Single life

[PerkyOchrePeer]

Anyone prefer the single life? I'm single and I love it

I've been single for over 20 years and I love it. I couldn't imagine ever sharing my life with someone again, it would be too much of an adjustment, and I'm sure they would irritate me. I don't think I'm made for relationships.

I’ve been single for about 15 years, and this is what I miss.
It’s the small interactions, like where you can come home knackered after work and just chat about trivial things. Being single, you always have to make an effort to interact - phone someone up who is probably busy with their own family, or make the effort to go out and meet up with friends; a meeting that has been prearranged. You rarely get any spontaneous socialising - there is no ‘do you fancy wandering down to the pub for a pint?’ on a sunny Sunday afternoon or having a daft conversation about something you are watching on tv together.

Look, let’s be honest: for most people being single is never going to beat a really happy relationship, and when we’re low it’s that kind of relationship that we miss. But the alternative to being single is often not a lovely relationship, it’s a whole spectrum of not-that-great ones.

Definitely. Happily divorced. Would not contemplate another relationship.

For me I can’t imagine having a stressful day then having to go home and there’s someone else there who might want a conversation - it’s days like that, I relish my peace.

I thought the very same when I read that post!

If I’ve had a stressful day, the last thing I want when I come home is someone there who I have to talk to and engage with. I relish coming home to a quiet, peaceful house, one that’s exactly as I left it that morning, where I can do exactly what I want, at my own pace, without having to consider anyone else. I spend much of my working day talking, I don’t particularly want to have to keep talking when I get home.

I’m single by choice, and have been for over 20 years, most of my adult life. I’m now mid-40s. There is no way I would ever have another conventional relationship, the thought of one leaves me cold. I’m very content with my life and lifestyle. Another poster on a similar previous thread said that relationships could only offer her complexity and compromise, and that really resonated with me. A relationship could add nothing of value to my life, and could significantly detract from my level of happiness. So, no thanks. I have some male friends who meet my need for sex and intimacy, but within a framework of no commitment or expectation of same, and that works very well.

I can’t imagine any circumstances where I’d want to live with a man again . I love my single life full of other single friends , we have a blast .

Love being single. Was in a toxic relationship for almost ten years, finally escaped last year and I feel so free. I find enjoyment in my friends, hobbies, future career goals etc. I truly do see the glimmer in every day now, even if it’s as simple as a hot cup of coffee! X

Could have written this myself! It feels so vulnerable to say I would like a relationship

The difference is women could easily find a man if they wanted whereas most men find it hard to meet anyone. Supply and demand.

Men and women who are single by choice are, by default, happy with that choice; but a lot of men are involuntary single because they can't find a relationship. Women tend to be single more by choice, with men it's mixed. Women who are unhappily single struggle to find the right person.

I think this changes with age though.
Men in their older years seem to find it easy to date younger women as well as women their own age so have more choice.

I don't think it's so easy for older women.

And I mean a relationship here not just hook up sex.

From reading the comments I think that your attitude to singledom depends on what previous relationships were like.
Women who have had shitty relationships seem to prefer being single, and who can blame them!

It’s expensive. I sometimes see love scenes from TV series and think it would be nice to be looked at and kissed like that.

But ultimately, I can never trust a man in a relationship ever again and I’m not the type to be able to manage FWB. I know I am safe if I don’t get involved. And it’s really not worth the risk having been there, done that.

And single life is fine. I can do what I want when I want, finances permitting. I don’t need to worry about being criticised, having hairy legs or anything.

So actually, single life is great!

I never found it easy to find a bf. Ex model and reasonably attractive, educated etc.

Yes, single with a toddler.
life is so free.
I don’t think I could have a relationship again. I’m 30

Do you think everyone is like you? Clearly you do.

He said nobody cares if I'm dead or alive because nobody phones me

That kind of isolation can drive people to despair.

GFY you can tolerate it and make the most of your life. Some people value and want connection.

My mum lived like this in 1980s. After my dad and her got divorced. She was very happy.

I think lots of women have been living alone happily for generations. They just keep it quiet.

I had a single life forced upon me really but I have become used to it & see some advantages to it.

I wouldn't sing from the roof tops that being single is amazing and am silently envious of close friends & family whose marriages & relationships are happily outlasting mine, but being single is definitely better than being in an unhappy relationship with an uncommunicative person.

For men to easily date younger women they need to have a lot going for them. That's not most men.

I might be an outlier but I had a happy 23 year marriage where we just drifted into being more like best mates than partners. Me and my ex are still good friends.
Ive only actually had 4 partners in my life and other than the last one - a 2 year rebound that wasn’t great but certainly not shit or abusive - I’ve only had positive experiences.

I think a lot of older women just reach the stage in life where being so the feels like a gift to ourselves after decades of being the wife and the mother.

I think that’s a bit of a simplistic view, tbh. I’ve never been one who wanted a full-on, domestic bliss type of relationship. That’s not for me.
I’ve had relationships, but they’ve always been ones which were somewhat unconventional in that we both always knew that the end-goal was not cohabitation and marriage. But nonetheless they’ve been happy, good relationships. I have had one poor one, but that hasn’t outweighed the good ones in my view of relationships. I just don’t feel that traditional style relationships have anything that could enhance my life.

only older men who are in a good shape, handsome or well off financially and generous can get interest from certain type of younger women ( daddy issues or in need of financial security/ desperate to start family). It’s doesn’t apply to an average older bloke with nothing going on for him.

Exactly.

why would a young woman in her twenties settle for a much older man with no money and a rubbish job.

There are plenty of young men in their twenties with no money and a rubbish job. The young twenty, something man will at least be a lot better looking and better in bed and have scope for improving their lot in life

Fair enough.
I do know of instances where this hasn't been the case but they might be the exception.

Doesn’t stop the deluded ones trying though. In my OLD days I was regularly approached by men 10/15/20 years by senior and who looked every minute of their age declaring we were made for each other and getting g abusive when they hit a polite ‘no thank you’