Husband is unrecognisable

[phlebasconsidered]

My DH and I have always been different politically. We've managed it- it's fine to have different views. I'm left, he's Tory.

Or, he was. We have two nearly grown kids, 17 and 18. He's recently been spending more time in the back room watching stuff that i've pointed out is insane. You tube, Brit news or whatever that bilge is, I don't know where it came from. He's justifying his views by citing sexual assaults on white girls. He's basically transmogrified into a fucking idiot and I can't believe it.

We used to differ on economics, sure, but now suddenly he's a 53 year old fascist? I can't talk to him. His arguments turn me around. He's been radicalised- I recognise it from experiences in my profession. He says he's going to the march on Saturday. I've told him i'll go on the opposing one.

There's no way forward as far as I can see. As far as I knew he was still a loving family man but now I just see a big arsehole. He just circles around the phrases when I tried to talk to him.

I would just stand my ground and argue back- he's been a good husband and father till now, hitting mid 50s. But i'm in a job where if he goes and protests on Saturday and gets arrested, I will be compromised, asI work with children.

I need to distance myself. I'd really like to know i'm not alone I was hoping it was a bit of a mid life crisis, but I think he's just become a toral cock.

Wtaf am I meant to do. I'd rather he ran off with a younger woman tbh. I feel ashamed of him!

What the hell is a ‘successful’ rape? And why hasn’t this uptick in rape and kidnap by foreign men made the news?

@Calmomileteasee that's just the problem, there's no evidence of this supposed 'uptick' in sexual violence perpetrated by 'foreigners'.

Unless you can actually post any proof? A single statistic from a reputable source?

“your analysis of what’s going on for him is pretty basic and not very nuanced.“

Yeah. Try being as nuanced as your bigoted dh op.

@CuriousKangaroo Ostracising people has not worked. If you actually want to reduce racism then you have to find another answer. You've insulted me by implying views I dont hold and have not apologised, your response to disagreement was immediately to resort to bullying.

I had professional involvement with the police too and what they will do now is not what they did 20 years ago. If you dont want to take action that's your right, it can be frustrating when there is insufficient evidence to prosecute and there often is not enough evidence. Racially aggravated offences reported to the police are now more likely to result in a charge or summons than other similar offences. https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/hate-crime-england-and-wales-year-ending-march-2024/hate-crime-england-and-wales-year-ending-march-2024

I wont engage further, you are not posting in good faith.

It's already been posted.

How does one go about raping themselves? 🤔

Comprehension fail there.

Honestly? Why do you think? Because it is covered up. Just like Sweden.

The news is full of stories of crime regardless of who it’s committed by. The cover-ups in Rotherham and Rochdale were revealed by news journalists and activists. And crime statistics are not ‘covered up’ yet don’t show what the pp claimed.

Sense of humour failure morelike. 🤣

But despite my mentioning this several times between this and the other thread, nobody wants to address the reality of 1200 women being sexually assaulted in one night in a single country, by mobs of recent immigrants and asylum seekers.

The only tangential response was to the quote from the man about being helpless when his 15yo daughter and wife were groped in front of him. The response basically said it was women's problem to worry about it and if a man did it was just evidence of men trying to control women's bodies - aka men shouldn't try and help when a sexual assault happens in front of them.

And the above incident was covered up by the authorities as the PP said. They claimed the night was 'largely without incident' and initially barred the press from reporting the ethnicity of the attackers once the stories did come out.

Same when around 40 girls, mostly under 15yo, were sexually assaulted at the music event in Stockholm. The police tried to cover it up. The issue is that we've become so indoctrinated that it's considered non pc to ever criticise the actions of a minority demographic even when they're clearly doing terrible things to us and clearly doing the same things in their home countries.

Sadly, it's likely to be the same posters screaming bloody murder in a few years time once the tide turns and it's deemed OK to call out sex crimes.

Approximately 1,200 women were reported in Germany to have been sexually assaulted, especially in the city of Cologne. In many of the incidents, while these women were in public spaces, they were surrounded and assaulted by large groups of men who were identified by officials as Muslim men of Arab or North African origin.

The Federal Criminal Police Office confirmed in July 2016 that 1,200 women had been sexually assaulted on that night

The Cologne police chief suggested that the perpetrators had come from countries where such sexual assaults by groups of men against women are common.[20] That suggestion was confirmed in a Federal Criminal Police Office report in June 2016, which also identified five more factors contributing to the occurrence of the attacks: group pressure, absence of police intervention, frustrations of migrants, disinhibition caused by alcohol and/or drug use, and disinhibition due to lack of social ties with indigenous German society.

In addition to the distrust towards national news media, political commentators and right-wing politicians accused the authorities or police of trying to cover-up or ignore the New Year's Eve sexual attacks or the ethnic background of the suspects to avoid fueling a backlash against the refugees or migrants who had recently arrived in Germany in great numbers, and nearly all German press were wondering whether such political correctness had played a role in 'slow' reporting of the attacks by the police.[31]

The suspicion of a governmental cover-up proved partly correct in April 2016, when it was discovered that after a first preliminary report of the Cologne police of 2 January 2016, mentioning "rape, sexual assaults and thefts carried out by a large group of foreign nationals" on the New Year's Eve, the North Rhine-Westphalian Interior Ministry telephoned the Cologne police, asking them to tone down the report and remove the word 'rape' from it.[23]

At the Stockholm annual music festival for youths between 13 and 19, 'We Are Sthlm', in both 2014 and 2015 the police received numerous reports of sexual harassment from women or girls, often younger than 15 years of age. The police did not publicise those reports, but Sveriges Radio reported about them shortly after the August 2015 festival.

