How long do you wait after being told "I don't know what I want"

[Mondaybluez]

Just that really....
After a year together if someone told you after a small argument/disagreement which ended up with them shouting at you down the phone and saying "leave me alone its over and its done" then when you speak again, 4 days later they say "they don't know what I want" in reference to the relationship....how long would you give it until you decide enough is enough now and they've had long enough to think.....

For reference is been on 4 days since the I don't know what I want comment...

Posting for opinions for my fab friend as we see this very differently.

This. It would have been over before the phone call ended. My motto is “you can’t fire me! I quit.”

If someone didn't know that they wanted me 100%, then I'd assume they were an idiot and chalk it up to their loss.

"I've just told her not to bother contacting him and go her own way"

Exactly!

He has told her to leave him alone and that he is done.

I would ignore any advances from him or comments on her profile or anything. My reason being he has told me to leave him alone. I would do so.

I would just do my own thing, whatever I want to do, taking him in no way into consideration.

The ONLY chance she has with this man is if she ignores him for the foreseeable until his attitude really changes. (although goodness knows why she would accept him back - I wouldn't)

Exactly this. Don’t give a second chance to mess you about

Sounds like this man has a very nasty, manipulative streak.
He tells your friend she's dumped
Then he messages her saying she's beautiful
Then when she responds he says "oh I'm not sure about you"
Now he's changed his profile photo knowing she'll be watching

Wouldn't be surprised if his next move is to put up a status implying he's moving on with someone new

He's playing her like a fiddle

One really really important thing to remember is that no one is EVER to busy to send a text message if they really want to. However - if they don’t want to, they will find reasons. That’s all you need to know.
If you’re truly keen to let someone know you are thinking of them you can literally do this while having a wee. Even if you’re a deep sea diver on a North Sea oil rig. (My DH when we were dating) .

He is not messaging because he doesn’t want to. Time to name move on.

To me ‘I don’t know what I want’ means ‘I know what I want and it’s not you but you’ll do as a dick-warmer, for now.’

They’d be out of the door and out of my life. I’m no one’s consolation prize or second best.

You need to block him. This is a ridiculous situation.

I totally agree!

Love this!
His last relationship was over 8 years ago.....says alot doesn't it

Wow cool job your husband has or did have previously!!
But yes your right...and he isn't busy especially not like your husband.... not busy at all actually

This is just too much drama. It's only been a year and they've had a break up a few months ago already.

We must only have been together about six months when that happened.

Now he said it's over again.

I totally agree!
She's hung up on the profile picture change because he has never changed his pic for over a year before and the pic is a pic she took of him while they were out for a meal...she thinks this is him trying to get her to message him but she doesn't know if she should....she shouldn't and she shouldn't care but it is never than easy is it...

He's a bastard. And very nasty!

People do change their whatsapp profile pictures, though. I used to change mine all the time.

Immediately. It's just the cowards thing of making you finish it

That phrase to me means they do know what they want and it’s not you. However they won’t say that because they haven’t really found anyone else yet and are keeping their options open.

Yes they Do. I do too. However since she met him he's never changed his not once.....what dya make of it?

I agree....

It would depend on

• what I want
• if this was the first time they’d pulled this stunt or not

Yes I think it was about 6/7 months when they broke up first time - him leaving ending it abruptly - while she was going through ALOT and I mean ALOT of really awful awful things too...

Exactly this.
He doesn’t want her. He knows that, or he’d be with her trying to work it out. He’s not. And he hasn’t even the balls to say so.

I'm starting to realise through my own experiences that alot of men are like this..

From what I see - she just wants to stop hurting asap and that means them being ok and continuing but he isn't the best

And yes he's done similar before

They’ve ended the relationship anyway sadly it’s not your choice

She can go through this hurt once and done with him now, or she can hang on and maybe get to go through it again down the line, maybe in a week, 2 weeks, 2 months.

I'd prefer once and done.