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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boobs in your face!

462 replies

YehaaYessir · 11/10/2025 16:01

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:37

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:24

Haha why? Cos your creepy husband can’t keep it in his pants? Maybe you should show some consideration and stop slut shaming women more attractive than you 🤷🏼‍♀️

Getting your girls out doesn't make you attractive. Quite the opposite in many cases.

OP posts:
OhFeyreDarling · 13/10/2025 17:37

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:13

This is exactly it. Of course girls can wear what they like, but like it or not, boobs are very sexual things.
If you have your bare boobs almost out then it's bound to be interpreted in this context.
It's like getting your chuff out and masturbating on a dancefloor and blaming men who notice as being creepy.
Put em away luv!

I mean it's really not, a low cut top not showing nipples/areola could be shown on TV or in a newspaper (and they quite often are) someone masturbating.....absolutely not

But I think you know that OP and are now reaching quite far trying to make a point that simply isn't there. You don't like seeing other womens boobs, we get it from this and your last thread, the answer is to simply not look. There's no policing this and to do so is simply slut shaming, who cares why these women are wearing such revealing attire. It isn't illegal and is quite normal

OhFeyreDarling · 13/10/2025 17:38

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:37

Getting your girls out doesn't make you attractive. Quite the opposite in many cases.

In your opinion

PinkArt · 13/10/2025 17:39

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:37

Getting your girls out doesn't make you attractive. Quite the opposite in many cases.

Oh perfect - well there's no issue then, is there, with those less attractive women being in your presence.

PlanetMa · 13/10/2025 17:41

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 15:52

OK, well, many women do it for male attention, as some on here have admitted. Logically, if YOU want male attention, it means you want the attention, rather than another women having it. Right?

Ok, let’s presume some of these women are doing it for male attention. We’ve established that many are not, and actually loathe leery misogynistic men who assume that they are, but perhaps some who are young and as naive as the OP are doing so.

So what?

If the OP is secure in her relationship then why is she so enraged about this that she had “a blazing row” (her words) with her husband because they happened to be on a beach in a country they decided to move to where being topless on the beach is the norm and she felt she had to start a thread about it and accuse these women of being “promiscuous” and call them “sluts”?

Why has she now, 2 months or so later, started another thread making the same nasty comments about other women?

Even if these women happened to be “seeking attention” (many dressing in the ways that she objects to absolutely are not, as the many responses on the thread make clear) or promiscuous (a completely unreasonable assumption which is misogynistic and disgusting, and actually if by chance if one of the women dressed in a way to which the OP object happened also to be promiscuous, what’s wrong with that if they’re single? Why does she think this is an acceptable reason to insult people as if they are not allowed to be promiscuous if they choose to be? What does it have to do with her?). Why is it her business what anybody else wears or how they conduct their sex lives?

None of these women whom she has labelled while seemingly knowing nothing about them seem to have shown any interest in her misogynistic husband (unsurprisingly) or to have done anything to attempt to interfere in their marriage other than simply existing. If that’s all it takes then I would suggest the marriage is rather fragile if she feels it can be threatened by something as insignificant as other women’s clothes.

Quite clearly, therefore, the issue is her feeling insecure in her relationship rather than the women’s taste in clothes because she’s specifically mentioned multiple times that the reason for her objection to other women choosing their own clothes is that she doesn’t want “her man” to look at other women and that this is somehow the women’s fault, that she believes adult men can’t control themselves if women aren’t covered up like an extra in some depressing historic drama about a Victorian trip to the UK seaside where people would gasp at a visible ankle, and that somehow in her opinion this is the problem of the other women to fix rather than a problem with the type of man she’s chosen to marry.

It’s perfectly reasonable to state the obvious fact that the cause of her (clearly ongoing) problem with insecurity about this is having married a misogynist whom she admits ogles other women and she doesn’t trust not to behave like a poorly socialised 13 year old boy when around adult women who aren’t wearing a burka, and that she’s trying to displace the blame for how being married to such a misogynist makes her feel onto other women rather than accepting that it’s a problem with her choice of spouse which she needs to fix.

