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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boobs in your face!

462 replies

YehaaYessir · 11/10/2025 16:01

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:42

ExposedCankles · 13/10/2025 16:30

It is quite incredible that we expect women to change their behaviour because we don’t like the way a man responds. If your husband is tempted by another woman having some boob on show that is his issue, not hers. I despair and lose any hope of equality when women hold women responsible for men’s behaviour.

I'm talking about some women's behaviour, the ones who wear really revealing outfits in inappropriate situations. It's the blatant attention-grab that's so annoying. My focus is on her rudeness.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 16:42

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:38

Well, I think they might be. But how can I tell?

It matters because for all they know, we might be going through a rough patch, and I don't need someone else's gorgeous breasts undulating at us across the reception table, reminding him what he's missing out there. Maybe I have breast cancer, or have had it. (I say this because I'm super-high risk and al the women in my family have died of it, including my mother, so this could well be my situation at any time.) Maybe my husband doesn't appreciate having to stay seated while his erection subsides - and don't come at me with the control thing, an involuntary erection at the sight of overt sexual signalling is nature, it doesn't mean he's going to actually lose control and fling himself at her.

For all these reasons, showing off nearly naked boobs at other people's men is rude, rude, rude, as most people know.

I don't think we're going to see eye to eye on this. I would never say anything to a woman who's got her bust out, or give her evils, or be disrespectful in any way, and that's the important thing. She is free to flaunt her wares, and I'm free not to like it.

I would never be so unsisterly as to flaunt myself at other people's men, and its a pity not all women give their fellow women the same consideration.

I’m sorry your husband gets erections when he simply sees a woman in a low cut top. I’m sorry about your family history of breast cancer . However this doesn’t change the fact women can dress as they please and no woman is doing it for your husband specifically. It isn’t rude to dress as you wish. Issues you face with your rather odd husband and your health are your issues. Most men do not get an erection in public events simply as a woman wears a low cut top.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:45

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 16:31

I hate when other women serve their boobs up on a platter to be stared at by my man. I do, and so do many women. It's natural to feel that way.

But that is a YOU issue. Doesn't mean you have the right to police what other women wear. Deal with you insecurities.

Not sure where you got the idea that I think women who are not stunningly beautiful should hide their bodies. I don't want ANY woman flaunting her bust at my partner. I was responding to the poster that talked about insecurities and said that someone will always be better-looking than you, etc. and I said that I don't mind beautiful women around my partner, it's the bared breasts that I don't like.

But you can't control other women's behaviour or their clothing choices.

I think you've got it all the wrong way round. Showing off a lot of boobage is the really unsisterly thing to do. Mine are pretty nice, and I would never do that to another woman. It's basic manners and respect.

That's because you dress for men and assume all women do. You also seem to think men are weak willed and all it takes is a nice pair of boobs to make them cheat.
I don't police women's clothes and assume they are all out to steal my husband.
Wear what you want, what you like and what makes you feel good.

I will build you up, tell you that you look amazing and not make you feel ashamed for wearing an outfit of your choice.

I'm not policing anything. I already said multiple times that I would never show any disrespect. I'm free not to like it inside, which is what I do.

And I don't dress for men, au contraire. I don't ever really show any cleavage; it's just not my style, although I don't mind it on others. (To be clear, it's the REALLY skimpy tops I don't like, with breasts showing top to bottom.) If I was dressing for men, I'd be showing them off.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 16:47

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:45

I'm not policing anything. I already said multiple times that I would never show any disrespect. I'm free not to like it inside, which is what I do.

And I don't dress for men, au contraire. I don't ever really show any cleavage; it's just not my style, although I don't mind it on others. (To be clear, it's the REALLY skimpy tops I don't like, with breasts showing top to bottom.) If I was dressing for men, I'd be showing them off.

