Anyone awake?

[Littlemess]

Could use someone to chat to

Ah OP. There's a lot to unravel here and I have no experience with any of it. But I just wanted to say that I hope some of the advice you've been given works out for you. My husband was trying to get Oasis tickets and the amount of scammers selling fake ones was incredible so I can see how easily people get duped online by people appearing legit. Please be kind to yourself. You are one of thousands of people who have fallen victim to a scam just today. If they weren't clever, they wouldn't work and there is no shame.

Thanks @Gofaster2023

Mightn't help but isn't that meant to be lucky 😕

I completely understand why you want to be able to hide that it happened, but separately from that, do you actually want to go on holiday with your dh?

It sounds like you’d have a lovely peaceful time if you stayed home.

So sorry OP. I was going to suggest your bank but I can see you've already tried them. I hope you're ok. I work for a bank and this happens all the time. Please don't be hard on yourself x

Hi OP. I have to try and go to sleep but I didn’t want to read your message and not reply.

I’m not an expert at advice but maybe you should have a think whether you want to stay in this marriage (ignoring the scam for the moment) and if not, what is stopping you from leaving? If the answer is that you would rather be single than unhappy then speak to Women’s Aid and tell them you feel miserable and trapped and can’t see a way out financially and see what they say. Also follow the advice you have already had re banks, police etc. We have a benefits system for a reason to help low paid workers with housing and support, you might be better off than you think?

If it’s a bad patch with your husband and you would like to stay married to him, then I think you need to tell him what has happened and ask him to help you. He may be annoyed or irritated initially but maybe some honest conversation will come from it and you can tell him how worried/scared/ill it’s making you, both the loss of money and having to tell him. If he is a decent partner he won’t want you to be miserable and perhaps he will be able to help? If he does lose the plot over this, is he really who you want to spend the rest of your life with?

I’m so sorry about your son, do you have any friends or family you can chat to? If not I wonder if your GP could help or the 111 mental health line?

I’ll check in later, all the best x

Hello, I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing? Feeling alone is a terrible, terrible feeling but there are multiple ways of getting help in this situation. You are not alone. One thing at a time.

Don’t blame your self @Littlemess this is so easily done. These people are very good at what they do. Hopefully the bank will be able to refund it.
I had ‘Halifax’ call to discuss my credit card and I had just got a credit card from them as I was about to start discussing my security information husband shouted across WTF are you doing believing it’s them. As soon as I questioned them they hung up. But had husband not over heard I would have happily shared info.

Thanks everyone for trying to make me feel better. I’ve not slept a wink, up for work now. Trying to make things right in my head.

Whatever you decide, whatever happens , please, please know that there is support out there. Women’s aid, Samaritans - they will not judge- they will help you. They have seen and heard everything and can help you through this.
This too will pass.

OP, I’ve just read your thread and just want to wish you a better day today and hope that with the sun up and a nice big cup of coffee or tea and some food inside you you feel up to making a plan. I agree with pp that it’s worth getting some advice and not taking no for an answer from the bank.

In a perfect world you could tell DH and he’d say the same as everyone here: this happens all over the world to people every day and the people who do these scams are really good at what they do.

In a less perfect world, many of us have husbands or wives who would react with some degree of anger - but they’d calm down and it would be over and done with, and they’d find their love and solidarity. I don’t think I could count on my DH not to get upset in the immediate but I could completely count on him to get over himself and be supportive and kind.

The deeper question here is what this tells you about your DH. Do you even want to go on holiday with him? Is he going to begrudge you every can of coke?

I just wanted to see how your day went? Did you manage to call your bank again or the police. I am a bit concerned about your husbands attitude towards you to be honest, I didn’t like the way he ignored you vomiting and offered no care or comfort. You seem to be walking on egg shells around him and this seems like the final straw.

I hope so 🤣

How are you tonight OP? I’ve read through your post, and it seems like you’re being very hard on yourself.
Yes you might have been a little naive in this scamming situation but what you’re forgetting is that you’re the victim in this. These types of scammers are professionals at manipulating vulnerable people.
Please report this to the police, and also speak to victims support through the police. They will reassure you that none of this was your fault, and you certainly aren’t the only person to have been conned in this way.
It’s probably best to also be honest with your DH, sooner rather than later so you can see if this holiday is salvageable if he can support you financially for it. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be for you when the truth does come out.
Just remember, you’re the victim, you’ve been manipulated and preyed on, over a period of time. You need support of the police and also loved ones around you.
Forgive yourself for this mistake, you are the victim of a crime x

Just checking in with you op. I hope that it felt a little bit more manageable in the cold light of day. And I hope that you get a really good night’s sleep tonight.

I think it’s amazing how many of us were awake last night … most prob overthinking, restless or perhaps perimenopausal:)

Thanks for messaging. I was exhausted yesterday. Was nodding off at work, as soon as I got home I was out like a light couldn’t stay awake. It is weird so many women are awake during the night. Why do women carry all the stress and worries of life?

Morning @Littlemess

How are you feeling today?

Have you spoken to your husband about the holiday?

A lot of us have been thinking of you.

I’m feeling ok. Less shocked than I was last nite

@Littlemess have you tried to report this as a crime? How are things at home?

I have I got a crime reference number but the police advised there may be little they can do as it was a fake profile. The crime reference number helped with my bank though who are being more helpful.

things at home are ok. Still haven’t told him. Hoping by some miracle my bank can fix my mess

@Littlemess I hope so too. I really am hoping your bank could reimburse you. It sounds like this person befriended you which makes it more hurtful. When do you go away with your husband? I know it’s a horrible feeling holding something like this inside. Are you sure you are not in an abusive relationship? Sorry if I’m over stepping the line but do you know what amounts to abuse. With my first husband he was actually my first relationship and I thought his behaviour was normal until I was petrified of him.The walking on egg shells is part of that and I feel you probably experience it.

I'm glad you reported it, this too will pass.

Hey, how are things today? 😘