BREASTS and not hide them under a roll neck.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 21:33

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 21:20

Everyone knows that it's not the done thing to go round with very revealing tops around couples and families. Only on here is there faux pearl-clutching at the very idea that some might not like it. 🙄 Meanwhile, back in the real world, most people understand manners and propriety.

Edited

Thing is, we aren’t figments of your imagination, we are real people. Many many of us, all from the real world. And we don’t care how women dress. That’s the real world.

and as said, I’d actually put good money on the fact these women are attractive, and that’s the issue you and the op face, and quite frankly they don’t find your partners remotely attractive, it’s the opposite, your partners fancy them, that’s why you have such issues.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 21:35

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 21:20

Everyone knows that it's not the done thing to go round with very revealing tops around couples and families. Only on here is there faux pearl-clutching at the very idea that some might not like it. 🙄 Meanwhile, back in the real world, most people understand manners and propriety.

Edited

What you mean is YOU don’t like it because you’re insecure and jealous.
The idea that a woman should cover up in the presence of married men is sexist and misogynistic. Not to mention ludicrous.

What happens if a woman accidentally comes across a married man or a couple when dressed in a way you deem inappropriate?

MsCactus · 13/10/2025 21:44

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:55

OK, so you don't think it's at all rude or unfair to sit next to - or opposite - another woman's partner with your mostly-bare boobs on full display? Can you see how that might come across? You don't think it's unsisterly?

You say I sound insecure. Only about the boob thing. It really does annoy me. I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex, in a way that physical beauty, brains, wittiness etc isn't, although those things of course are really attractive and probably more so than just boobs.

"I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex"

@CrystalShoe have you ever had a baby? Because they drink exclusively breastmilk and if they have a poor latch you sometimes have to get your entire breast out in public to feed them. Breasts are made to feed babies and though our modern culture have sexualised them, they're really not overtly sexual body parts - they're for feeding babies.

I think you have a really weird view of women showing their breasts, a completely natural body part.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 22:05

MsCactus · 13/10/2025 21:44

"I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex"

@CrystalShoe have you ever had a baby? Because they drink exclusively breastmilk and if they have a poor latch you sometimes have to get your entire breast out in public to feed them. Breasts are made to feed babies and though our modern culture have sexualised them, they're really not overtly sexual body parts - they're for feeding babies.

I think you have a really weird view of women showing their breasts, a completely natural body part.

Actually that’s not true, babies also have formula. And breasts have been sexualised since time began, it isn’t modern culture, even in isolated tribes they are sexualised. They have dual purposes. A bit like your bottom, your genitalia etc. all have more than one purpose.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:19

MsCactus · 13/10/2025 21:44

"I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex"

@CrystalShoe have you ever had a baby? Because they drink exclusively breastmilk and if they have a poor latch you sometimes have to get your entire breast out in public to feed them. Breasts are made to feed babies and though our modern culture have sexualised them, they're really not overtly sexual body parts - they're for feeding babies.

I think you have a really weird view of women showing their breasts, a completely natural body part.

Oh come on, breastfeeding is completely different. You're pretending you don't know what I mean.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:20

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 21:33

Thing is, we aren’t figments of your imagination, we are real people. Many many of us, all from the real world. And we don’t care how women dress. That’s the real world.

and as said, I’d actually put good money on the fact these women are attractive, and that’s the issue you and the op face, and quite frankly they don’t find your partners remotely attractive, it’s the opposite, your partners fancy them, that’s why you have such issues.

Actually, it hasn't ever happened. I'm saying I'd be irritated if it did.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:21

PlanetMa · 13/10/2025 21:27

Nobody cares if you like it, that’s the point.

It’s you who is clutching your pearls at the very idea that another woman might have BREASTS and not hide them under a roll neck.

If you'd RTFT, you'd have seen the multiple times I said I didn't mind cleavage, even deep cleavage.

MsCactus · 13/10/2025 22:39

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:19

Oh come on, breastfeeding is completely different. You're pretending you don't know what I mean.

The same women who have an issue with breasts being on display usually have an issue with breastfeeding in public and tell women to cover up, for the sake of men.

It all comes from the same idea of looking at breasts from a misogynistic male gaze. Why is getting your breasts out for breastfeeding "completely different" in your view?

jennab29 · 13/10/2025 22:42

I'm one of those ladies with their boobs hanging out! It's actually not so easy to keep large breasts comfortably concealed and maybe I like a little of the extra attention I get ? :)

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:45

MsCactus · 13/10/2025 22:39

The same women who have an issue with breasts being on display usually have an issue with breastfeeding in public and tell women to cover up, for the sake of men.

It all comes from the same idea of looking at breasts from a misogynistic male gaze. Why is getting your breasts out for breastfeeding "completely different" in your view?

I'm not answering - this level of granularity is getting really silly and boring. Some people have standards around the way they dress and some don't. End of.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:48

jennab29 · 13/10/2025 22:42

I'm one of those ladies with their boobs hanging out! It's actually not so easy to keep large breasts comfortably concealed and maybe I like a little of the extra attention I get ? :)

Mine are pretty big, and I manage! Anyway, good on you for admitting you enjoy a bit of attention from your boobs. Just don't blind anyone with those headlamps! 🤭

GarlicPound · 14/10/2025 01:17

I'm plonking another bit of 16th century history here, because where else am i going to put it?