It rather suggests that unless she realises the error in her logic she’s going to have rather a miserable life.

SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 17:41

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:26

What the fuck have I just read? Wearing a low cut top is the same as having a wank in public? You are really disturbed or are in fact a bloke having a wank over women arguing about boobs.

You get all sorts on here. Every day's a school day!

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:45

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:22

Not a low cut top but having your boobs very nearly out.
Or are you suggesting boobs aren't sexual?

No, but that’s the most disturbed thing I’ve had the misfortune to read. That you think it’s the same a masturbating in public. And probably the creepiest.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:45

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:36

If you're more attractive than me, then more power to you! Happy for you. I am quite sure that you probably are much more attractive than me. And I am not slut-shaming; as I said up thread, I have no problem with promiscuity as long as all parties are single and enthusiastically consent. I just think it's rude to show off your assets to other people's men - and to their grandparents and children, and other relatives, come to think of it. As far as I'm aware, I haven't been cheated on, and I'm not married. This is about women being - what I consider to be - rude and inconsiderate by wearing skimpy clothes in inappropriate settings.

Edited

But you are slut shaming. You are assuming that women dressing in a particular way are doing it to seduce other women’s husbands.
That’s a completely different issue to whether an outfit is appropriate for a family setting.

You seem to find it hard to believe but women are not dressing in a particular way to be inconsiderate or disrespectful to you. That’s a very odd take and more to do with your insecurities.
Women are also not dressing with the purpose of seducing married men. Again, that’s your interpretation.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:45

SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 17:41

You get all sorts on here. Every day's a school day!

So weird and disturbing.whats wrong with these people.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:47

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:37

Getting your girls out doesn't make you attractive. Quite the opposite in many cases.

Then it shouldn’t bother you then should it?

OhFeyreDarling · 13/10/2025 17:49

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:47

Then it shouldn’t bother you then should it?

Yes what exactly is your problem with these ugly women with their 43 year old spaniels ears on display (you really revealed who you were with that one btw) @YehaaYessir

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:50

"Women who dress in that tight-cut gym gear, or swim gear, or breast-baring tops are sluts. (And yes, this IS the implication)."

See, I don't think the implication is that skimpy tops equal sluts. There's nothing wrong with being promiscuous as long as the sex is safe, and both parties are single and enthusiastically consenting. And as long as one person isn't leading another on. What on earth do numbers matter? That's very Nineties to think so.

My issue is that it's rude and inconsiderate to wear overly revealing clothes in inappropriate settings, just like dominating conversations and being overly loud is rude.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:52

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:45

But you are slut shaming. You are assuming that women dressing in a particular way are doing it to seduce other women’s husbands.
That’s a completely different issue to whether an outfit is appropriate for a family setting.

You seem to find it hard to believe but women are not dressing in a particular way to be inconsiderate or disrespectful to you. That’s a very odd take and more to do with your insecurities.
Women are also not dressing with the purpose of seducing married men. Again, that’s your interpretation.

How do you know they're not? And anyway, I'm not sure that they seriously want to seduce anybody or steal anybody, they're just being attention-seeking. And people generally don't like attention-seekers, whether it's showing off your boobs too much in in appropriate settings or dominating the conversation.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:53

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:50

"Women who dress in that tight-cut gym gear, or swim gear, or breast-baring tops are sluts. (And yes, this IS the implication)."

See, I don't think the implication is that skimpy tops equal sluts. There's nothing wrong with being promiscuous as long as the sex is safe, and both parties are single and enthusiastically consenting. And as long as one person isn't leading another on. What on earth do numbers matter? That's very Nineties to think so.

My issue is that it's rude and inconsiderate to wear overly revealing clothes in inappropriate settings, just like dominating conversations and being overly loud is rude.

Stop presenting this as fact!! Not everyone thinks it’s disrespectful. That’s just your opinion.
and I don’t think you understand what slut shaming is …

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:56

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:53

Stop presenting this as fact!! Not everyone thinks it’s disrespectful. That’s just your opinion.
and I don’t think you understand what slut shaming is …

Doesn't everyone just state their opinion? Must we always preface with IMHO? I thought it was obvious that this is my opinion.

