Boobs in your face!

[YehaaYessir]

So I've been to a couple of wedding receptions recently and a formal event for DH's work.
Is it just me getting older or does anyone else notice the amount of women/ girls at these kind of events whose boobs are almost out?

I'm no prude but really? When did this become so widely appropriate? I'm not talking a bit of cleavage here, I'm talking everything on show, the whole lot out to a millimetre or two from the nipples.

I just wonder why so many girls these days feel the need to do this? Are they insecure about the rest of themselves? Or is it an empowerment thing- that they will know what every male who sees them that night will be thinking?

I for one would prefer not to be confronted by pairs of bare boobs in my face on a night out?
Has anyone else noticed this?

I'd say their focus is more on grabbing attention with their sexuality than via other ways, which is not something to be respected since it's so easy, requires no effort, and we could all do it.

It's not appropriate for large amounts of boobage to be on display at group events, which might include children and the elderly. Most people understand that. If someone likes a really skimpy dress that shows off most of their breasts (again, I'm NOT talking about just mere cleavage), then there's no reason why they can't wear it to a club or on a date night. Skimpy clothes have a time and a place, and group settings where not everyone wants to see other people's breasts aren't it. It's the same for men. People don't want to see men wearing tight cycling shorts in the office and at wedding receptions, and some swimming pools prohibit budgie smugglers. I believe thong bottoms are also banned at many pools.

The bottom line is that we don't go semi-naked in many settings because we all know that not everyone wants to look at other people's naked bodies and it's rude to make them. I, for one, don't want to see other people's hairy arses hanging out at my local pool.

The dresses you've posted are worn by large boobed, curvy women. This dress on Gwyneth Paltrow is far lower cut but as she has smaller boobs the overall vibe is quite different. Larger boobed women's bodies are judged and sexualised in a way smaller women's aren't and I'm sure Gwyneth would not be held responsible for Uncle Percy's health health.

I still find that dress on GP pretty racy. It's way too low-cut for a family wedding reception, imo.

@PinkArt I am a big-boobed woman but mostly because I'm overweight. At a healthy weight, I have much smaller boobs, but men leered over me a lot more when I was slim. I haven't noticed my large boobs being judged or sexualised at all.

Don’t go to France then. Budgie smugglers are compulsory in public pools!! The French are just more relaxed than us about nudity hence the topless sun bathing!

But you're doing the judging. Your own examples of 'too much' dresses were all on larger boobed women, not a Gwyneth type figure.

I think those skimpy outfits, including GP's, are inappropriate for wedding receptions etc no matter the size of boobs.

The French are also famously permissive about extra-marital sex, and we don't approve of that in England either!

I for one am not saying it's 'progressive'; I have my own reasons for being bored shitless with that word and all the tedium/regressive attitudes it often implies. I'm merely saying that when it comes to what other women wear I couldn't give a bison's bum.

As far as OP is concerned, both others' attire and what might happen to be going on in men's heads is a preoccupation to say the least. She owns that should she want to attract a man she'd wear low necks or short skirts. Whereas I personally couldn't give a bollock what random male strangers think of my personal appearance and wouldn't want to 'attract' someone superficially turned on by a pair of tits or legs in any event.

When I dress myself or go out socially I am devoting precisely zero headspace to how men might respond (or not) to what I wear. I genuinely, sincererly couldn't give a shit what they think. By the same token I'm of the mind that other women can and should wear what they want without me trotting out the usual, tired misogynistic unpleasantries and doing the work of the patriarchy for it.

Don't sweat the small stuff, kids.

As much as I agree for certain things, like formal wear in the office or funerals certain attire is not appropriate, I do disagree with your other view points.

firstly I am really not understanding why you feel someone who grabs attention with their sexuality is about your respect. It isn’t. You or other women who have issues with revealing clothing are actually irrelevant. It is not about respect, it’s about self respect, and how someone chooses to present, in a way they feel happy. It isn’t about you.

secondly I don’t agree anyone can do it. I think you have to have a certain kind of figure to make it look sexy. Many people can’t look sexy in that sort of dress. Well not what the mainstream would consider sexy.

thirdly, I understand you’re uptight about nudity and even want people covered up at the local pool. This is a you problem.