That’s fine though, it’s ok to feel jealous, dislike, insecure, worried about the fat your husband is the sort to pervert on other women. Keep it inside, deal with your issues, all women are free to dress as they please.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 16:47

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:38

Well, I think they might be. But how can I tell?

It matters because for all they know, we might be going through a rough patch, and I don't need someone else's gorgeous breasts undulating at us across the reception table, reminding him what he's missing out there. Maybe I have breast cancer, or have had it. (I say this because I'm super-high risk and al the women in my family have died of it, including my mother, so this could well be my situation at any time.) Maybe my husband doesn't appreciate having to stay seated while his erection subsides - and don't come at me with the control thing, an involuntary erection at the sight of overt sexual signalling is nature, it doesn't mean he's going to actually lose control and fling himself at her.

For all these reasons, showing off nearly naked boobs at other people's men is rude, rude, rude, as most people know.

I don't think we're going to see eye to eye on this. I would never say anything to a woman who's got her bust out, or give her evils, or be disrespectful in any way, and that's the important thing. She is free to flaunt her wares, and I'm free not to like it.

I would never be so unsisterly as to flaunt myself at other people's men, and its a pity not all women give their fellow women the same consideration.

You sound deeply, deeply insecure.
You can’t ( and shouldn’t) expect women to police their behaviour or clothing just because you are incredibly insecure.
Looking at this from the default position of ‘all women are out to steal my man’ is ridiculous.
I am not factoring in your marriage problems, your health, your creepy husband who can’t control his erections into my outfit choices.
I’m not doing this out of disrespect, I’m simply exercising my right to choose my own clothes.

In fact, I’m not dressing for anyone but myself.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:48

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 16:42

I’m sorry your husband gets erections when he simply sees a woman in a low cut top. I’m sorry about your family history of breast cancer . However this doesn’t change the fact women can dress as they please and no woman is doing it for your husband specifically. It isn’t rude to dress as you wish. Issues you face with your rather odd husband and your health are your issues. Most men do not get an erection in public events simply as a woman wears a low cut top.

I'm not married, and I am not talking simply about low-cut tops. I'm talking about the really revealing ones that were discussed upthread. They'd make any man get an erection if he was seated opposite someone wearing something like that for a few hours.

Of course women can dress as they please. And I can disapprove as I please, too. (Inside.)

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:50

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 16:47

That’s fine though, it’s ok to feel jealous, dislike, insecure, worried about the fat your husband is the sort to pervert on other women. Keep it inside, deal with your issues, all women are free to dress as they please.

Husband the sort to perv on other women....let's assume any man I happen to be with, as I'm not married now. Do you really think that a man getting an erection when faced with some very overt sexual signalling, that he can't get away from because he's sitting opposite or next to someone's mostly-bare assets, means he's a perv?

ExposedCankles · 13/10/2025 16:52

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:42

I'm talking about some women's behaviour, the ones who wear really revealing outfits in inappropriate situations. It's the blatant attention-grab that's so annoying. My focus is on her rudeness.

But if she didn’t get their attention, it wouldn’t be a problem. So let’s all choose men who reserve their attention for their partner’s boobs and everyone can get on.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:55

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 16:47

You sound deeply, deeply insecure.
You can’t ( and shouldn’t) expect women to police their behaviour or clothing just because you are incredibly insecure.
Looking at this from the default position of ‘all women are out to steal my man’ is ridiculous.
I am not factoring in your marriage problems, your health, your creepy husband who can’t control his erections into my outfit choices.
I’m not doing this out of disrespect, I’m simply exercising my right to choose my own clothes.

In fact, I’m not dressing for anyone but myself.

OK, so you don't think it's at all rude or unfair to sit next to - or opposite - another woman's partner with your mostly-bare boobs on full display? Can you see how that might come across? You don't think it's unsisterly?

You say I sound insecure. Only about the boob thing. It really does annoy me. I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex, in a way that physical beauty, brains, wittiness etc isn't, although those things of course are really attractive and probably more so than just boobs.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:00

@HighLadyofTheNightCourt "In fact, I’m not dressing for anyone but myself."