Slut-shaming is shaming someone for having lots of partners, but I don't care how many someone has, assuming all things are equal (no cheating, coercing, etc.)

The dress thing is about manners and respect for others.

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:59

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:16

How on earth is wearing a low cut dress the same as having a wank on the dance floor??

Wouldn't that be a you problem for noticing? It's only a fanny after all, we've all got one.

OP posts:
PlanetMa · 13/10/2025 17:59

OhFeyreDarling · 13/10/2025 17:49

Yes what exactly is your problem with these ugly women with their 43 year old spaniels ears on display (you really revealed who you were with that one btw) @YehaaYessir

She’s already freaking out so imagine what will happen if she actually has children with this creepy loser she married and - God forbid! - ends up with “spaniel ears” as breasts. I wonder what she thinks the misogynist will do then. Hence her concern about this, I suspect, as she knows he’ll be off and trade her in for the first naive younger woman who’d be prepared to entertain his attention in which most women have shown absolutely zero interest, for understandable reasons.

PlanetMa · 13/10/2025 18:01

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:56

Doesn't everyone just state their opinion? Must we always preface with IMHO? I thought it was obvious that this is my opinion.

Slut-shaming is shaming someone for having lots of partners, but I don't care how many someone has, assuming all things are equal (no cheating, coercing, etc.)

The dress thing is about manners and respect for others.

What makes you think that you should be able to control other people’s clothing choices and that they have to choose their outfits out of “respect” for your personal style preferences?

SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 18:04

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:50

"Women who dress in that tight-cut gym gear, or swim gear, or breast-baring tops are sluts. (And yes, this IS the implication)."

See, I don't think the implication is that skimpy tops equal sluts. There's nothing wrong with being promiscuous as long as the sex is safe, and both parties are single and enthusiastically consenting. And as long as one person isn't leading another on. What on earth do numbers matter? That's very Nineties to think so.

My issue is that it's rude and inconsiderate to wear overly revealing clothes in inappropriate settings, just like dominating conversations and being overly loud is rude.

I am not quite seeing the connection between skimpy tops, safe sex and promiscuity. But I'm sure you'll be waiting on tenterhooks to extrapolate.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 18:16

Nah. I'm bored with the discussion now. I just think it's inappropriate to wear skimpy tops in certain settings, like most people do.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 18:23

SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 18:04

I am not quite seeing the connection between skimpy tops, safe sex and promiscuity. But I'm sure you'll be waiting on tenterhooks to extrapolate.

I quoted a PP and then I wrote "I don't think the implication is that skimpy tops equal sluts."

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 18:25

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 18:16

Nah. I'm bored with the discussion now. I just think it's inappropriate to wear skimpy tops in certain settings, like most people do.

That's not allowed! The thought police will be along shortly to tell you off and call you a misogynist.😜

OP posts:
CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 18:27

PlanetMa · 13/10/2025 18:01

What makes you think that you should be able to control other people’s clothing choices and that they have to choose their outfits out of “respect” for your personal style preferences?

I said that I would never say anything to anyone dressed like that. I'm not aware of any way that I've tried to control other people's clothing choices, given that I say nothing and don't give any looks or anything, as I wrote upthread.

I said that I have my private opinion about it, but I keep it private. I said they are free to dress how they want, and I am free to have an inside opinion about it. Not sure how that's trying to control others' clothing choices, but OK.

Roundlucy · 13/10/2025 18:31

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:03

Must go. Work calls. We're never going to agree on this, anyway! I will carry on considering other people with my outfit choices and not baring my breasts in inappropriate settings. I will try not to be too annoyed if I'm not shown the same consideration.

Work calls? But then you proceed to carry on posting multiple times?

Roundlucy · 13/10/2025 18:33

I hate when other women serve their boobs up on a platter to be stared at by my man

”my man”

🤢