I agree with you totally different vibe, and the only reason I find that dress inappropriate for a wedding is it is black. I take no issue with it being low cut. I certainly don’t find it racy.

What what is wrong with women embracing their sexuality? Why is that a bad thing or something to be ashamed of

In the same vein, maybe the male codpiece could make a comeback.

Well, considering that thong bottoms are not allowed at most leisure centres, I'd say it's definitely not just a me problem. It seems that we as a society don't want to see other people's completely exposed naked bottoms at an indoor UK family pool.

Any woman can wear a low-cut top and a padded, push-up bra unless she's almost pretty much flat, which most aren't.

As I said, meanwhile back in the real world, most people find very skimpy clothing to be an inappropriate way to dress at things like wedding receptions, family events, work dinners, what have you. This is widely accepted in the real world. The anything-goes attitude on here doesn't reflect reality.

Ding ding.

But there can't be a single one of on her [sic] who doesn't know the effect that boobs have on men.

God, how pathetic, and what a low opinion you have of men.

Adult men who aren’t creeps can indeed control themselves in public if they happen to see a woman wearing a short dress, or a low cut dress, or even - astonishingly - when they go to beaches and see women in bikinis or indeed topless.

Women don’t have to hide their bodies because you’re married to a misogynist who has no respect for women and you apparently laugh along with his misogynistic comments about them thinking that this makes you superior to them, when in fact you’re the loser here because you’ve married someone who has demonstrated that he is a misogynist, and as a misogynist by definition he has no more respect for you than for any other woman and holds you in equal contempt.

I'm with you. I don't think it works for a bride or any of her guests. I'd have found it disrespectful at either if my weddings.

But I guess it is the overall look you are after?

I always had the theme that if I had my legs out, I'd go high neck and if I had something showing a bit of cleavage, I'd be wearing trousers or a longer skirt/dress. But my desired look was elegant/classy. And I'm slim, small everything.

I think some people are defined by having bigger boobs and wanting to get them out. Can suit some people and look tacky on others. I have great legs but less opportunities to get them out these days.

Each to their own.

Perhaps you’ll figure out what a mistake you’ve made when you’re a little older and wiser and realise that other women and their clothes were never the problem. Some time around when you decide to have children with him would be my guess on the timing when realisation will finally dawn on you.

Yet the OP decided to move to France, and is now complaining about this and stating that they should adjust their cultural norms (posting a thread complaining about French women being topless on a French beach where it’s the accepted norm) so as not to offend her because she believes her husband has no self-control to behave appropriately and, even more bizarrely, seems to believe all of these women find him irresistible.

Many German people still go on holiday to nudist camps, even family holidays with their children. The British are notoriously prudish in general although it’s relaxed a little in the last few decades, but can’t expect others to comply with their cultural preferences when visiting/ emigrating to their countries, any more than we would accept burkas being enforced here because it might make a subset of Muslim visitors/ immigrants happier. Or indeed, that we’d go on holiday to a Muslim country and expect to wander around scantily clothed.

The OP doesn’t seem to be able to grasp this though and thinks that all of these women are interested in her creepy husband and trying to entice him when in reality they probably think he’s a total creep for ogling them. Either that or she’s imagining that he is because she’s insecure and paranoid, but given her statements about the derogatory comments he’s made about other women the former seems to be more likely. What’s hard to understand is why she thinks the solution to this is for other women to modify their clothing choices rather than for her to divorce the misogynist and learn a lesson from her mistake.

I'd say their focus is more on grabbing attention with their sexuality than via other ways, which is not something to be respected since it's so easy, requires no effort, and we could all do it.

Why do you have an issue with women's sexuality? It's not something to be ashamed of.