Well, maybe you should have some consideration for other people.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:03

Must go. Work calls. We're never going to agree on this, anyway! I will carry on considering other people with my outfit choices and not baring my breasts in inappropriate settings. I will try not to be too annoyed if I'm not shown the same consideration.

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:13

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:55

OK, so you don't think it's at all rude or unfair to sit next to - or opposite - another woman's partner with your mostly-bare boobs on full display? Can you see how that might come across? You don't think it's unsisterly?

You say I sound insecure. Only about the boob thing. It really does annoy me. I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex, in a way that physical beauty, brains, wittiness etc isn't, although those things of course are really attractive and probably more so than just boobs.

I know this isn’t being asked of me, but personally no I don’t care and don’t feel it unsisterly. But I’m not married to some pervert nor am I insecure/

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:13

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:55

OK, so you don't think it's at all rude or unfair to sit next to - or opposite - another woman's partner with your mostly-bare boobs on full display? Can you see how that might come across? You don't think it's unsisterly?

You say I sound insecure. Only about the boob thing. It really does annoy me. I think because boobs are just such a huge part of sex, in a way that physical beauty, brains, wittiness etc isn't, although those things of course are really attractive and probably more so than just boobs.

This is exactly it. Of course girls can wear what they like, but like it or not, boobs are very sexual things.
If you have your bare boobs almost out then it's bound to be interpreted in this context.
It's like getting your chuff out and masturbating on a dancefloor and blaming men who notice as being creepy.
Put em away luv!

OP posts:
SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 17:16

PinkArt · 13/10/2025 16:17

Try not judging other women by your standards. Some of us aren't so desperate for male approval. Some of us - and this will blow your mind - aren't even thinking about men when we chose an outfit. Neither are we thinking about how to fuck over another woman via the power of our fabulous boobs. It hadn't occurred to me there were people who would think like that until reading this thread.

The most strident misogynists are not all necessarily men. Except this is a peculiarly contradictory position that encompasses the rare feat of being misogynistic and misandrist at once.

Women who dress in that tight-cut gym gear, or swim gear, or breast-baring tops are sluts. (And yes, this IS the implication). And men are completely sexually incontinent and can't keep their eyes or their erections to themselves. It's rather a strange take on other people's bodies, but whatever floats your boat ...

And what if a bloke does look? A quick glance hurts no one, as long as he's not staring or ogling at her under the tired pretext that because she dresses a certain way she was 'asking for it'. Just as I don't police men's bodies for getting their moobs out every time the sun peeks out from behind a cloud, women are free to dress exactly the way they want to without censure or overtly ogling men. I might not 'want to see it', but it really isn't any of my damned business.

As to male attention, if other women want that then as far as I'm concerned they can keep it!

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:16

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:13

This is exactly it. Of course girls can wear what they like, but like it or not, boobs are very sexual things.
If you have your bare boobs almost out then it's bound to be interpreted in this context.
It's like getting your chuff out and masturbating on a dancefloor and blaming men who notice as being creepy.
Put em away luv!

How on earth is wearing a low cut dress the same as having a wank on the dance floor??

OchreRaven · 13/10/2025 17:18

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 16:02

I think I did own it when I said I wouldn't want my man socialising with a topless colleague etc and I don't care if that makes me uncool.

I thought about what you said above just now, and beautiful women don't irritate me the way a less attractive women flaunting her chest at my husband would. I'd feel much more comfortable with him sitting opposite a stunning young woman than a more average woman with her puppies out. With the former, I'd be totally fine and joke with him later that I hope he enjoyed the view! I think it must be the deliberateness of the latter, the fact that it's a cheap trick, and the fact that WE ALL KNOW what men think of breasts and she's putting it out there to get his attention. Whereas a woman with a beautiful face can't help that, and faces are not sexual like naked boobs are. Maybe the root of my irritation is that she knows exactly what she's doing, and I don't appreciate it.

