Badoo

[Pregnanttoad]

Hi
I'm wondering if anyone can help me please.
Checked some online bank statements with my partner for something and I noticed repeated transactions showing £5.49 from [email protected]
He's saying they are transactions from online phone games however when I asked him to show me the games he wouldn't.
He was also very attentive last night in a way that suggested he was feeling guilty. I had a horrible feeling in my stomach when I saw the transactions and it hasn't gone away.
I'm not someone who has trust issues, I'm usually pretty chilled.
Is there anyone who can advise me please? Partner has denied any wrong doing etc and has said he won't buy online games anymore, I said I have absolutely no issue with him buying online games, but it doesn't make sense that transactions are saying Badoo on it?
Thanks

I'm finding things so hard. I'm crying at the drop of a hat. I'm so so sad. I am not eating or sleeping properly. I am managing to look after my 4 month old baby very well but he feels my sadness despite me trying to hide it. He seems to sense I am so sad. I feel like I'm tormenting myself thinking about all the details even when I try not to. I feel lost

sending you a big hug sweetheart ! I promise things will get better ,stay strong for your lovely baby -and be glad you are rid of this excuse of a man .

Thank you. I am trying so hard. Last night I had severe stomach pains after I had to look at the bank statements as I'm trying to do something for benefits, Seeing the transactions and I was in agony and scared I'm losing the baby I'm carrying.
I literally had to stop trying to sort out the bank statement thing and it took a few hours for the pains to be gone. I've had no bleeding.
I am a very strong person, gone through so much trauma and I feel this might be the thing that breaks me. I'm strong for my children and for this baby I'm carrying but it's a sad situation

I am in the process of losing my baby. I knew it would happen so it isn't a shock.
It has been the worst week of my life but I'm getting through it.
Thank you for all your messages. I am calm, still sad but strong

OP I’m so so sorry! This is just such a heartbreaking situation. Surround yourself with as many family and friends as you can and accept help wherever it’s offered so you can get that waste of space DH away from you and the devastation he’s caused.

I am so sorry to hear that - you poor lady. My thoughts are with you.
Do not let this man break you - he is just a man, a very repulsive and disrespectful one that has caused you so much pain and heartache, but just a man nonetheless.
Keep talking to trusted people, cry as much as you need to as you have every right to do that, rest as much as you can and let your body recover before you start dealing with the mind stuff.

Put him on block - you do not need to have anything to do with him right now until you are ready to.

Take some time just for you right now - he needs to go back under the rock he crawled out from and does not deserve one second of your time.
I am so angry for you.

Thinking of you 🌻

I’m so sorry. He’s a scum bag and you deserve a million times better.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Sending you a huge hug xx

Thank you everyone. It's a really horrible time. Im terrible at picking men obviously

Don’t blame yourself, this isn’t your fault for picking him, it’s his fault for being a prick!

Feeling quite numb today. It's horrible the way a betrayal like this shocks you to the core. I've not slept much these last few days or eaten too much either.
Today I get to speak to my sister in person and I'm so scared of the tears that are going to come. I feel like every time I cry, the sadness seeps out of me

What you're feeling is betrayal trauma and it's normal to have that in your circumstances. It will start to get better when he's gone, but I'm sorry to say that it's going to suck for awhile. You'll come out the other side faster if you let your feelings out, so seek support from your sister and friends.🩷

Thank you. Yeah I'm seeking support from them and I feel really grateful. It helps to talk. He wants to sweep things under the table

You're not. It's just that there's a whole load of them out there. Don't beat yourself up.

It's just such a mess. We've got a beautiful 4 and a half month old who deserves everything and all this shit is going on. I just feel lost at the moment

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. But going through is the only way out. You have every right to cry and sob your heart out as much as you need and for as long as you need - just let it out.

Healing from this sort of thing is slow and painful and there will be times when you think you are never going to stop.

It is very early days so just take it easy on yourself.

I also used to think that the common denominator in my toxic and/or abusive relationships had to be me. It is not. There are an awful lot of bad partners out there, hence why dogs will be my thing now.
I also attract these types of people - always have and always will I suspect. I am kind, I over care, I need to fix people, I blame myself when things go wrong, I am a deep thinker.
I also have my sh*t together in practical terms (I am sure emotionally will follow soon!) - but I have the qualities that emotionally immature and men will love. It means they don't have to do the work, make an effort or take accountability and there is always someone there to try and fix and them so they don't have to.

You will get through this!

It's just such a mess. We've got a beautiful 4 and a half month old who deserves everything and all this shit is going on. I just feel lost at the moment

And you are giving her/him the best thing possible! What will be a happy, stable, loving environment once you have grieved and recovered.

The only thing you cannot change for her here is the biological father. But it sounds like she has an amazing family around her, a mum that wants the best for her and I wouldn't be surprised if, like most of these useless pieces of skin, that he will disappear pretty quickly when it comes to fatherhood.

Just focus on you and your beautiful child, sod him completely and ignore him until you feel stronger.

One day/hour at a time.

@Sunflowers67 sadly I think that’s me too -

Where’s your ex through all of this? Hopefully not hanging around making it harder!

At the moment we're still together. I packed and left yesterday but then him and his mum messaged me and I went home. I didn't know what I should be doing

Don't let him bring you round! The man is a cheating prick and you should tell his mother to piss off and stop messaging you. This is HIS fault - nobody else's.

You do know what to do - he’s a lying cheating piece of shit. And presumably an adult so why’s he getting mummy to fight his battles?

Don’t let him and his mum talk you round. Does mummy dearest know what he’s done?

Urgh to his mother messaging you. He’s a prick for that and so so much more.

Don’t forget he messaged a significant number of women. He is not worthy of your time or thoughts.

I'm reading and listening. Thank you, I need to keep strong. I'm supposed to be going away with him on Sunday for a week. He has manipulated me into feeling guilty if we don't go away cos we're going with his parents. They know what he has done but don't know everything.
I am going to leave him but feel I have to wait until we come back from holiday.
I have a place to stay with my mum after holiday or before holiday but she has friend with her which would make it awkward. My mum made me feel me and baby could only stay for a short time and it made me feel unwelcome and a burden. I felt like that even when I had explained I would pay rent and look for own place immediately etc. My sister and brother in law are buying a house and we can move in with them but it's at the start of the process.
I just feel lost, I need strength and to know what to do

It’s understandable. This is your future you don’t need to cut your nose of to spite your face. He’s responsible for paying towards his child. Look into the benefits you will be entitled to. Speak to the council about your situation. Knowledge is power.

If you are serious about splitting (or even if you are not) I think you need space away from him to collect yourself. Why don’t you suggest he takes your DC with him on holiday and you stay behind. It will give you time to get plans together. This is what the future looks like for the both of you and it’s time he realised that his actions have consequences. They are not consequences you have asked for or deserve. If anyone should be upset it’s you. But he’s not a safe person for you and deep down you know if you emotionally invest him anymore he will just let you down again. You are the strong one. You can do this. And do it on your terms and timeline.