I have been in a relationship with my partner for over 3 years. We get on well but there is one major problem - his daughter. Prior to me, he had other short relationships, his daughter did not like any of his previous partners and had a hand in the breakdown of their relationship. Her and her father are VERY close (almost to the exclusion of all others) and he has her on a pedestal and spoils her rotten (to the point of ridiculousness) and treats her almost like a partner. She has a say in what he wears, what he eats, where he goes, what car he drives and he tells her everything (including about his relationships). She is rude and dismissive but he cannot see that as he has rose tinted glasses on!
She currently lives with her mum but my partner has just bought a house (that they chose together - if she did not like the house that he liked, he would not go for it and she had measurements of how big her room had to be) and she is moving in with him. She has already told him what she wants doing to the house and what new furniture he should buy for the house so it will in effect be their house.
All through our relationship she has been there, making sure she is there at weekends (our time together) and choosing where we go, what we do and what we eat etc. He always gives her her way. They walk along arm in arm (with me walking behind) and if me and my partner go out together for an evening, she asks him how much he spent! He tells her when we have an argument and basically everything about our relationship.
I have tried SO hard to get on with her, I have been nice, bought her lovely gifts, gone along with what she wants to do etc but to no avail. She has never hugged me and most of the time barely speaks to me. She doesn't have many friends and the way she is has caused issues with her mum and her partner and his children (who can't wait for her to move out).
Before all the keyboard warriors say I am jealous, I can assure you I am not! I have a lot of friends and have never really had anyone dislike me for no reason before. I have friends with children her age and they love me and love spending time with me, I think I am an amicable person and have never had an issue like this before. I have my own house and am self sufficient and independent and am in no way jealous at all!
I am however at my wits end, I feel uncomfortable around her as she just ignores me and fawns all over her dad and I can't see it getting any better. She wants me gone (like all the others) and I get the impression that she wants her dad (and his money) all for herself.
Now they are moving in together, I can't see a good ending. She will be there all the time and as she does not make me feel welcome in any way, I won't want to go round there so in effect, she has "won" yet again.
The problem is, I do love him (and he loves me) and we get on well but he is completely blinkered about his daughter. When I have said that it is an issue and that she does not make me feel welcome and does not speak to me, he just says "that is the way she is".
I can't see things changing anytime soon and I am worried that them moving in together could be the final straw as we can't progress our relationship while they are living together.
I don't want to split up but I just don't know what to do. Any advice / thoughts would be appreciated but please, no trolls as my mental state is not great at the moment. Thank you.