I'll own it: a woman flaunting her bust at my man makes me feel like that well-known gif of the black cat filing its claws. And I bet it makes MANY women feel the same, except most won't admit it.

I would never say anything to her though, or give her the evils. Not gonna lie though, I'd insult her to my husband later. So shoot me.

If you don't want negative reactions, and to be thought badly of, think carefully about what kind of traffic's on the road before turning on your headlamps.

Edited

News alert no one is after your man.

I don’t assume what some woman wears to an event my husband happens to attend means she’s got her sights on him! And if she was inappropriately flirty I would see it as a waste of her time. I would only be annoyed if my DH flirted back. And if he did she is merely a vehicle through which he is showing himself up in my eyes. The outfit is a complete red herring and just shows how insecure some people are in their own skin / relationship

SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 17:19

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:16

How on earth is wearing a low cut dress the same as having a wank on the dance floor??

This isn't only a very, very strange take on public obscenity, it's also the point at which the thread really did jump the shark.

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:22

Charlenedickens · 13/10/2025 17:16

How on earth is wearing a low cut dress the same as having a wank on the dance floor??

Not a low cut top but having your boobs very nearly out.
Or are you suggesting boobs aren't sexual?

OP posts:
ForZanyAquaViewer · 13/10/2025 17:22

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:13

This is exactly it. Of course girls can wear what they like, but like it or not, boobs are very sexual things.
If you have your bare boobs almost out then it's bound to be interpreted in this context.
It's like getting your chuff out and masturbating on a dancefloor and blaming men who notice as being creepy.
Put em away luv!

Women. Not girls, women.

You have now started at least two threads talking about other women’s breasts. This is not normal behaviour and would strongly indicate that the problem is you.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:24

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:00

@HighLadyofTheNightCourt "In fact, I’m not dressing for anyone but myself."

Well, maybe you should have some consideration for other people.

Haha why? Cos your creepy husband can’t keep it in his pants? Maybe you should show some consideration and stop slut shaming women more attractive than you 🤷🏼‍♀️

ForZanyAquaViewer · 13/10/2025 17:24

SerafinasGoose · 13/10/2025 17:19

This isn't only a very, very strange take on public obscenity, it's also the point at which the thread really did jump the shark.

Edited

I honestly think this is real. I was on her other thread. Some people are genuinely this disturbed.

And multiple people saying this is nonsense across multiple threads isn’t penetrating, so it’s really interesting that she keeps posting.

330ml · 13/10/2025 17:25

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 15:47

Edited.

Edited

You are aware that if they want to, anybody can see what it said before you edited it?

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:26

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:13

This is exactly it. Of course girls can wear what they like, but like it or not, boobs are very sexual things.
If you have your bare boobs almost out then it's bound to be interpreted in this context.
It's like getting your chuff out and masturbating on a dancefloor and blaming men who notice as being creepy.
Put em away luv!

What the fuck have I just read? Wearing a low cut top is the same as having a wank in public? You are really disturbed or are in fact a bloke having a wank over women arguing about boobs.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:32

330ml · 13/10/2025 17:25

You are aware that if they want to, anybody can see what it said before you edited it?

Oh fuck, I forgot.

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 17:36

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/10/2025 17:24

Haha why? Cos your creepy husband can’t keep it in his pants? Maybe you should show some consideration and stop slut shaming women more attractive than you 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you're more attractive than me, then more power to you! Happy for you. I am quite sure that you probably are much more attractive than me. And I am not slut-shaming; as I said up thread, I have no problem with promiscuity as long as all parties are single and enthusiastically consent. I just think it's rude to show off your assets to other people's men - and to their grandparents and children, and other relatives, come to think of it. As far as I'm aware, I haven't been cheated on, and I'm not married. This is about women being - what I consider to be - rude and inconsiderate by wearing skimpy clothes in inappropriate settings.