It's not appropriate for large amounts of boobage to be on display at group events, which might include children and the elderly. Most people understand that. If someone likes a really skimpy dress that shows off most of their breasts (again, I'm NOT talking about just mere cleavage), then there's no reason why they can't wear it to a club or on a date night. Skimpy clothes have a time and a place, and group settings where not everyone wants to see other people's breasts aren't it. It's the same for men. People don't want to see men wearing tight cycling shorts in the office and at wedding receptions, and some swimming pools prohibit budgie smugglers. I believe thong bottoms are also banned at many pools.
The bottom line is that we don't go semi-naked in many settings because we all know that not everyone wants to look at other people's naked bodies and it's rude to make them. I, for one, don't want to see other people's hairy arses hanging out at my local pool.

Most people know how to dress appropriately for a particular occasion. I don't think that is really a widespread issue. However, I wouldn't disrespect someone who chose to wear something I wouldn't to an event. I wouldn't make assumptions about their morality - that's the issue I have.

I'm still the same person when I choose to dress provocatively and when I dress more conservatively.

They were on a French beach (the country OP decided to move to with her husband) where it is the norm, like in many other European countries. Therefore, if invited to go to a beach in France with colleagues or anybody else then this is to be expected as a distinct possibility (obviously not all women choose to go topless, but it’s very common and not at all outrageous or abnormal to do so).

The OP could have decided not to move to a country where this is the norm if she was uncomfortable with it. The OP could have decided not to go to the beach in France herself if she is uncomfortable with it. What the OP does not have the right to do is imply that these women are doing something wrong by being on a beach topless in a country where this is an accepted social norm, make derogatory comments about them, imply they are promiscuous and call them “sluts”.

Don’t worry I am also very clever and funny

but thanks for the tip about elegant cheap goods at M&S, I shall endeavour to put my wicked northern slag ways behind me

Believe it or not the girls I was referring to in the original post had a LOT more on show than that!

Skimpy clothes are appropriate for some settings and not others. There ARE actually settings where lots of bare boob on display is not appropriate, as I'm sure you know. The only place where this is not understood is on MN. Back in the real world, most people know how to adjust their clothing to the event.

I do think the dresses I posted are suitable for a nightclub or a date night. Not so much family events. I think any reasonable person would agree with that.

I don't make any assumptions about sex lives from someone showing most of their boobs (again, not talking about just cleavage); I couldn't care less if someone sleeps with a million men, if everyone involved is single and not hurting anyone. But parading most of your naked boobs is very attention-seeking, unless somewhere appropriate like in a club or on a date, and most people don't like attention-seekers very much. It's also just a below-the-belt way to grab male attention. It's easy, low-effort, and is meant to get men to stare. None of this inspires respect.

I'd LOVE to be more slutty than I am. MUCH more. 😂 I don't have as many opportunities as I'd like, since I'm overweight. But I, personally, don't want to look slutty. It's not elegant. Lots of boobage is just not elegant, and while people who show lots of boob don't deserve disrespect for it, they certainly don't gain any respect.

I don't make any assumptions about sex lives from someone showing most of their boobs (again, not talking about just cleavage); I couldn't care less if someone sleeps with a million men, if everyone involved is single and not hurting anyone.
Then why the repeated reference to a woman's sexuality?

But parading most of your naked boobs is very attention-seeking, unless somewhere appropriate like in a club or on a date, and most people don't like attention-seekers very much.
That's your personal preference though. What you deem 'attention seeking' others see it as personal preference. What other behaviour do you declare attention seeking and therefore inappropriate?

It's also just a below-the-belt way to grab male attention.

Only if you see it as a competition. Such a bizarre way to see it!

It's easy, low-effort, and is meant to get men to stare.
Not always, I only rend to dress provocatively when attending female only events.

None of this inspires respect.

Say who? Sounds like a 'you' issue again.

I'd LOVE to be more slutty than I am. MUCH more. 😂 I don't have as many opportunities as I'd like, since I'm overweight. But I, personally, don't want to look slutty. It's not elegant. Lots of boobage is just not elegant, and while people who show lots of boob don't deserve disrespect for it, they certainly don't gain any respect.

Again, this is all your personal preference. A woman dressing differently to you does not deserve to be slut shamed for it.