“She was strangely attired in a dress of silver cloth, white and crimson…lined with red taffeta. She kept the front of her dress open, and you could see the whole of her bosom, and passing low, and often she would open the front of her dress with her hands, as if she were too hot…”

This is Elizabeth Tudor in her sixties, exposing her flushed yet “white and delicate” flesh like a pagan goddess to the French ambassador, de Maisse. Other visitors to the English court in the 1590’s confirm this ritualised exhibitionism and, after a second audience, de Maisse writes of Elizabeth’s gown being plucked “open even to the navel”.

Elizabeth's breasty exhibitions were fully in tune with fashions of her era and later. Looking at portraits, one can see that such low necklines must have revealed the whole breast, particularly as bodices flattened the norks from below in order to push them up and out as "orbs" above the bodice line. Some portraits include a nipple or both, but it's unclear whether the majority of artists ignored them or they've been painted over by prudish art collectors at a later time.

It's also unclear - as far I can tell - when it was appropriate for a woman to flash her boobage and when she'd wear the higher necklines featured in most portraits. None of these outfits were worn routinely: they were heavy, cumbersome and stiff, only painstakingly donned for portraits, balls and Court occasions. Women - even queens - spent most of their days in softer and looser gear. They would have worn softer, looser bodices too, and it's quite likely that aristocratic households were used to getting an eyeful of breast as everyone went about their duties.

The very deliberate exposure of deep-cut formal gowns and Elizabeth's casual unlacing during diplomatic audiences seem to have been a demonstration of power. There isn't enough information to attempt an analysis of how this worked, but that's what the known events suggest. An earlier PP mentioned power as one possible motive for today's breast-bragging fashions, so they might be channelling the most powerful woman this country (and perhaps the world) has ever known!

One Spanish ambassador to Elizabeth's court was unfazed by her bare breasts but horrified at her teeth, which were rotten and black.

Roundlucy · 14/10/2025 06:40

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 21:14

I’ve just got a funny feeling that none of these women in their revealing dresses, would be remotely interested in these posters partners , as in they’d rather chew their own legs off than get involved with these men, and they are not remotely dressing like this for these particular men’s attention, and the issue is the men themselves looking at them and the posters jealousy. That no woman is serving anything up to these men,

Exactly

Roundlucy · 14/10/2025 06:41

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:21

If you'd RTFT, you'd have seen the multiple times I said I didn't mind cleavage, even deep cleavage.

That’s good of you 🙄

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 14/10/2025 06:54

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 22:48

Mine are pretty big, and I manage! Anyway, good on you for admitting you enjoy a bit of attention from your boobs. Just don't blind anyone with those headlamps! 🤭

Headlamps 🙄🤢
It’s like having a conversation with a creepy, over sexualised man.

Roundlucy · 14/10/2025 06:57

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 14/10/2025 06:54

Headlamps 🙄🤢
It’s like having a conversation with a creepy, over sexualised man.

I’ve come across @CrystalShoe on other threads.

Peculiar understatement

Best ignored (or wind up by littering your posts with spelling errors, it genuinely pisses her off, so that’s a win)

thepariscrimefiles · 14/10/2025 07:18

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 19:45

Why would you say this? Are you insulting someone for being (potentially) single? Have we not moved on from thinking that women must have a man to validate them? How misogynist! And thanks for insulting single women everywhere! I count myself as single even though I'm technically not.

I find it deeply concerning that you think a woman's single status is something to throw in her face.

Edited

I think that she is just saying that she thinks that you are a fantasist as your posts have been extremely odd and very judgemental.

You have accused posters that dress to please themselves of basically trying to seduce other people's husbands by displaying some cleavage in a public venue where married men are present.

Charlenedickens · 14/10/2025 08:51

thepariscrimefiles · 14/10/2025 07:18

I think that she is just saying that she thinks that you are a fantasist as your posts have been extremely odd and very judgemental.

You have accused posters that dress to please themselves of basically trying to seduce other people's husbands by displaying some cleavage in a public venue where married men are present.

agree, and the ops have been just as bad if not worse, I’m still dismayed at some of the things these posters have written, sluts, public masterbation, serving their breasts up to their specific partners, who I would honestly assume are the sort of men who very few women would even consider.

im so sick of women blaming other women for men’s behaviour. Trying to control them and when they don’t get their way becoming abusive. Sick of them thinking it’s a competition for men’s attention.

Fortunately as we can see by the thread these people are in the minority,

Roundlucy · 14/10/2025 09:06

thepariscrimefiles · 14/10/2025 07:18

I think that she is just saying that she thinks that you are a fantasist as your posts have been extremely odd and very judgemental.

You have accused posters that dress to please themselves of basically trying to seduce other people's husbands by displaying some cleavage in a public venue where married men are present.

Exactly this