Bisexual husband has a breakdown

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My husband has recently had a mental breakdown after taking ketamine for 8 months (I had no idea) as a means of escape. We have been married for 18 years and have young children together. Our marriage hadnt been great the last couple of years since a death in the family .since his breakdown my husband is now telling his friends he has to be true to himself and is bisexual. He has always messed around with bi porn but has never felt the need to tell other people. He’s now ‘clean’ from the drugs and is saying he had the break down because he can’t handle our life and he either has to change our relationship or end it. He says it doesn’t matter that he’s bi because he’s with me and he has no intention of being with men . Do you think the drugs have changed his sexual preference, or is he just now admitting it to
himself? And why do other people need to know 🙈

Agreed. That plus the drugs equals LTB. I think the kids would call him a wasteman and he’s only good for the bin.

Dont waste your time trying to figure him out, he isnt worth the effort. Just get him out of your life and draw a line.

I agree with this. Unfortunately, I also think your husband is going to come out as gay and is dropping little truth bombs to ‘sweeten’ the actual truth. Nothing wrong with being gay but unforgivable to pull the wool over your eyes in the way he has.
I hope you and the children are ok OP, he sounds like a horrendous liability. 💐

Well, he could be bi. But clearly he wants to "explore that part of his sexuality", as they say.

OP, he does want to sleep with men, he will sleep with men, he's probably already sleeping with men.

OP, you don't want this because nobody wants this.

He is responsible for how he feels and nobody else. You sound like you are both prioritizing him in the relationship.

This relationship is finished and it is time to harden your heart

This, this and more this!

Jeez - it doesn’t matter how badly a man treats some women they’ll always waste their life - and their children’s lives - excusing and trying to analyse the cunt. Instead of doing the right thing and walking away. I’ll never understand it. Walk away love. He’s an absolute waste of oxygen.

he says he hadntbeen happy in our marriage for a couple of years and now wants to find a new path.

Thankyou so much for your message, I just feel like our whole marriage has been a lie and he’s just used me to have the kids and be his nanny and now he can go and do exactly as he likes

I’m sorry OP that all this has happened to you, but if he’s been arrested and bailed for hurting you then what ever the drugs have or haven’t done to him, whether he’s clean or not, and whether he’s straight, bi or gay is of no consequence, because surely he’ll never be coming near you or your children ever again??

I said to him about 3 years ago that I thaught he was just using me as a nanny for his children and would eventually come out as gay , he denied it of course. He’s literally lied to me for the best years of my life

I cannot imagine how much Ket someone would need to take to make them Bi.
He is s self centred whiny idiot OP, get rid

I’ve spent 15 years putting him first , and the kids , and now I r totally lost myself

I think that you need to put ALL his shit aside for a minute and think about what is best for you and your children.

The bloke has been doing hard core drugs for 8 months. He thinks he's bi. He's had a breakdown.

It would probably be best for everyone if he moved out for a bit and sorted his head out. I suspect, he'll decide he wants to be with his family. But he probably needs the space to come to that conclusion.

And you and the children need space from his shit. You may well decide that YOU don't want HIM back.

You are right, I need to get a grip.

He's an awful man and you deserve so much better.
Try and get some therapy and heal.
Look after yourself and your kids. Remember none of this is your fault x

Let's be clear though, if drugs could change a persons sexuality, the pharmaceutical industry would be on it and making gazillions from it. It isn't the drugs. It's who he is. He's probably had the breakdown due to a combination of drugs and inability to accept his sexuality,

you are right. Do you think his anger issues over the years must be due to being frustrated and living a life he doesn’t want? How will I ever explain to my children that being bisexual was more important than them ?

You don’t. You tell them he was an abusive Man that hurt you so he no longer gets to see them. Don’t give him ownership of the decision.

You don't, he does

I feel like I’m trying to be incredibly gracious protecting the children by soaring them the info of what he’s done, but he dies t deserve that. I’m doing it for them not him

Of course you are doing it for them. And that's what makes you better than him.

You don't need to tell them anything about his sexuality. Just say that Mummy and Daddy don't get along any more, and will be happier apart, and you both still love them.

They'll learn, in years to come when they are old enough to understand it, what he did.

Thank you

He told me 3 years ago that he doesn’t find me attractive , I don’t know why it’s taken him to turn to drugs and to tell everyone he’s bisexual for me to have realised sooner that it’s over . I feel like such an idiot now looking back

You're not an idiot, OP. You are a kind-hearted person who has been physically, mentally and emotionally abused.