On 17 January 2016, Russian television channel REN TV quoted Cologne imam Sami Abu-Yusuf as blaming the victims for the sexual assaults, because they had been walking around perfumed and 'half-naked'. The imam later protested in a German newspaper that his words had been taken out of context, and that he had only tried to explain the assaults, without justifying them. He argued that they resulted from women being scantily dressed and wearing perfume, along with young men being disinhibited by drugs, or alcohol.[176][179]

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2015%E2%80%9316_New_Year%27s_Eve_sexual_assaults

Ok not sure what response you’re looking for since it wasn’t me that said that? There are some examples of horrific incidents that have been prosecuted and reported. All of your examples indicate that authorities may have tried to cover things up but journalists reported it.

But what none of that tells you is that some nationalities are more likely to do this, any more than the prevalence of brown haired white male school shooters tells you that brown haired white males are more dangerous.

And in any case, the question asked was in response to a pp who said kidnaps and ‘successful’ rapes have increased where they live (which I assume is the Uk).

@GingerPower you post about that terrible mass attack over and over again. You seem to think we should judge all Muslim men in the UK by a horrific event that took place almost ten years ago in another country.

It is not the left wing or liberals challenging right wing ideas that are responsible for the rise in right wing ideas! Great gaslighting. So if we shut up right wing ideas would just die away?

For a rise in right wing ideas to reach the populace you need three things: economic, social and political. You need all three. One or two won’t do. A strong labour movement that resits wage cuts etc and a strong social commitment to affordable housing etc won’t create the political conditions for a movement. Because the already rich always want to reduce worker benefits and charge higher rents because it is profitable. Most times their greed is curtailed. But if the economic and social benefits are already low then the political wing of the already rich can jump in and argue that the poor - on benefits, single mothers, disabled, carers, immigrants, whoever - are the problem.

It’s divide and rule 101. And if you swallow this hook, line and sinker when it’s clearly against your interests, you are being played. It’s not about being university educated it’s about being gullible. And maybe feeling powerless. It’s easier to imagine that violence against women and girls is not due to boyfriends, husbands and fathers but immigrants.

Quite! To quote the wonderfully talented Grace Petrie from her song 'The House Always Wins' -
"but when the dinghies got you tied up in knots, you don't worry bout the Super Yachts"

It’s happened to a me but with a friend of 40 years… she watches YouTube constantly and has become a thoroughly nasty piece of work. I can’t keep company with her now…. feel sad about it.

@PocketSand quick read of take a break might alert them to the idea that yes there are some bad lots amongst immigrants but an awful lot of bad lots amongst white born and bred British males too - particularly the kind that seem very keen on aligning themselves with Farage, Tate etc

Well, the fact I've posted repeatedly about it and had one solitary reply is the reason people need reminded of the uncomfortable truth.

Imagine if there was a trans protest and 1200 women were sexually assaulted by transwomen. We'd defo hear about it then!

And perhaps you could direct me to the post where you think I've said we should judge all British Muslim men like that.

Fact is, we're almost a decade past the most grievous instance of sexual assault in Europe seen in our lifetime. Somehow we still have things like Rotherham happening and women going to lengths to actively downplay the problem.

What did the PP say upthread? Men worrying about their wives/teenage daughters being sexually assaulted is just further proof of them trying to control women's bodies?

This is why Reform are going to win. And all the people that contributed to it will blame it on someone else (probably right wing thugs) and continue to play the victim.

@GingerPower reform have a huge chunk of support amongst the kinds of blokes who actually take up around 85% of Take a break magazine with abuse and violence and mysoginistic behaviour against women and girls in their own families as do paedophiles in the nick - all white and usually British born and think they are salt of the earth, so please don’t imply the only atrocities are Muslim ones or Eastern Europeans as Reform are keen on implying. They just get reported an awful lot more. The right wing loves reporting stuff like this, the left wing don’t like reporting it because they are often far too fair for their own good. Does that make things like Rotherham right, of course it doesn’t and yes they need to stamp down hard on it with action amongst their own communities too, but the idea that all these kinds of issues are not prevalent amongst white British males ( and I’m 63 and white British and not some radical lefty either) is absolute baloney - and I blame a lot of older white British women too for going along with it and being too cowardly to point out the complete arseholes in their own communities too and the total hypocracy amongst many white males of a certain type, who are more than happy to treat women and girls like shit

Notwithstanding the fact that white men do it to, It is very reductionist to not take into account the cultural and religious implications with migrant men from certain parts of the world. You feel it whenever you visit these countries (where Islam is the dominant religion), even the more westernised ones like Morocco and Egypt. It is plainly ignorant and even mendacious to claim that walking down a street in the UK feels less intimidating as a woman than it does in those countries.

Yes, leering and catcalling happens here, but nowhere near to the same level. Its why I will never visit these parts of the world again to be honest, it just doesn't feel safe.

It is plainly ignorant and even mendacious to claim that walking down a street in the UK feels less intimidating as a woman than it does in those countries

Did you mean to type more intimidating rather than less? Or are you saying it is more intimidating for women to walk down the street in the UK than it is in Egypt or Morocco?

did he go in the end @phlebasconsidered