Is my partner lying to me and potentially cheating?

[JanetCompost]

So this is an odd one, but I think my partner has been cheating lately. Every time he tells me a story it's flawed and makes no sense.

There are many stories but the most recent one I'll start with. He claims he went out for food with a work colleague at The Railway pub in Streatham.

He showed me a photo, nothing suspicious here. Then I checked the menu, the dish he is eating isn't even from the Railway menu, and the table is different in the photos.

Also the plates don't match social media.

I know this is petty but I have many more examples, I'm wondering if I'm losing my mind here. Signed up for second thoughts as I don't know where to turn

Please get some therapy op.

He’s got the name of the nut wrong but that set off alarm bells in your head?… it was still a nut.

I don’t know if I’m slightly impressed by your creation of diagrams or not but they are very very worrying. Do you make them to confront him with? Because anyone subjected to that level of investigation in a relationship would end up being untruthful.

This relationship doesn't seem like it could work. There is clearly a lot of mistrust and honestly if I was in a partnership and my partner had done a map/timestamp sheet of when I was out - I would find that very worrying.

I thnk plates are usually specific to a restaurant.

This is one of the most bonkers threads in a while.

Are you kidding @JanetCompost

one small thing is you can’t trust what he tells you and you think he’s cheating? Give over.

This is abuse. You do realise that?

You’re setting up evidence boards and interviewing him. Do you have a dark room with a bright light shining in his face during the interrogation?

Have you read the thread?

Has anyone actually clicked on the 'evidence' she provided about last Christmas? It doesn't make any sense, doesn't support her conclusion and shows that if anything he is being abused by having to send constant messages and pictures to assure her he's not cheating.

OP - the few people on here telling you he is having an affair are not your friends. You need mental health support, possibly even some time away where you can be treated. I would go to a doctor and try to talk about this.

Has he cheated in the past??

It's irresponsible for anyone to be supporting or encouraging this almost psychotic behaviour. You don't trust him. Save yourself spending hours on your war boards and break up with him.

Im sorry, this is not normal or healthy behavior.

Have you considered he may be saying the first thing that comes into his head to escape your endless interrogations? How can you be bothered with this nonsense working out timelines etc to accuse him? If you are that convinced he lies all the time then leave him. This is no way for either of you to live. You don’t need proof if that’s how you think of him as previous posters have said the relationship is dead

I kind of wish I hadn't come back to this thread. With the first instance I thought: "That's a bit convenient that he thought to take a photo of his food" but then there are people in the world who don't seem to be able to eat a meal outside of their home without taking a photo of it...

But with the Christmas thing - why is he taking all of these photos? Do you ask him to? If you do then that's completely weird. And unfair. Either you have a frank conversation with him about your suspicions or you leave. You can't put anyone under this kind of scrutiny, it's unhealthy and controlling. Maybe he has treated you badly in the past - but even that is not an excuse, if you can't trust someone then you just leave. For your health and for their health.

This has to be a joke

He has lied about this, and if he’s lied about this, what else has he lied about? Spending time turning Ms Marple is not healthy. Fixating on where is he, and what he’s doing, and who with, is not healthy. Dump him and feel your mental health improve immensely.

Ring the place ask if they have recently sold a tart with pears , cheese and nuts

Oh you poor thing, you're clearly tying yourself up in complete knots over this.

Judging by your Christmas timeline you've been doing this for at least 10 months.

From what you tell us no-one on this board will be able to say for certain whether you are exhibiting very controlling, stalker behaviour and making his life miserable. Or whether he has been lying to you and turned you into what you're now doing.

Either way, things are incredibly unhealthy. You and him should not be together and you should really get some form of counselling to help you cope with where your mind must be at.

I can’t quite believe I’m posting this (and hence name change) but I was at The Railway Streatham last Saturday and these were the two plates provided for kid meals. They are both different.

Just to add as I’m now personally invested: the pub has two sides which are completely different. One is gourmet / higher end feel and the other is casual with live music. All the tables are mismatched.

oh now this is getting interesting! Did you by any chance have walnuts? And were you cheating on us?

I was with a cheater who pretended he had played a tennis match and texted me the scores of the sets, even telling me he survived a match ball.
Turned out he had not been anywhere a tennis court.
Just to tell you that if they do the effort to "document" where they have been and it turns out something does not add up, the guy is most probably cheating.

I was with a cheater and I became like that because of the fact that there were more and more things that did not add up. I confronted him, gave him the opportunity to come clear but he always had an explanation. But you keep having that uneasy feeling in your stomach, there's something you cannot put your finger on. And you wonder whether you suffer from paranoia or if he's taking you for a ride.
I felt that whenever he was telling me something I could not trust it which made me very anxious.
In the end I stopped asking but started snooping and lo and behold he was cheating and all the inconsistencies made sense. I ended it immediately and I felt an enormous relief after no longer being confronted with the lies. Only then I noticed what psychological torture that was.
I am still angry about how someone can wrongfoot someone like that.

The evidence boards are beyond batshit crazy!!! I’m embarrassed for you OP. Please move on and get some peace!! This is insane behaviour on your part.

It did rather put me in mind of this...